Disregard those who say “take what you can get”; A shidduch means to set up Jewish Home, with G-d’s assistance; Look for a person with a good inner core and forgo external things
By the Grace of G-d
19th of Iyar, 5715
Brooklyn, N.Y.
Miss . . .
Blessing and Greeting:
I received your letter of April 17th, in which you describe your history, dwelling on your limp and wondering whether it might affect your chances of a suitable Shidduch.
Needless to say, you are quite right in disregarding the ill advice of “take what you can get.” It is contrary even to good reason, and certainly from the point of view of our Torah, Toras Chayyim, our way of life. The Jewish view of a Shidduch, as expressed in the Sheva-Brochos, is that it is an everlasting edifice; a Jewish home is a Divine sanctuary. The essential thing of a Shidduch is the setting up of a home, where both parties of the marriage can live a life of Torah and Mitzvoth, which alone ensures lasting happiness. It is based on belief and faith in G-d, the Creator of the world, not only 5715 years ago, but constantly gives it existence and supervises it in every detail and takes care of each and every individual. This is the basic principle of our creed.
From the above, the answer to your questions can be clearly deduced. While looking around to select the suitable Shidduch, the first and foremost attention should be given to the inner qualities of the young man, that is to say, those which are essential to the setting up of a true Jewish home; hence external qualities and appearances are absolutely unimportant. Through such an approach, and since marriage is one of the fundamental commandments of the Creator, incumbent upon every Jewish boy and girl, which makes it certain that the possibility for it is also Divinely provided, as otherwise such a commandment would have been unjust and illogical — I am certain that your limp will not be a handicap for a truly suitable Shidduch.
To sum up, limp or no limp, the proper way to go about a Shidduch is to find a young man whose inner core is at it should be, while external aspects are secondary and unimportant, and one is well advised to forego many external things for one inner essential quality. Your conviction of this and your faith in G-d will surely hasten the realization of it.
With blessing,
By
