There is a big Yetzer Hara to have massacist tendencies. There is a lust to degrade yourself and decide you’re no good. If you are really working on your Middos, then you will Davka be Dan yourself L'kaf Zechus no matter how bad you are. By working on Middos you need to go extreme, and the person who has a tendency and a subconscious thrill to put himself in the “garbage can” all day, may have a Chiyuv to constantly consider himself a Rash’kebe’hag (Rabban Shel Kol Bnei HaGolah).
Esther was the hero of the Purim story. At first, she didn’t want to sacrifice her life, and Mordechai had to speak sharp words: "וְאַתְּ וּבֵית אָבִיךְ תֹּאבֵדוּן" (and you and your father's house will be lost) to get her to do it. Yet, she eventually said to the Chachomim: "כִּתְבוּנִי לְדוֹרוֹת" inscribe my story for generations. I want to be remembered forever by Gantz Klal Yisroel!
