Why did Eliezer Eved Avraham ask for a woman who is extreme in the Midda of Chesed. What about Tz'niyus?
And indeed, the first thing the Torah says about her is her Tz'niyus (הָּﬠָדְי אֹל שׁיִאְו הָלוּתְבּ זט דכ); we see the paramount importance of Tz'niyus. There are two types of people that R' Desler Zatzal speaks about: A וֹנ ֵת ן and a וֹנ ֵט . לA giver and a taker. We can suggest that a “’taker” is a type of person who is also a Baal Ta'ava, since he is always taking and desiring what gives him pleasure.
A giver, on the other hand, is a person who cares about others, and his thrill in life is to make other people happy. He isn’t worried about himself, and: ְמ ֵמ ָליא therefore he isn’t involved in Ta'avos. Perhaps this is the reason why Hashem is: הָמִּז אֵנוֹשׂ (abhors immorality), since Hashem doesn’t need anything and He is total Chesed, like it says: הֶנָבִּי דֶסֶח םָלוֹע ג טפ םילהת Hashem created the world in order to give Chesed. A human being has to emulate Hashem, and try to be a giver.
Gezel & Arayos Are Forms of Being A “Taker” Who Is Removed from Hashem
Bilam’s name comes from the word: ְבּ ִל ָﬠי ה swallowing; i.e., he looks for taking from others. This is why he was a major Rodef Kavod, and he caused the Yidden to have tremendous Ta'ava in order to estrange them from Hashem, since he knew that: ˄ֱא ֵקאוּה הָמִּז אֵנוֹשׂ ,וּלֵּא לֶשׁ םֶהי סנהדרין קו א Hashem abhors immorality. By getting Klal Yisroel to be involved in Z’nus, they were removed from Hashem; and they had a: ַמ ֵג ָפי ה plague. Eliezer added that the girl has to want to give more than asked for: בָאְשֶׁא ˃יֶלַּמְגִל םַגְו דכ מד I will schlep water for your camels as well. Indeed, we do see Baalei Chesed who have Ta'avos. But perhaps a person has to love Chesed so much, that he wants to do more than he’s asked for.
This is exactly the way of Hashem, who created a world on His own, and without being asked. And He created people who never asked to be created. But in His love for Chesed, Hashem gave them mouths and teeth and stomachs and taste buds; just to do Chesed. A person like this is indeed distracted from himself, and he’s “starving” to help others. This is exactly Avraham Avinu, who desired to help people, even though it was a hot day with no people around.
A person doesn’t realize that: לֵטוֹנ ןֵתוֹנַה לָכּ when you give others, you are actually receiving (Alter of Novardok) since it gives you tremendous Simcha. People who are heavily involved in Klal work thrive. They have no self-esteem problems, and their Simcha level is super. They are the real Tzelem Elokim, i.e., who emulate Hashem.
This was the Tzara of Dor HaMabul who were Nichshal in Gezel & Arayos. Gezel means taking unjustly, and so is Arayos taking unjustly. Eliezer knew that Rivka was a Tz'nua by her extreme involvement in Chesed.
The More a Person Makes Hashem an Ikar in His Life, The More Success He Is Heading For
Notice how Eliezer goes straight to Hashem for a Shidduch. No Shadchan, no Hishtadlus; straight to the Shoresh of all Hatzlachos. And look what Mazal! Immediately Rivka appears! Halevai we would realize that the best address for all our needs is the Shoresh (root) for all our Hatzlachos; i.e., the: בּ וֹ אֵרעםָלוֹ Creator of the world Himself. The more a person makes Hashem an Ikar in his life, the more success he is in for!
The Chovos Halvavos says that a Tzaddik told his Talmidim that he’s happy that they do Aveiros, since it humiliates them. If they wouldn’t have Aveiros, then they’d be Baalei Ga’ava, which is worse than all sins. Why is Ga’ava worse than all sins? Because despite all of a person’s Mitzvos and Tzidkus, if he is a Baal Ga’ava, then he holds from himself, which is a form of Avoda Zara.
Only Hashem Gets Credit for Your Very Existence and For All Your Hatzlachos
Believing in Avoda Zara means that you don’t chap that only Hashem gets credit for your very existence and for all your Hatzlachos. Avoda Zara causes a person to lose everything, since basic Emuna is missing! How important it is to work on Emuna and Bitachon, since you are Zoche to Ikar Ikarim! Imagine, despite your many sins (Chas V'shalom), believing in Hashem makes you great!
Here we have a big Masmid and Tzaddik and M’dakdek B’mitzvos, a sweet, popular Baal Chesed and Marbitz Torah! Yet, a zero lowlife Am HaAretz can be much greater than him if he has a drop more Emuna and Bitachon. (Of course, avoiding Aveiros is paramount, and don’t look for trouble!)
