The parents tried to engage their young child in conversation to keep him awake, but the child was tired, and his eyes were drooping. So, the child's father took the pillow away from under the child's head and talked to him some more. It was uncomfortable for the child, and this helped him stay awake.
Just when he was about to fall asleep again, the father placed the child on the cold floor. The young child didn't understand why his father was doing this to him.
Even on the floor, the child began falling asleep, so the father hit him. "Why is he hitting me?" the child thought. "Why does he torture me?" But it wasn’t torture, and it wasn't cruel. It was the greatest kindness. It was saving the child's life.
The Dubno Magid explains that one of the purposes of yesurim is to arouse us to do teshuvah. The yesurim are wake-up calls that we should improve our ways. If we don't wake up, the yesurim might become more painful. But it is all Hashem's compassion, so that we don't fall asleep in galus and forget our purpose in life.
Consider another mashal:
A father gets home late at night and finds the front door locked. He knocks on the door and the windows, but the family is fast asleep. One of the windows is slightly open, and a child is sleeping near the window. The father takes a pole and pokes the child. He wants the child to wake up and let him in. The child cries. Soon, the entire household is awake and alarmed. "Who is outside their home, trying to hurt them?" Had they known that the person poking them was their father, who only wanted to come inside to be with them, they would have opened the door. This is hinted at in the words (Shir HaShirim 5:4), החור מן ידו שלח דודי, "My Friend sent His hand through the window..."
Hashem is calling us, and it is always for our good.
Reb Yaakov Galinsky zt'l repeated the following story. He heard it from the rav mentioned in the story:
A group of ten Yidden in Russia were accused of engaging in illegal business. If found guilty, the sentence would be either exile to Siberia or execution. (Most likely, execution, considering the Russian judges' antisemitic leanings.)
After the judges announced their verdict – execution – a high-ranking priest entered the courtroom and said to the prisoners, "I will give you a chance to live. If you convert to Christianity, you will be pardoned. You can return home like nothing happened. Think it over. I will return for your decision in five days."
The Russians knew that when Yidden are together, they strengthen each other in their emunah, so they separated the prisoners, placing them in private cells. Each prisoner was alone, and the priest and others came to them to try to convince them to convert. They stressed that this was the only way they would be saved.
The only Yid allowed to visit the prisoners was the rav of the city. The rav arrived at the jail to see the prisoners. However, the priest was there, waiting for the rav. The priest assumed the rav would be on his side. Wouldn’t he want to save the lives of these men? He asked the rav to convince the men to accept the offer and convert to Christianity r’l. Of course, the rav disregarded the offer and tried to strengthen those poor Jews.
When the fifth day arrived, the rav told the community, "Let's gather and daven for our ten brothers that they remain strong and pass this difficult test. They shouldn't exchange eternal life for life in this fleeting world."
After heart-rending tefillos, the Rav lit nine candles l’iluy nishmos the nine men who certainly chose death over conversion. He didn't light a tenth candle because one of the accused was a young orphan who only had a mother. The rav believed that this young man wouldn't pass the test and leave his mother alone. He also didn't want to distress the poor mother, the widow, with the thought that perhaps her son had been killed.
The mother, watching from the women's section, stood up and announced, "Light a candle for my son, too. I'm certain he will be moser nefesh. It is my only hope that my son should pass this test and remain with his emunah."
The rav lit the tenth candle. Shortly afterward, a shaliach from the court arrived and reported that all ten men were killed al kiddush Hashem.
The mother rejoiced over her son's sacrifice. Everybody watched this woman's joy and understood that her intense love for Hashem was passed down to her son, empowering him to pass this challenging test.
Reb Yankel Galinsky told this story as a lesson in chinuch. When parents display their love for Yiddishkeit, this love will be passed down to the children. Another lesson is the awareness of what is truly important in life. A moment of life in Olam HaBa is more pleasurable than the entire Olam HaZeh.
One Chol HaMoed Succos, Rebbe Shlomo Leib Lenchana zt'l led a tish and he taught his chassidim the following idea: "The entire world isn't worth a krechtz. Our destiny is Olam HaBa, and therefore, even when we lack worldly matters, they are trivial by comparison. We should focus on the goal. This world isn't worth a krechtz."
Just then, a bench collapsed from the weight of the many people standing on it. Some of the chasidim fell and were injured, and the Rebbe was also injured from the incident. The Rebbe emitted a moan from the pain. One of the chassidim asked, "Why is the Rebbe krechtzing? Didn't the Rebbe say this world isn't worth a krechtz?"
The Rebbe replied, "True, the world isn't worth a krechtz, but when it hurts, one krechtzes from pain." The Beis Yisrael of Gur zt'l repeated this story and explained that it is a natural reaction to krechtz and to shout when in pain. But even then, his mind and intellect should remember that this world isn't so important that we should moan over it. Feelings remain feelings, and when one is in pain, he shouts; nevertheless, deep in his heart, he should remember that it is all for the good. When a father brings his son to the dentist, he expects that his son will cry during the treatment. The father isn't upset at his son for crying because it is natural for a child to cry when in pain. But if the son says to his father, "Why did you bring me here? Why are you doing this to me? Don't you care about me?" the father will get upset. The son should trust that everything his father does is for his benefit.
It is Okay to Cry – With a Limit
In parashas Shlach, when talking about the meraglim, the Torah writes (Bamidbar 14:1), ההוא בלילה העם ויבכו קולם את ויתנו העדה כל ותשא, "The entire community raised their voices and shouted, and the people wept on that night." The Torah emphasizes that they raised their voices and shouted. Reb Shlomo Kluger zt'l says that their main aveirah was that they raised their voices.
According to this explanation, their aveirah wasn't that they cried. A person is only human, and it is natural to be concerned and afraid. Their aveirah was that they raised their voices when they cried, which demonstrates yeush, despair. Their aveirah was that they lost all hope. This is also implied in this week's parashah, as it states (1:34), ...ויקצוף דבריכם קול את 'ה וישמע, "Hashem heard the sound of your words, and He became angry..." Hashem was angry with the loud cries, the fact that they had lost hope.
It states (Devarim 14:1-2), לא אלקכיכם 'לה אתם בנים אתה קדוש עם כי למת עיניכם בין קרחה תשימו ולא תתגודדו אלקיך 'לה, "You are children of Hashem, your G-d. You shall neither cut yourselves nor make any baldness between your eyes for the dead. For you are a holy people to Hashem, your G-d..." The Ramban writes, "The pasuk is saying that you are a holy nation, Hashem's chosen nation... It isn't proper for you to cut yourselves or to cause baldness due to death, even if someone died young. [However], the Torah doesn’t forbid crying, because by nature, a person will cry when a loved one leaves or travels a distance, even when alive..."
