QUESTION: We are Ba’alei Teshuvah (Jews who have returned to observance) and are very close to our parents and siblings who are not observant. We just had a baby last Shabbos, Boruch Hashem. The Bris is scheduled for this coming Shabbos, but we know that our parents and siblings will drive on Shabbos (Heaven forbid) to attend the Bris. We foresee three courses of action:
- A) Have the Bris on Shabbos as planned, even though they will drive on Shabbos to attend.
- B) Delay the Bris to Sunday so there is no Chillul Shabbos (desecration of Shabbos).
- C) Tell our non-observant relatives that the Bris is on Sunday and really do the Bris on Shabbos. Then, have another (fake) Bris ceremony on Sunday that our parents and siblings will attend.
ANSWER: A similar question was posed to Rav Moshe Feinstein ZT”L in Igros Moshe YD Vol. I # 151 where he advises to go with option A above. The Tzitz Eliezer Vol. VI #156 says that while option A is what most Poskim (Halachic authorities) conclude, for Migdar Milsa (as a protective measure to safeguard Shabbos observance in a community (and possibly within one’s own family)) there is also the option to push off the Bris until Sunday – option B above.
Rav Shmuel Fuerst Shlita from Chicago answered that although option C seems interesting and might be preferable in theory, historically, we have never done such a thing, and it is not in-keeping with our obligations to be truthful. Accordingly, better to follow option A.
The question was also posed to Rav Shlomo Miller Shlita from Toronto and Lakewood who said that we should not lie. We follow option A as this is the established practice (we do not delay a Bris). However, he adds that in this case, because option A involves causing one’s own parents to desecrate the Shabbos, that a couple that is bothered by this (as they should be) can potentially arrange the following. They can tell the Mohel to say in advance to all the guests that are to come, that if he detects any Chillul Shabbos by anyone driving on Shabbos, he will walk out the door and come back another time to perform the Bris. This may work to dissuade the parents from driving on Shabbos to the Bris and convince them to arrive before Shabbos and sleep over on Friday night.
