From here I would like to turn to the words of the Shelah HaKadosh, in his work Sh’aar HaOtiyot – and present these things in our language. It is written in Megillat Eichah (4:10): וֹת בִּשְּׁלוּ אֶת יַלְדֵיהֶן יְדֵי נָשִׁים רַ חֲמָנִי – The hands of compassionate women cooked their children. What would we do with a seven-year-old child who enters the bathroom on Friday night, and when leaving, unintentionally turns off the light? Some would say to him: "Moishi, it's not so bad... next time try to remember it's Shabbat." Some would get angry: "How could you turn off the light on Shabbat?!" And some would look the other way.
But there are parents who would come to the child and say: "Moishi, listen. Even Daniel gave advice to Nevuchadnezzar: to redeem his sin with tzedakah ( בְּ צִ דְ קָ ה פְ רֻ ק וַחֲ טָ אָ ך). After Shabbat ends, open your wallet, take out a shekel, and give it to the community fund. But now, because you turned off the light unintentionally, come and let's say a perek of Tehillim for kapparah." And that's how the matter is closed!
That same Shabbat afternoon, the parents go for a rest – since ש'ינה ב'שבת ת'ענוג – and Moishi goes down to the garden to play with his sister and friends. That Shabbat was very rainy, and as is the way of children, they ran wild and jumped in puddles and mud. At four o'clock Moishi comes home with his sister as he promised his mother. In the living room stands a new couch that just came out of the factory that week, and Moishi decides to be an astronaut, and with his muddy boots he jumps on the new couch! Fifteen minutes later, his mother comes out of her room and sees the marks all over the couch – and what does she do? When it came to desecrating Shabbat, the mother told the child: "Put a shekel in the tzedakah box – everything is fine!" But if he dirties the new couch? None other than Ma’amad Har Sinai erupts in the house! קֹלֹת וּבְרָ קִ ים וְעָנָן כָּבֵד עַל הָהָר וְקֹל שׁ ֹפָר חָזָק מְאֹד – Loud voices and lightning and a thick cloud on the mountain and the sound of a very loud shofar! She scolds him, “Are you normal?! Did you go crazy?! How can you do this?! I just invested 3000 shekel in this couch!!!”
So, what does the child understand? He understands that the couch is more important than Shabbat!
This is what is meant by יְדֵי נָשִׁים רַ חֲמָנִי – The hands of merciful women – those who have mercy on their child who turned off the electricity on Shabbat – "he didn't know... he's small... he has no understanding..." – everything is fine, until he jumps on the couch. Suddenly the whole attitude changes. In this she shows the child that spirituality can be set aside, and materialism is the central and more important thing. If you scream about the couch and stay silent about desecrating Shabbat, in this you show the child that the couch is more important than the honor of Shabbat!
The Shelah HaKadosh writes – and since it is the nature of women to be tender, therefore the obligation falls upon women to wear the garments of a man, meaning to be a strong-hearted warrior to reprimand with the rod of discipline, and even if he cries and screams, not to listen to him, until he turns from the evil way and walks in the good and straight way. And by way of hint, it is said יְדֵי נָשִׁים רַ חֲמָנִי – meaning, those women who have mercy on their children so as not to reprimand them – they cook them, meaning they ruin and destroy them.
The Maor Shebatorah comes and stands on the power that women have in raising children. The Mishna says (Avot 2:8): חֲמִשָּׁה תַלְמִידִ ים הָיוּ לוֹ לְרַ בָּן יוֹחָנָן בֶּן זַכַּאי, וְאֵלּ וּ הֵן, רַ בִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר בֶּ ן הוֹרְ קְ נוֹס, וְ רַ בִּ י יְהוֹשׁ ֻ עַ בֶּ ן חֲנַנְיָה, וְ רַ בִּ י יוֹסֵ י הַ כּ ֹהֵ ן, וְ רַ בִּ י שׁ ִ מְ עוֹן בֶּ ן נְתַנְאֵל, וְרַ בִּי אֶלְעָזָר בֶּן עֲרָ ך. הוּא הָיָה מוֹנֶה שִׁבְחָן. רַ בִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר בֶּן הוֹרְ קְנוֹס, בּוֹר סוּד שׁ ֶאֵינוֹ מְאַבֵּד טִפָּה. רַ בִּי יְהוֹשׁ ֻעַ בֶּן חֲנַנְיָה, אַשְׁרֵ י יוֹלַדְ תּ וֹ.
Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai had five students, and these are they: Rabbi Eliezer ben Horkenus, Rabbi Yehoshua ben Chananya, Rabbi Yose the Kohen, Rabbi Shimon ben Netanel, and Rabbi Elazar ben Arach. He would recount their praises. Rabbi Eliezer ben Horkenus – a plastered cistern that loses not a drop. Rabbi Yehoshua ben Chananya – fortunate is she who bore him.
