This inspiring and moving story teaches is about our obligation to always strengthen ourselves in tefillah in every detail in our lives, even for things that seem self-understood. It was related by Harav Yitzchak Silberstein, shlita:
Reb Ezrach Nechmad lost one child on Motzaei Shabbos Parashas Ki Sisa, 18 Adar 5762, in the terrible attack in the Bais Yisrael neighborhood in Yerushalayim. Tragically, a few months later, his second son, who had been mortally wounded in the attack, also passed away.
Eight out of the ten victims of that bloodbath were from the Nechmad family. Two of them were Reb Ezra’s sons, talmidim in Yeshivas Ohr Gaon in Bnei Brak.
A suicide bomber blew himself up in the courtyard near the Machaneh Yisrael guest house. At that time, the extended Nechmad family was preparing to depart from a Shabbos bar mitzvah that the family had celebrated. It was a time when Palestinian terrorists carried out a series of horrific attacks, the worst of which was less than a month later, on Seder night in the Park Hotel in Netanya.
Everyone remembers the pure emunah of the pious grandmother, who that Shabbos celebrated the bar mitzvah of her grandson, and on Motzaei Shabbos accompanied seven of her descendants on their final journey.
At the time, the Nechmad family made a tremendous Kiddush Hashem by accepting their yissurim with love and deeply ingrained emunah. The ways of Hashem are hidden, and no one can know why this family was chosen to be the korbanos to atone for Klal Yisrael, but it is doubtful if another family would have been able to withstand such a difficult nisayon with such grace. The horrific attack left them so shattered that the grandmother said: “If not for the emunah deep inside us, pure emunah that everything Hashem does is for the good – we would have long been broken.”
That same grandmother, who lost five grandsons, a son and a daughter-in-law in one night, was also the one who was mekadesh Shem Shamayim in front of millions when she called out at the heartrending levayah, which was broadcast around the world: “Yehudim, do teshuvah!”
With her call, this righteous woman joined the cry of hundreds and thousands of holy mothers in Am Yisrael whose conduct was a symbol of the emunah that has helped our nation endure through the generations. Emunah and internal recognition in the fact that every question – has an answer, even if it is not known to us, and that we have a great Father on High Who knows better than all of us when it is a “time to dance” and when, R”l, it is a “time to eulogize.”
The friends of the two Nechmad boys, Reb Ezra’s holy sons, spoke about the wonderful chinuch that they received at home, and about the good middos that characterized everything they did. They were studious and learned diligently, and brought much nachas and pleasure to their rebbeim. The neighbors in the quiet building on Sokolov Street in Rishon Letzion also testified how the boys would always greet them with a friendly greeting; their faces radiated innocent and purity, and they were known to perform chessed with all those around them, especially during bein hazmanim and when they spent time at home.
The consensus among all who spoke about them: “They were mekadesh Shem Shamayim in their lives, as in their deaths.”
“I tried,” Reb Ezra said with tear-filled eyes, and his words sent a tremor to everyone who heard them, “I tried very hard to be mechanech my beloved children the best I could, and baruch Hashem, He gave me the merit to see good results. I made the effort for them in every area, and I merited to see them going into a good yeshivah and advancing in their learning.
“One evening before that last Elul,” the father related, “I was sitting and observing my two sons with satisfaction as they were learning together. At the time I had a memory of all those sweet conversations I had with their rebbeim, teachers and friends about their plans and their success in learning.
“Suddenly, the thought entered my mind that perhaps the time had come to desist a bit in the efforts I was investing in their chinuch, and maybe I could dedicate a bit more time to myself, and stop making my sons the center of my day...
“I wasn’t considering for a moment to neglect their chinuch at all, chalilah. But when you see how things flow smoothly, baruch Hashem, a person might think that perhaps he can ease up on his efforts and relax a bit...
“Despite my thoughts, this never came to be, because I continued being involved in their chinuch and did not neglect it for even a moment, and yet I feel that there was a weakening for me in one area:
“Until then, my sons were at the center of my tefillos, and from that time on, I gave more time for other things that I needed to daven for, and I davened less for my sons. There was a voice inside me that tried to convince me that they needed my tefillah less, because they were already following the right path, learning in good places, and they had a strong desire to acquire more treasures of Torah knowledge. On that last Rosh Hashanah, when I poured my heart out in tefillah for the new year, I thought to myself that I didn’t need to daven for my sons so much, because they were doing so well...
“At that time, I didn’t understand, woe to me that I didn’t understand, how mistaken I was.
“Now, Ribbono shel Olam, I understand! I realize how tremendous is the power of tefillah and how we cannot attain anything without it.” One needs to constantly daven for one’s children, and then keep davening some more, never desist.”
With these piercing words, the bereaved father ended his powerful message, which deeply penetrated the hearts of the listeners.
Ohr Daniel, V’eschanan
Tefillah Without Boundaries or Measure
