R' Chatzkel Zatzal warned about how Davka during Elul you get a flat tire or other: עֶַּסֶָּק ֶּיםֶּ activities which tear you away from your: קְֶּּב ֶֶּּ עיות regimen and plans in Avodas Hashem. They say that Dwight D. Eisenhauer, the 5-star general who won WWII, remarked that he prepares for a battle with all the minute details of his strategy, and it’s all set and M'sudar, and in the end nothing comes out as planned, and you have an emergency quick thinking plan B to make up as soon as possible.
I heard that Gen. Patton said the same thing, and L'havdil my friend took a course from a top M'sudardik M'chanech, and he had everything all set, and nothing worked out as planned. A person has to respect his plan B (and life is loaded with them!) as if it’s Le'chatchila, especially since it takes כֹחִי וְעֹצֶם יָדִ י (your feeling of accomplishment) out of the picture, and you’re forced into Bitachon in Hashem, since you are so helpless.
R' Yaakov Galinsky Zatzal told me that in Novardok they said that if you get ½ or a third or ¼ of the Ruchaniyus you want, then that’s to be expected and appreciated since you realize how everything is: בְֶּּיֶַּדֶּה'ֶּ in the hands of Hashem, and you’re a zero with no say. Just your trying and your pain and frustration in Avoda are your best: מְ לִ יצ י יוֹשֶ ר Heavenly advocates, despite the fact that you feel you became inferior in Torah, Mussar, Bain Adam La'chaveiro, Kedusha, and in all kinds of Avoda.
STORY
R' Moshe Mordechai Heschel Zatzal was the son of the Alter Kapitchnitzer Rebbe, R' Avraham Yehoshua Heschel Zatzal. He was a diamond jeweler, and was doing terribly despite his father’s daily Brachos. When he told his father about his Matzav, his father told him to keep Chazzering (repeating) that his Hishtadlus is zero, and his Parnasa is totally from Hashem.
He did this for a whole week, and by Erev Shabbos he was nowhere, despite all his Bitachon. The last minute, a Goy found him alone putting away a few diamonds in his safe. Since no one else was there, he made a deal which gave him Parnasa for a full year! How often Hashem tests your Bitachon to see if you'll be Mya'esh, and the last minute comes a Yeshua!
Whatever Hishtadlus you do, be it Parnasa, Refua, relationships, or in Ruchaniyus, keep saying: “It’s all Hashem. I have no Shaychus”. The more you say it, the better service you get.
