Dear Alumni Sheyichyu!
Sholom U’Brocho! Mazeltov to Shmully Wolf on the occasion of his engagement. Mazeltov to Dovid Goldberg on the occasion of his engagement. May they use out the period of yokor mikol yokor to its’ utmost! Mazeltov to Rabbi and Mrs. Shmaryahu Labkowski (and to the entire family of Yeshivas Lubavitch, Toronto) on the birth and bris of their son Aharon Mordechai. Mazeltov to Rabbi and Mrs. Benyomin Rosenberg on the birth of their daughter. Mazeltov to Rabbi and Mrs. Peretz Mockin on the birth and bris of their son. May they bring him up lTOveCHuMAA”T mitoch harchovo, and to be true chayolim! (If anyone is aware of any mazeltov’s that I omitted please let me know).
Thank you as always for the feedback, it is much appreciated. A very special thank you to Dr. Pinny Young of Buffalo for providing me with the details of the following incredible story, which he heard directly from the daughter of the baalei hamaaseh:
A couple survived the holocaust, and were in a DP camp. There they gave birth to a child, and were trying to rebuild their lives. At one point, the woman began experiencing stomach pains. They visited a German physician who was treating the refugees. He did a thorough checkup, and proclaimed a dire diagnosis: There was a growth in her uterus, that necessitated immediate emergency surgery and removal. The inevitable result would be her inability to bear any additional children.
The woman was devastated by this grim prognosis. They had been so eager to rebuild their lives by having many children and starting a new family. She couldn’t bear the thought of being unable to have any more children, and she sank into a depression. For a while she neglected the matter, and merely took medications, but the pain persisted and increased.
In desperation, they visited another specialist, who confirmed the findings of the first doctor. The woman required surgery, he informed them in no uncertain terms, and additional children were out of the question.
In their quest to find a doctor who would give them hope of a larger family, they eventually found themselves in New York, where they visited a specialist in Mount Sinai Hospital in Manhattan, to whom they had been referred. This doctor, like his predecessors, made a very thorough examination. However, his conclusions were even more ominous. ‘You have delayed too long in attending to this problem’, he told them, ‘it is no longer a matter of having children or not. At this point immediate emergency surgery is needed to try to save the life of the woman, which is now in grave danger.’
Filled with feelings of depression and hopelessness, they stumbled out of the doctors’ office not knowing where to turn next. In the corridors they encountered a chosid, who listened to their worries, and suggested that they seek the help of the Rebbe. Not having any other recourse in any case, they scheduled an appointment, and, late one night, found themselves in yechidus with the Rebbe.
There they related their entire sad story to the Rebbe. The Rebbe asked them for the name of the first doctor who had examined the woman (the German doctor in the DP camp), but they could not recall it. The Rebbe continued to ask them details about their life and experiences, but kept returning to the question of the identity of the first doctor. Finally, the woman recalled his name.
At this point the Rebbe became very grave. “Do you really want to live and have children?” he asked. “Please consider your response carefully. The choice is yours, but the only way to accomplish this will be by performing a chalipin; - by the German doctor taking your place”.
“You don’t have to feel bad about it if this is your decision”, the Rebbe hastened to reassure them, “after what they [the Germans] did to us, they well deserve it”.
The couple asserted that they very much wanted the woman to live and to have more children. The Rebbe gave them his brocho, and they ended the yechidus.
Needless to say, when they returned to the doctors, they were amazed to find not a trace of the earlier problems. And the woman went on to have 5 more children (one of which was the daughter who shared this story with Dr. Young).
I don’t know if the story needs interpretation or elaboration, but I do want to relate another story, that may provide some additional insight:
The tzaddik R’ Meir of Premishlan was once visited by one of the geonim of his time (I believe it was R’ Yosef Shaul Natanson, author of the shoiel umeishiv and many other seforim). During the visit, a woman came in crying that her husband is on his deathbed and is already a גוסס. R’ Meir told her to return home and not to worry, her husband had already risen from bed.
The gaon watched in incredulity. The woman just informed them that her husband is on his deathbed. By what authority can you suggest to her that all is fine? What kind of hocus pocus is this?!
Shortly thereafter the woman returned joyfully, filled with thanks and blessings for the tzaddik, for the miracle that he had performed for her. The gaon watched all this with astonishment and newfound respect. There was something to this after all! As soon as the woman left, he asked R’ Meir how he had done that.
R’ Meir’l said to him: “I will explain to you what took place here, if you will first answer the question I will ask you in Torah: The Mishna relates that R’ Chanina ben Dosa would daven for sick people, and would then proclaim ‘this one will live, and this one will die’. He was asked: ‘how do you know?’ He explained: ‘If my davening goes well, then I know that it was accepted (and the person for whom I am davening will recover). But if my davening does not go well, then I know that it is rejected’ (and the ill person will not survive).
There seems to be an obvious question here. If R’ Chanina ben Dosa saw that his davening went well, then we can understand his eagerness to reassure the people with the good news that the ill person would recover. But in the case in which his davening did not go well, what point could there be in his declaring that ‘this person will die’? If he has no good news to share, let him not say anything?”
