The first connection between Parshas Chukas, Parshas Balak and the upcoming special Chasuna is the feeling of love. Love? you may ask. Where is love mentioned in Parshas Chukas and Balak? The answer lies in defining the term ‘love’ or in Loshon Hakodesh אהבה. There are two important definitions to the term. In one of the lessons of Rav Dessler Z”l’s we learn that the word ‘love’ means ‘to give’ and that when the Grama is discussing the act of giving it uses the term יהב which connects to אהבה. Rav Dessler Z”L explains that the act of giving promotes our love for the other person. When we contribute to another we are infusing part of ourselves into that person. A great example is the natural love we have for our children when investing our physical and emotional efforts.
There is another definition to the term אהבה. This is based on the Rambam who, in defining the mitzva to love Hashem, writes the following: Love is the emotional pleasure one experiences when focusing on ones virtues (translation credited to Rav Noach Weinberg Z”L). This means that love which is experiential is triggered by our choice to focus on one’s merits and not on one’s negatives.
Let’s connect the above to the Parshiyos. We will start with one of my favorite stories for Parshas Balak. The Ohev Yisrael was known for stressing the importance of Ahavas Yisrael. He would point out that every Parsha has in it the mitzva of V'ahavta L'reiacha Kamocha. One day a Chasid came to the Rebbe and said to him, “We’re coming to Parshas Balak. Where do you see anything about loving another person?” The Ahavas Yisrael responded with surprise. “The answer is staring us in the face.” The Chasid didn’t understand and so the Rebbe continued to explain. “The name of the Parsha itself—Balak--is actually an acronym for V'ahavta L'reiacha Kamocha." The Chasid was startled but regained his focus and quickly countered, “No, that’s totally off. The bais is not a vov and the kuf is not a kof so they don’t fit the words Kamocha and V'ahavta." Said the Rebbe: “If you’re going to be so medakdek than you will never fulfill V'ahavta L'reiacha Kamocha." The story is more than just entertaining. The concept is the main ingredient for a healthy and loving relationship. When we choose to identify our spouse, friend, Rav or child with their positive attributes than we are on the right path to growth and positive long-lasting partnerships.
Parshas Chukas begins with Parshas Parah. There is one major lesson that the mysterious mitzva of Parah Aduma signifies: the willingness to sacrifice one’s purify in order to help alleviate someone else’s impurity. An additional message within Parah Aduma itself echoes this theme. The passuk says "Ki adam b'ohel yamus." Chazal expound this passuk to mean that Torah only exists in one who kills himself over it. If we are willing to give up all physical pleasure for Torah than we will merit discovering and internalizing it’s lessons completely. When a person, as the Chovos Halevavos explains, has the middah of knia – humility-- than everything is possible and their spiritually will be elevated.
It’s an honor to be part of the simcha of Kayla and Yechiel. May they always have true love and inspire many others to follow suit.