Rav Avigdor Miller ZT"L
Part I. The Road of Wanting
In Mesichta Makkos daf yud, amud beis, the Gemara states as follows: ןƒמ יםƒבּו ̇¿ּכַה ןƒמּו יםƒ‡יƒב¿ּנַה ןƒמּו הָרֹוּ ַ̇ה – The Sages tell us that there’s a certain principle which is written in the Torah and repeated in the books of the Nevi’im and then restated again in the books of the Kesuvim. And the principle is as follows: ֹו ֹ̇ו‡ יןƒיכƒלֹמו ̇∆כ∆לָל ה∆ˆֹרו םָ„ָ‡∆ׁ ̆¿ך∆ר∆ּ„ַּב – In the way in which a man chooses to go, they lead him. It means that min haShamayim they lead you.
הָרֹוּ ַ̇ה ןƒמ – First he cites an instance from the Torah, from this week’s sedrah, as a proof. It’s written that when Bilaam was solicited by Balak to come and prophesy for him a curse against the Bnei Yisroel, so at first Bilaam refused. Hakadosh Baruch Hu spoke to him and He said, “ם∆הָּמƒע¿ך≈ל≈ ̇ ‡ֹל – You should not go with them.”
But afterwards, when they came again, and this time when they importuned him they made big offerings of wealth to him, so Hashem spoke to Bilaam a second time and He said, “םָּ ̇ƒ‡¿ך≈ל םּו ̃ – Arise and go with them.” Which means that after Bilaam had weakened – although outwardly Bilaam still maintained his previous position that he wouldn’t go but inwardly he weakened – so Hakadosh Baruch Hu said, “Okay, be my guest. If you wish, go ahead.” And Bilaam saddled his donkey and he went trotting along towards his destruction. The end was that Bilaam was destroyed.
Many Repetitions
And that, Rav Huna says, is a teaching for us. יןƒיכƒלֹמו ̇∆כ∆לָל ה∆ˆֹרו םָ„ָ‡∆ׁ ̆¿ך∆ר∆ּ„ַּבֹו ֹ̇ו‡ – If a person is going to aim in a certain direction, then things will happen to help him get there. It doesn’t mean a prophecy will come to you at night—you have to be a big person for that—but something is going to happen to lead you in the path you choose. Good direction, bad direction, whatever direction you choose to walk on, you have to know that you’ll be helped along.
Now, this is such an important principle that our great teachers weren’t satisfied with merely one example. They took the trouble to show that it’s reiterated; not only is it in the Torah but it’s in the Nevi’im and Kesuvim too. יםƒ‡יƒב¿ּנַה ןƒמ – From the Nevi’im we see this principle from a verse in Yeshaya (48:17): ילƒעֹהו¿לָך¿„∆ּמַל¿מָיך∆ ֹ̃ל¡‡ 'ה יƒנֲ‡ – I, Hashem, teach for your benefit, ¿ך∆ר∆ּ„ַּבָך¿יכƒר¿„ַמ¿ך≈ל≈ּ ̇ – I lead you in the way that you walk. It means in the way that you choose to walk, that’s the way I’m going to lead you. If you seek, you’ll find it.
And from the Kesuvim too (Mishlei 3:34): ıיƒלָי ‡ּהו יםƒˆ≈ּלַל םƒ‡ – If one wishes to be among the scoffers, so Hakadosh Baruch Hu will help you be a scoffer, ן≈ח ן≈ּ ̇ƒי יםƒוָנֲﬠַל¿ו – And if you wish to be among the humble ones so Hakadosh Baruch Hu will give you the favor that the humble find in the eyes of people. If you desire humility, then you’re going to be blessed with that quality. If you’re looking to be a talmid chochom, you’ll find places. You’ll find rebbeim and seforim. And it’s surprising how much success you’ll have in getting where you want to go.
All Types of Synagogues
And on the contrary, if you want to be one of the kibbitzers, you like to be a wise-guy, so Hakadosh Baruch Hu is going to give you opportunities. He’ll give you comrades of like-character. You know what’s going to happen? When you look for a synagogue in your neighborhood you’ll choose just the right one – a moshav leitzim. There are plenty of synagogues like that, places where if you walk in before they begin praying in the morning, they’re not talking divrei Torah. Instead they’re sitting around and kibbitzing. All of a sudden there is a burst of laughter. They’re joking and exchanging rechilus, plenty of slander, laughing at tzaddikim, pious people.
Of course there are good synagogues too – you walk in and you’ll find people sitting with seforim. Some are saying Tehillim. Some are saying bakashos. They’re using their time wisely. But if you’re looking for leitzim you’ll find them aplenty. And you’ll be especially successful because Hashem will help you.
In the yeshivas too. You know there are yeshivas or some circles in the yeshiva where everybody means business. They want to learn. They want Torah and yiras Shamayim. Ooh, it’s a pleasure to see such boys. But there are some circles where it’s not so much; they have other less important interests. And if you want to find it you’ll be surprised how much success you’ll have in discovering even in the best yeshivas, the little pockets of an underworld. Now this underworld, they won’t make a holdup on you. They won’t hit you on the head with a blackjack but comparatively speaking there's an underworld in yeshivas too! Of course, they’re despised by the good boys. And the rebbes look at them with a watchful eye. But it’s there – there are boys like that. And if you look for them you’d better be careful because Hashem might give you the bum’s rush. He’ll push you right through the door.
You Can Run and Hide...
