Question: When Shabbat Bereshit comes, I hear repeatedly, “the stance we adopt on Shabbat Bereshit determines the nature of our conduct in the entire year to come.” It’s stressful. If I get upset, if my kids fight or the Shabbat table is not filled with Torah, I become anxious. It takes the joy out of Shabbat. How can I approach it differently?
Answer: On Shabbat Bereshit we read the account of creation. Chassidus teaches, not only did Hashem create the world in six days, but He constantly renews creation every moment and directs every element of existence—from a leaf falling into a river to a person winning the lottery. While this concept may seem lofty, it has important practical applications, as illustrated by the following story:
A wealthy man asked his Rebbe for advice on overcoming his anger. The Rebbe did not respond, but after the man left, instructed his helper not to give him maftir on Shabbat. The helper shuddered. The man always received maftir when he visited and would be furious. So the helper decided to warn him. As expected, on Shabbat someone else was given maftir, but the man remained calm. On Sunday morning, the Rebbe told him, “from what I saw on Shabbat, you do not have an anger problem.” The man explained, “that’s because I knew you had said not to give me maftir.” The Rebbe responded, “if you would realize that everything is from Hashem, and is for your good, you would also not get angry.”
The saying, “the stance we adopt on Shabbat Bereshit...” does not mean our Shabbat must be perfect. The children may fight and the Shabbat table might not be as we hoped. Yet, our aim is to internalize that Hashem is intimately involved in our lives, guiding our steps and caring for each of us. All is from Hashem.
But what about when we fall? Chassidus teaches that a descent is for the purpose of a greater ascent. Growth does not mean never having a difficult moment. It means learning not to define ourselves by that moment. We notice what happened, pick ourselves up and choose how to respond next.
Shabbat Bereshit provides an opportunity to deepen our awareness of Hashem in our lives. The more we “adopt this stance” on Shabbat Bereshit, the easier it will be to adopt this stance in the coming year. The goal is not a year without falls, but a year in which we know that Hashem is with us—and that when we fall, we can get back up.
Aharon Schmidt, marriage and personal coaching: www.aharonschmidt.com