The opening pasuk of Parshas Emor contains a famous redundancy. The pasuk says, “...Emor el haKohanim, bnei Aharon, v’amarta aleihem: L’nefesh lo yeetama b’amav” (Vayikra 21:1). Rashi comments (based on the Gemara in Yevamos 114a) on the apparently superfluous repetition of the words “V’amarta aleihem” (And you shall say to them) following the words “Emor el haKohanim” (Speak to the Kohanim): This teaches that the older Kohanim must warn the younger (pre–Bar Mitzvah) Kohanim.
This is one of three places in Torah She’beksav (the Written Torah) where the Torah requires parents to not let their children conduct themselves in a way that violates Torah prohibitions. The Torah also gives this type of warning by the prohibition against consuming sheratzim (insects) and dam (blood). So there are Biblical prohibitions against a person feeding his child something which is not Kosher and prohibiting a Kohen from allowing his young son to come in contact with tumas mes (human corpse impurity). This applies even to children below the age of chinuch (before they are normally taught about mitzvah observance).
Rav Chaim Dov Keller (Rosh Yeshiva in Telshe – Chicago) in his sefer Chidekel, wonders why it is necessary for the Torah to make a special prohibition regarding young Kohanim becoming tameh, over and above the principle taught elsewhere that children should not be fed non-kosher food. Rav Keller suggests that the Torah is teaching us that when we educate our children, it is not only important for us to teach them “You can’t eat this because it is treife and it is terrible for your neshama” but beyond that, it is incumbent upon Jewish parents to educate their children to the fact that they possess within themselves a spiritually pristine essence, which must be maintained. For example, even though it might be okay for everyone else to play baseball on a cemetery lot, you are a Kohen and you cannot do that. Why? It is because you are different. You are special.
The obligation of chinuch extends not only to ensuring that youngsters do not commit egregious aveiros, but it is also important to impress upon them that they are different, for example if they have a certain spiritual stature above that of their friends and acquaintances. Perhaps those of us who are not Kohanim need to worry less about this type of chinuch, but all parents have plenty of situations where they must educate their children that they are Jewish and they are different. Our children must recognize that some things they see their peers doing do not apply to them.
It can get really tough when even among our own communities, different parents have different standards and different approaches. Many a time, a parent needs to say to his child “I am sorry. We are different. We don’t do these things!” Even if the child responds – like every child in the world always says –”but, everyone is doing it!” (which usually turns out to be about 40% of his or her peer group), we need to say: “Yes, ‘everyone’ may be doing it, but we are not everyone! We are different and we have a different standard. We have a higher standard.”
My daughter recently told me about a family in Brooklyn whose parents are very open when it comes to their children. Their daughter was the first person in her class to get a driver’s license. We all know that it is a very big step for parents to let their teenage son or daughter start driving. Even though they allowed their daughter to drive before everyone else in their peer group let their daughters drive, nevertheless, these same parents did not allow their daughter to have a cell phone.
The daughter argued that “Everyone in the class has a cell phone.” I am not here to argue about whether teenagers should have cell phones or not. However, there is a strong argument to be made that cell phones involve risks. This family was very adamant with their daughter: “Sorry. Not you!” Of course, she kicked and screamed, but perhaps one day she will look back and say “My parents were right. I appreciate where they were coming from, because they wanted to raise me differently.”
That is why by tumas Kohanim the Torah teaches that chinuch does not only involve ensuring that your children do not do something horrible (like consuming blood or insects). Chinuch also sometimes involves instilling in them the fact that they are different. Therefore, the Torah is teaching parents not to feel uncomfortable telling their children: “Sorry, maybe everyone else is doing it, but you are not everyone. You are my child. You are a Rosenberg or a Goldberg or a Stein – or whoever you may be – but this is the way we do it.”
