Desperate people all over Yehupitsville have borrowed small amounts of money only to discover that they were over their heads in debt. They are victims of Exponential Lending Inc., which charged them outrageous sums of interest. In an exclusive interview, young victim Simmy Simpleton described the loan scheme.
“I borrowed $15 for a kosher pizza with four toppings and crunchy fries, and within a month I start getting bills in the mail for hundreds of dollars. I feel as if I was bitten by a snake. Starts with one tiny bite and then it BLOWS UP...OUCH!”
Mr. Sharkowitz, CEO of Exponential Lending Inc., has been arrested and is awaiting trial before Beis Din. “I’m innocent. I am the victim here,” exclaimed Sharkowitz. “Simmy signed on the dotted line, and the terms on the 54-page contract are crystal clear! What do you want from me?! Is it my fault Sammy can’t read small print? Let him buy a pair of glasses, or better yet a microscope! I’ll lend him the money to get it if he needs...”
