Divrei Torah for the Shabbos Table
Why We Learn How to Perform Kiddushin from Ephron
אך אם אתה לו שמעני נתתי כסף השדה קח ממני ואקברה את מתי שמה “However, if you will listen to me, take the money from me and let me bury my dead there.” (Bereishis 23:13)
After Avraham eulogizes Sarah and mourns her loss, he buys land so he can bury her. The Mishnah (Kiddushin 2a) teaches that one of the three methods by which a woman can perform kiddushin is by giving her money. The Gemara derives this from the shared use of the word קח – acquire – in the Torah’s discussion of marriage and Avraham’s purchase of Sarah’s burial plot.
Just as the phrase קח ממני - take the money from me – that Avraham said to Ephron refers to obtaining an item through the transfer of cash, so too the mitzvah of marriage, which is described as (Devarim 24:1): כי יקח איש אשה - when a man takes a woman – can also be performed by giving money to a woman. Why does the Torah specifically use the narrative of Avraham’s efforts to acquire a burial plot for Sarah to teach us this law about kiddushin?
The Bobover Rebbe points out that when Ephron sold the land containing Me’aras Hamachpela to Avraham, he was convinced he was making the bargain of the century. In exchange for a rocky field, he was receiving top dollar and was certain that he was shrewdly taking advantage of the buyer’s naivete. At the same time, Avraham recognized that this was no ordinary field. He knew it contained the cave where Adam and Chava were buried and possessed tremendous kedusha. Even though Avraham paid 400 silver shekels for the land, he understood that he was the one who was getting the deal of a lifetime.
Rav Halberstam explains that this transaction, in which each party staunchly believed that he was coming out ahead, is the ideal paradigm for marriage. The Torah specifically connects the laws of kiddushin to Avraham’s purchase of Ephron’s field to hint to us that as a chosan and kallah prepare to spend the rest of their lives together, each of them should be so focused on the positive qualities of the other that s/he is certain that s/he is getting the better end of the deal. (R’ Ozer Alport)
