(The following is from Mr. Charlie Harary, Torahanytime 5781, R’ Eliezer Parkoff shared this with me)
In thinking about the tragedies of Tisha B’Av, there’s a story that comes to mind as to what I think the tragedy is really about:
One year, I took my family to an amusement park. A bunch of families got together and we all went. And when you have a lot of kids going to an amusement park, they split into two groups: big kids and little kids. The big kids look at all the big rides and all the attractions, and they’re fascinated by the danger. And the little kids are going to be spending the day with Mommy and Daddy going on the little rides.
One of my younger sons, though, started walking with the big kids. He was five, but he thought he was the big kid. And it became very clear that he couldn’t keep on going with them because he was not going on those rides and the older kids don’t want to spend time babysitting him. So I turned to him and said, “Come with Daddy and Mommy; we’re going to go to the kids’ section.” But he showed no sign of following along. Soon enough, though, he realized that I’m really not letting him go and he threw a tantrum, thinking I’m going to give in.
And then it hits me that I got to parent him the way a lot of parents do: if all else fails, what do you do? You bribe them with sugar. “Listen,” I said, “there’s ice cream. We can get you ice cream first.” He looks up, tears evaporating, and he goes, “Ice cream?”
“Yeah,” I said, “let’s go.”
I took my son to the little park on the promise of some sugar.
I think about this story in relation to Tisha B’Av, because one of the greatest tragedies we have today is not just the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash, but that it doesn’t affect us as it should. If we want to be real and honest, there are few people that are actually sad about the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash. It is something that we have conditioned ourselves to. We have gotten used to the fact that we’re living in a world without G-d’s clear presence. We have conditioned ourselves to live in a life without ever seeing the Beis HaMikdash. And so, what we’re okay with now is physical survival. We have enough money and enough food, and our kids are healthy. If there’s basic safety, if my kids can get married, if I can basically survive in this world and then have a little bit of comfort, I’m good. For most of us, our aspirations in life are physical survival and comfort. We don’t think about waiting for a time where G-d could be clearly manifest, or thinking, “Wouldn’t it be amazing if the whole world knew Hashem? And we had a place in Yerushalayim where the whole world went to?” That’s not our way of thinking.
We have become okay with some ice cream. We’re okay going to the little park because along the way there’s a little bit of food and people aren’t killing us for a few years. And our homes are decent and we can eat sushi and other foods that were unavailable years ago. We’re fine with some ice cream. The greatest tragedy, I think, is that we give up the dreams of what life is supposed to be like.
The Nesivos Shalom says that the big destruction is when a Jew realizes that I can live without the Beis HaMikdash. That’s where we are right now. What G-d wants from us is to have big dreams. He wants us to have big aspirations. He wants us to look around right now and go, “I’m not happy with this. I’m not staying in a children’s park. I’m not buying a little bit of physical survival. For years, that was a big deal for me. But am I happy with that anymore? You know what I want right now? I want the whole world to know Your name and bow to You. I want to walk the streets and live in a world of Your clear presence, where I don’t have to guess. I want to see You in my life always.”
That’s what we’re overcoming. That’s Tisha B’Av, because that’s what we have left. What we’re missing to come home is one thing: Yearning. We have to want it before we get it.
The Nesivos Shalom says, “We are worthy of the redemption when we are ready for the redemption.”
We have to want to go to the big park. This Tisha B’Av, we can get our big dreams back, and look at Hashem and say, “Daddy, I want it all. I want You back.” And with that yearning, this will be the end of the golus. “The time has come,” G-d will say, “and I can’t bribe them with ice cream.” And He will take us to the real amusement park, to this world with His presence, with the coming of Moshiach.
