Many commentaries ask why, when Moshe Rabbeinu is told to go to Pharaoh’s palace, Hashem says “come to Pharaoh” and not “go” to him. The answer provided by the Kotzker Rebbe zy”a is that one never leaves Hashem’s presence; the entire universe is full of His glory and wherever a Yid goes, Hashem is there with him.
This is true not only regarding where we are, but also regarding what we are doing at any given moment — because we are in Hashem’s presence no matter what we are engaged in. Anything we do can be elevated as a mitzvah if we have the right kavannah, to do ratzon Hashem. Intention is such a big part of determining whether what we do is right that even something that is ostensibly a mitzvah but is done without the right kavannah (or worse, with the wrong kavannah) could be considered an aveirah.
A person can eat and drink in order to serve Hashem and his eating and drinking become mitzvos. A person can also serve his parent delicious food but with a sour expression on his face and while making unpleasant remarks, and his “kibbud av va’eim” becomes an aveirah, as the Gemara explains. This is what makes Yiddishkeit unique; everything depends on kavannah, on having the right intentions. It’s not only what you do that counts; it’s why and how as well.
Similarly, even when doing mitzvos, we must take great care that they should not come at others’ expense. If you want to help your neighbor, fine — but check first with your wife to make sure she’s also fine with it. If you want to do a chessed for a local gemach, no problem — but first make sure that your husband doesn’t suffer for it. Whenever you’re considering doing something, remember to take the broader picture into account.
“Bo el Paroh” means finding Hashem everywhere, even in areas where you weren’t expecting to find mitzvos and ma’asim tovim. It also means making sure you are really finding Him there — by ensuring His will is being carried out correctly. When your aim is to enhance your shalom bayis and bring Hashem’s presence into your home, that is truly a fulfillment of “Bo el Paroh” wherever you are and in whatever you do.
