The Most Excruciating Pain
The Gemara (Erachin 16b) tells us: What is the worst pain that there is? A person who hasn’t experienced yissurim in forty days! Tzaddikim explained that this is because such a person is so distant from the understanding that Hashem gives him everything. He has no connection. He is so disconnected from feeling dependence on the Ribbono shel Olam. He does whatever he wants, and everything goes his way; he doesn’t need anyone.
Only a person who experiences times when things don’t go his way begins to develop the feeling that he is in the Hands of the Ribbono shel Olam—and this thought builds on itself, and it brings the person tremendous chiyus and pleasure. And this is what Hashem wants us to have: connection and pleasure.
Many people, when thinking about bitachon, become preoccupied with the outcome. “I have bitachon that Hashem will help and do good for me...” and they fill in the blanks on how the story will end, according to their desire. Let go of the outcome! Bitachon means the person feels that his eyes are turned to Hashem alone, and this itself gives birth to the connection we feel with Hashem. “I don’t care at all what the outcome will be. I am enjoying this state of feeling that Hashem is with me. What will happen in the future? I don’t even want to think about it. I’d be ashamed to think about it.”
As we approach Rosh Hashanah—the ultimate day of being in Hashem’s Hands—let us strengthen this feeling of complete reliance within ourselves, and ה' בעזרת we will be showered with blessing in the forthcoming year.
