A Yungerman had been learning in Kollel, and the person who was supporting him was hesitant about continuing. The Yungerman had a terribly nervous disposition, and he had to learn lots of Shaar HaBitachon to keep his sanity. After about six months of learning Inyanei Bitachon, he got a message that his source of financial aid was over. When he heard the news it broke the camel’s back, and he was up all night, wracked with fear and worry.
He went to R' Yitzchok Orlansky Zatzal, who was the last living Talmid of the Alter Zatzal, and he asked him: “What happened to all my Mussar learning?” “Look how weak I became as soon as I was faced with a Nisayon! Turning into a bundle of nerves despite so much investment!” R' Orlansky told him that the Mussar that you learn stays with you forever.
R' Yisroel Salanter Zatzal warns that very often Mussar doesn’t seem to work. But if you keep at it persistently, then slowly but surely you become a new person. Just like you are impressed with Goyish Hashkafos that the people around you are always talking about; the more they praise talents and accomplishments, albeit in Ruchaniyus, it still affects you, and you learn to value “status” vs. the futile efforts of an Oved Hashem who doesn’t seem to be Matzliach and “make it”.
So the way people think can get you good and depressed when they aren’t raving over you; and it can make you a big Baal Ga'ava when you're “Mr. Good Guy” and “Mr. Tzadik” in their “holy” opinion. R' Yaakov Galinsky Zatzal once spoke in BMG and he stressed the importance of any minute piece of Mussar that you learned or heard. Nothing goes lost, whether you realize it or not.
This is why R' Gershon Liebman Zatzal believed that it’s worth learning Mussar all your life about the Chashivus of Mussar, since the more you believe in it, the better it works. It’s a hard job to believe that Kavod is Treife when the whole world (including frum Yidden) is so infatuated with Kavod. When was the last time you heard people praising a broken person since he tries so hard but isn’t Matzliach? This person is precious only by Hashem
R' Moshe Mordechai Heschel Zatzal was the son of the Alter Kapitchnitzer Rebbe, R' Avraham Yehoshua Heschel Zatzal. He was a diamond jeweler, and was doing terribly despite his father’s daily Brachos. When he told his father about his Matzav, his father told him to keep Chazzering (repeating) that his Hishtadlus is zero, and his Parnasa is totally from Hashem.
He did this for a whole week, and by Erev Shabbos he was nowhere, despite all his Bitachon. The last minute, a Goy found him alone putting away a few diamonds in his safe. Since no one else was there, he made a deal which gave him Parnasa for a full year! How often Hashem tests your Bitachon to see if you'll be Mya'esh, and the last minute comes a Yeshua!
Whatever Hishtadlus you do, be it Parnasa, Refua, relationships, or in Ruchaniyus, keep saying: “It’s all Hashem. I have no Shaychus”. The more you say it, the better service you get!