The gaon was stumped by the question, which he conceded was indeed very puzzling.
R’ Meir’l explained: “Sometimes there is a situation in which a tzaddik sees that the person for whom he is davening has a very severe decree against him that can’t be undone. In such cases, it can be that the only recourse for the tzaddik to save the individual is by transferring the evil decree to some other wicked person who is more deserving of it”. [This was what R’ Chanina be Dosa was saying: “This one will live, (because and as a result of the fact that) this other one will die”].
These stories may help clarify a story in the Parsha of this week. When Eliezer came to the home of Lovon and Besuel, after he completed his monologue, we find Besuel conspicuously absent from the remainder of the story. From there on it was Lovon and Mrs. Besuel who were carrying on with the negotiations. Rashi tells us that Besuel had evil designs, and he was eliminated.
We all know from cheder that what actually happened was that Besuel had poisoned Eliezer’s food, and during Eliezer’s speech the malach came and switched the portions (this comes from the sifsei chachomim on the Rashi (who says about it מצאתי), and midrash secheltov and other meforshim).
Which seems to raise a question: Hashem is running the world, after all. If Eliezer is not meant to die, then nothing anyone does could harm him. Likewise, if Besuel deserves to die, then his death should be independent of Eliezer being saved. Why in the story do their destinies become intertwined and interdependent? Why the switching of the plates? If there was no one to switch with, wouldn’t everyone’s destiny happen in any case? Was the malach looking for a shortcut to kill two birds with one stone (was he, maybe, in a hurry to some other appointment, and wanted, therefore, to somehow rush this job)?
Perhaps (at least al derech hatzachus) this story in our Parsha is an even earlier source to the idea contained in the above two stories.
For, the poison contained in Eliezer’s food, and the danger it posed to him, was reflective of a Heavenly decree against him (which was the only cause that could have made possible a physical danger to him down here). I don’t want to chas veshalom start up with Eliezer, eved Avrohom, who was the hero of our Parsha, but he was after all not a tzaddik (Avrohom referred to him, very bluntly, as an arur. and at the end of this week’s sedra he was accused of some serious offences by Yitzchok ואין אדם נחשד אא"כ וכו'). Most importantly, we know that השטן מקטרג בשעת הסכנה and what greater shaashasakonoh could there be then entering directly into the lion’s den, the place of such wonderful comrades as Lovon and Besuel? Any faults that Eliezer possessed would have been magnified at such a time.
It stands to reason that in such a dangerous circumstance, any decree against Eliezer would be very severe and very difficult to undo. Perhaps for that reason the malach in the Parsha, like the tzaddikim in the two stories, saw that the only way to save him was by transferring the decree to someone much more worthy and deserving (of it) than him; - Besuel!
The main thing is for us to figure out how to incorporate all of this into our avodas Hashem, and I think that that too is quite simple. We all deal sometimes, within our own lives and avodas Hashem, with “evil decrees” that seem as if they can’t be undone, as if they are insurmountable.
Sometimes it is a laziness that suddenly afflicts us when we are meant to be learning or davening, a negative trait that we feel as if we can’t remove or undo. In other cases it may be a dependency on our gadgets (whether phones or pods or pads) למיניהם that we can’t seem to rid ourselves of (which is the real poison in our plate, that is endangering ourselves and our families and everything that is precious to us). With still others, we may be plagued with a terrible lack of confidence and pessimistic outlooks regarding our spiritual achievements. And so on.
In all of these cases, when dealing with seeming unconquerable challenges, the solution may sometimes be the one in the above stories: If you can’t beat it – transfer it.
You sense a laziness and lethargy when it comes to learning and davening that you can’t eliminate altogether? Transfer it! Apply it instead to those activities that you’re not sure about their legitimacy, or that you know you shouldn’t be doing them anyway. And so on. Every trait can have its’ place, we just have to ensure that they are applied to where they truly belong.
[It was said about one of the tzaddikim that he was old and frail and weak, but when it came to davening, suddenly he would be filled with enthusiasm and excitement like a young man. When asked how is able to do this, he explained: “It is written: וקווי'ה יחליפו כח [Those who hope for Hashem will “exchange” their strength]. What is the idea of this exchange? The answer is, sometimes you see people that are full of life, they have strength and stamina, and spend many hours involved with their business. But, when it comes to davening, suddenly they are falling asleep on the siddur. What happened? It is simple! For davening, there was an exchange; - they received my strength, and I received theirs!”]
We need to ensure that all of our characteristics and faculties are properly appropriated. And then we can be sure the Eibishter will do the same with all of the forces in the world, and end the confusion of היינו כחולמים, and bring us Moshiach NOW!
L’chaim! May we each take the strengths that we have and apply them to our learning and davening and avodas Hashem, and channel all of our weaknesses towards our devorim betailim and idle pursuits, and may Hashem channel all of the kochos and revelations in the world to their proper place, and – most importantly – channel to the world the immediate revelation of Moshiach Tzidkeinu TUMYM!!!
Rabbi Akiva Wagner
