Defining Good and Bad
When we receive good things from Hashem, we say the brachah הטוב ...'ה אתה ברוך והמטיב, and when something unfortunate happens, the brachah is האמת דיין. Chazal say that both brachos should be recited with the same amount of joy.
The Rambam (Pirush HaMishnayos, Brachos 9) explains: "This concept is understood to the wise... There are many things that, at first, we think are bad, and end up being very good. And there are many things that we perceive as good and turn out to be very negative in the end. Therefore, a wise person shouldn't have tzaar when a great tzarah comes... because you don't know what will come of it. Also, don't be too happy when something (you think is) good happens to you because you don't know what will result from it."
Many years ago, there was an old Yid who would always say "Who says...?" When he heard about a bitter situation, he would say, "Who says this is bad? Maybe it is good?" Also, when people told him about something good and happy that occurred, he would say, "Who says this is good? Maybe it is bad?"
This old man owned one horse and had parnassah from it (travels and deliveries). Once, early in the morning, his horse ran away and no one was able to find it, and the Yid was left without any source of income. That day, this elderly Yid stayed at home. Why should he go outside if his horse wasn't around to give people rides and deliveries? Everyone in his town came to visit him, to console him of his lost horse, and for the loss of his source of income. They pitied him for suddenly becoming a poor man. The old man replied with his standard line, "Who says this is bad? Perhaps it is good?" The people of his town thought, "Nebach. He is so confused, due to his tzaros. He obviously lost his mind and can't reason. He thinks that what occurred to him might be good!
Meanwhile, his horse was frolicking deep in the forest with his newfound friends – other horses who roamed freely, without responsibilities to an owner. The horse was happy with his new friends who had a heart for freedom like himself, but his happiness wasn't for long. A few hours later, the horse became hungry, his stomach was churning for food. It realized that his new friends weren't going to give him even a drop of food. The horse decided it was time to return to its home, to the barn owned by the elderly Yid. When the horse returned, it didn't come by itself. Its friends came along because the horse told them about the good meals he received daily at his master's home.
The entire town was shocked when they watched the horse return, together with four or five other horses! They then realized that the old Yid was correct when he said, "Who says it is bad? Perhaps it is good?" and they went to tell him how correct he was, and how good it was that he had lost his horse for that short time. Now he had many more horses! His assets increased four times!
When they spoke with him about the good news, the elderly Yid responded with his standard stanza: "Who says that this is good? Perhaps it is bad?"
The people of his town whispered amongst themselves that the old man must have been severely traumatized when he lost his horse. So much so that he wasn't able to recognize when something good happened to him.
Soon afterward, this old man's youngest son, a seventeen-year-old bachur, took a ride on one of the new horses. The bachur figured that since there were so many horses, he could ride on another horse every day. After riding on it for some time, the horse, accustomed to its freedom, not to having people ride on its back – stood up on its hind legs and tossed the bachur off. The bachur fell and broke both of his legs.
The townspeople brought the boy to the hospital. His legs were bandaged and placed in a cast, and then he returned home, where he had to stay for a long time, lying in bed. Everyone in the city came to visit him, and they cried over the terrible episode that occurred. They said to the old father, "You were correct when you said, 'Who says finding the horses is good? Perhaps it is bad.' Now we see that you were right. It was indeed bad. Look at what happened to your son due to the many horses that came to your home!"
The old man replied, "Who says that this is bad? Maybe it is good." The people of the city nodded their heads with pity. "Nebach" they said. "The tzaros are so heavy on him that his mind has become confused, and he thinks that the tzaros are good for him!"
Two weeks later, Czar Nicolai's army came to their town to draft Jewish boys into the Russian military. Many Jewish lads were tragically taken by force to the army. When they went to the house of the old Yid and they saw his son lying in bed with bandages and casts, they let the bachur stay at home. Some weeks later, the news came from the front that many of the bachurim of their town died from hunger. But this bachur was alive and well. Then everyone saw that the old man was correct when he said, "Who says it is bad [when his son broke his legs]? Maybe it is good?!"
(This mashal was told by Reb Noach Weinberg zt'l, Rosh Yeshiva of Eish HaTorah.)
The lesson is that humans don't know what is good and what is the opposite. Only Hakadosh Baruch Hu knows. Therefore, let us accept with joy whatever Hashem sends our way, even if it seems to be bad now. Let us trust that Hashem always leads us in the best way.
Lessons from Yaakov Avinu
The יעקב ישרש (written by Reb Yaakov Yehudah of Nardizin zt'l, son-in-law of Rebbe Mendel of Vorka zt'l) teaches from Yaakov Avinu's life that when he thought something was bad, it was good, and when he thought something was good it turned out to be bad. Yaakov Avinu escaped from his brother Eisav and came to Lavan's home. He thought it would be good in Lavan's home, but he endured many tzaros there, until he had to escape like a thief. When he traveled away from Lavan, he thought he would have tzaros meeting up with Eisav, but Eisav surprisingly kissed him and spoke kindly with him. So, when he thought it was good, it was the opposite; when he thought things were bad, they ended up being good.
Similarly, when Yaakov Avinu came to Shechem, it states (Bereishis 33:18) העיר פני את ויחן, and the Midrash states that he gave gifts to the people of the city and he sold them things for cheap because he wanted to befriend the people of Shechem. He thought good times had arrived, but then he soon suffered the tragedy that occurred with his daughter, "דינה צרת."
It also states יעקב וישב, and Rashi explains that he wanted to live in peace and then he suffered with the loss of Yosef, "יוסף צרת."
Yaakov learned from these episodes that when one thinks matters are good, it might be the opposite, and when one thinks matters are bad, it might be good. All one can do is trust in Hashem that He will lead us in a good way.
When Yaakov had to go down to Mitzrayim, Yaakov Avinu knew that this was the beginning of the galus and slavery, as Hashem had told him in the Bris ben Habesarim (Bereishis 15:13), ארבע אותם וענו ועבדום שנה מאות, "They will enslave them and oppress them, for four hundred years," Nevertheless, he accepted the din, and he went willingly to Mitzrayim. He knew that although it appeared bad, it was really good.
Indeed, the nation increased immensely in Mitzrayim, as it states (Shemos 1:12) ירבה כן, "so did they multiply." Also, Chazal (Shabbos 89:) tell us that if Yaakov didn't go down to Mitzrayim, he would have descended to the land tied in iron chains.
יעקב ישרש concludes that the Torah tells us about this because it is a lesson for everyone. "A Yid shouldn't seek tricks and strategies on how to make life good for himself... He should trust in Hashem alone, and be batel to Him entirely. As it states (Tehillim 55:23) השלך יכלכלך והוא יהבך 'ה על, 'Cast your burden on Hashem, and He will sustain you,' and with this attitude, he will have his salvation."