It’s a Torah principle that you can’t get away from. That’s why if you go way out to the towns outside of Greater New York, you’ll find a lot of Jews who aren’t Jews anymore because of this principle. They ran away from Brownsville to Flatbush and from Flatbush to Las Vegas because it was just too much Judaism for them. So first, Hakadosh Baruch Hu in His mercy tries to rope them in one more time. That’s why the Torah pursues them—they opened up now a mikvah, in one of these far out places in New Jersey. But what do they do when they see that Flatbush is pursuing them and catching up with them? They’re exasperated. “A mikvah out here?! What’s going on here?! Why are there black hatters here?” they say.
So they sell their home again and move further out where they don’t have to be so crowded by the ultra-Orthodox. And Hakadosh Baruch Hu finally gives in and He helps. “If that’s what you’re looking for,” He says to them, “I’m going to help you.” That’s why Dr. Moon came along and so many Jewish boys and girls yielded to his meaningless propaganda. Because Hashem wants to help. You wanted your family to get lost so He’ll find a way for you – even if he has to bring a nobody, a meshugeneh from Korea to do it.
And that’s Hakadosh Baruch Hu’s principle of guiding you in the direction you wish to go. It means that it’s a fundamental system of Hakadosh Baruch Hu in dealing with mankind. You are led in the way you wish to go. If you are looking for what is good, He’ll help you find it. And if you are looking for what’s not good, He’s going to help you find that too.
Prophets and Profits
Now, I want to come back now to our protagonist, to Bilaam, in order study to an important detail in this subject, something we may not have realized on our own. Because I’m convinced that if we were standing there with Bilaam when the emissaries of Balak came back a second time, we wouldn’t have thought anything wrong with what Bilaam did. He opened the door for them - so what? He didn’t say, “Come in. I’ll reconsider my decision and maybe I will be willing to curse the Bnei Yisroel.” No, no. Chas v’shalom! Bilaam would never say such a thing.
You have to know that Bilaam was a great man. A person doesn’t become a navi Hashem for nothing. No matter what the reasons were – some say Bilaam was made great only as a counterbalance to Moshe Rabbeinu, so that the gentile world shouldn’t be able to say, “If we had a big navi like the Jews had, we also would have been something.” But it’s not that simple. Even with this consideration, Bilaam was chosen for that role because he was a great man. He was chosen by Hakadosh Baruch Hu for a special role because he was fit for such a role. And so you can be sure that Bilaam was devoted to Hashem.
When the servants of Balak came back a second time what did Bilaam say? “Even if you’ll give me all the money of the world, I won’t say what Hashem wouldn’t tell me to say.” How many American rabbis giving hespeidim in the funeral parlors can say the same? For a little bit of money they say orations over dead oichlei treifos, over dead mechalelei Shabbos. Plenty of rabbis! I don’t mean real rabbis, but there are people who call themselves rabbis and they make nice orations over people who didn’t keep the Torah. I was at a funeral where the rabbi compared the dead person, someone who lived with a gentile, to tzaddikim in the Tanach. Why? Because there was a big fee.
And here is Bilaam who was going to get a very big fee – “A houseful of silver and gold.” That’s quite a fee! Nobody ever got such a fee for making a eulogy over a dead man. And yet what did Bilaam say? “Even if you give me a houseful of silver and gold, I’m only going to say what Hashem Elokai - Hashem, my G-d, tells me.” You hear that? “Hashem, my G-d.” And so Bilaam was a loyal man.
Only there was one trouble with him. There was something in Bilaam’s attitude that caused his downfall. He was looking for something besides Hashem. He was looking for an opportunity to maybe yes make some money. And maybe some glory too. His eyes were open for opportunities, opportunities for trouble.
A Certain Hankering
So at first Hashem had pity on him. And so when the emissaries of Balak came to him the first time, Hashem said, “Don’t go.” And that should have quenched, that should have extinguished in Bilaam’s heart any thought of money and glory. Hashem said no, finished. And when they came to him a second time, he shouldn’t even have opened the door to them. He should have yelled through the peephole, “Get off my property! Scat! And on the double! And I don’t want to see your faces again!”
Instead Bilaam opened the door. He entertained them. Only he said, “I cannot do it unless Hashem tells me.” But he was looking for that little opportunity, that little crack in the wall to take advantage of - “Maybe if you’ll stay overnight, Hashem will tell me something different and I’ll be able to go with you” (ibid. 19).
“Oh!” Hashem said, “I see what you’re hankering after. I see what you’re looking for. And My principle is that if you’re looking for it—if your mind’s eyes is scouring for opportunities—then I’m going to give you some encouragement. I’m going to lead you.” And that’s why Hashem said, “Go with them.”
Now if Hashem hadn’t said that, Bilaam would have stuck by the first psak, the first decision. Bilaam wouldn’t have changed his mind. “Hashem told me not to go, I’m not going.” Even if they had offered him all the compensation and honor in the world!
But now Hashem saw that he desired it, that he entertained the idea. “Oh,” Hashem said, “That’s enough for Me to apply My principle. םָ„ָ‡∆ׁ ̆¿ך∆ר∆„¿ּב ̇∆כ∆לָל ה∆ˆֹרו – Because you want to go on that way, I’m going to let you go.” And He spoke to him again, a vision of a prophecy and He said, “םָּ ̇ƒ‡¿ך≈ל םּו ̃ – Get up and go with them.” And that was the beginning of the end of Bilaam’s career. That little bit of looking for an opportunity was everything.
