Rivka comes back with Eliezer to meet her future husband Yitzchak, and at the point in time the pasuk says: “And Yitzchak came from having gone to Be’er L’Chai Roi, for he dwelt in the south country” (Bereishis 24:62).
Avraham Avinu had been married to Hagar. At one point, Sorah told him to send Hagar away. Avraham made her leave. But now, after the death of Sorah, Yitzchak went to bring Hagar back.
The Tolner Rebbe, in his inimitable fashion, makes the following observation: Yitzchak is forty years old. He is what we call ‘an eltere bachur‘. Why was he not married yet when he was forty years old? Didn’t he go out? What was he doing? The answer is that Yitzchak was a tzaddik. He was a person who was removed from this world. Yitzchak presumably sat and learned in the yeshiva of Shem and Ever, confident that ‘my father will take care of my shidduch’. My job is to occupy myself in the Service of Hashem. What will be, will be. I leave the matters of shidduchim to the Ribbono Shel Olam and to my father.
If Yitzchak is so removed from matters of this world that the last thing on his mind is finding a shidduch, what is he suddenly doing now? He is trying to find a shidduch—for his father! So, you do know how to drive, or to take the subway, or to travel to New York to find shidduchim! So why don’t you do it for yourself? The answer is that Yitzchak knew that he would be leaving the house. Sorah is no longer here. Avraham Avinu would remain by himself, lonely and with no companion. Yitzchak determined: I need to remedy this situation. It is my responsibility to take charge of this matter.
Regarding me, I can rely on the Ribbono Shel Olam. I can have bitachon. Regarding someone else, I can’t say “The Ribbono Shel Olam will help.”
There is a famous quip attributed to Rav Yisroel Salanter: Regarding yourself, you need to be a ba’al bitachon (someone who has complete faith in the Ribbono Shel Olam); Regarding someone else, you need to be an apikores (a heretic, who denies the Ribbono Shel Olam). Regarding someone else, a person must assume “Hashem will not take care of him”. Ay – that is blasphemy? Regarding someone else, such an attitude is appropriate. My friend is in need. He requires sustenance, a shidduch, or whatever it may be... I need to take care of him. Regarding me, I can sit back and say, “Somehow, it will happen.”
That is why for Avraham’s shidduch, Yitzchak gets involved—he becomes proactive. But for his own shidduch, Yitzchak relies on his bitachon.
R’ Moshe Sternbuch offers another explanation as to why specifically now Yitzchak went out his way to busy himself with finding a shidduch for his father. Yitzchak was forbidden to leave Eretz Yisroel because he had the status of an olah temimah [perfect burnt offering]. Therefore, he could not leave the country to look for a wife for himself, and therefore Avraham was forced to send Eliezer instead. However, Yitzchak wanted to take whatever steps he could on his own to help himself, and so he went to arrange a shidduch for his father, in order to arouse merits in shomayim for a good shidduch for himself. Hashem’s conduct works measure for measure. The effort one expends to help a fellow Jew in a certain area arouses merits in heaven to obtain the same benefit for himself from Hashem.
Yitzchak thereby taught us that if someone wants to find a zivug for himself or his children, he should endeavor to help others find theirs, and thereby obtain merits in heaven to find an appropriate zivug for himself or his children.
