Part III. Great Humility
A Special Assistance
Now we can better understand what the Gemara (Shabbos 12b) says, ה∆לֹחו ל∆ׁ ̆ יוָ ֹ̇וׁ ֲ̆‡ַר¿מ הָל¿עַמ¿ל הָינƒכ¿ׁ ̆∆ׁ ̆, that the Shechina hovers over the head of a sick man. Our Sages tell us that when a man is lying ill, the presence of Hashem is there. Of course it’s not the Shechina that was in the Beis Hamikdash or the Shechina that they saw in the midbar, but there is some form of His Presence when a man is sick.
Now, I suppose he has to be at least a maamin in the ikrei ha’emunah; I don’t believe if a rasha, a kofer, is sick that any Shechina will come to him. But a kosher Jew, even though he’s not a baal madreigah, at the time of his illness the Shechina hovers over his head.
יָו ׂ ̆∆ר∆ﬠ לַﬠ וּנ∆„ָﬠ¿סƒי 'ה – Hashem is supporting him on his sickbed (Tehillim 41:4). Not merely Hashem’s messengers, the forces of nature. Of course there are forces of nature that heal people. Fever is one of Hakadosh Baruch Hu’s messengers. Fever heals; fever is a great healer, it burns and destroys. It’s a sign that the infection is being combated. There are other processes of healing that Hakadosh Baruch Hu has set up in the body. But there is a separate, special assistance that Hakadosh Baruch Hu gives; וּנ∆„ָﬠ¿סƒ י 'ה - Hashem supports him, יָו ׂ ̆∆ר∆ﬠ לַﬠ - on his bed of pain. The Shechina is there.
Auto Improvement
That’s why there’s a certain din when you’re visiting a sick person. It is a mitzvah to visit someone who is sick, to see what you can do for him. You can cheer him up with consolation, whatever it is. Maybe you can help him with things that he needs. If he is in a hospital, you can bring him kosher food. But suppose he’s lying on a pallet on the floor. It happens sometimes that he’s lying on the floor on a pallet, on a stretcher. So the Gemara says that it’s ossur to sit down on the chair because then you’ll be sitting higher than he is. If you wish to sit, you must sit on the floor alongside him. Why is that? The Gemara says it’s because the Shechina is right there over his head. So how could you sit higher than the Shechina?
Now, that’s a remarkable statement. What did this man do that suddenly he should merit that the Shechina visits him when he becomes ill? What changed now?
The answer is, this man is being improved; the yissurim are making him better. Even if he is not going to study middah k’neggded middah and he won’t ask “נוָל יםƒ ̃ ל¡‡ הָׂ ָ̆ﬠ ̇‡ֹ ז הַמ – What is this Hashem did to me? For what sin am I being punished? הָרֹ ̃¿חַנ¿ו ּינו≈כָר¿„ הָׂ ̆¿ּפ¿חַנ – Let me search out my ways and investigate.” He should say that but even if he doesn’t, still the man is improving.
The Small Millionaire
And the biggest improvement is that he is now humbled; he is humiliated. You cannot be a ba’al ga’avah when you are sick. A sick man is a humble man. A millionaire, when he’s in pain he’s a humble fellow. And that is a tremendous achievement. To be an anav, already means you are coming closer to Hashem.
Now this is not an anav who chose the career of humility; it’s not somebody whose seichel dictated to him the greatness of being humble. It’s not a case where a man thinks, “I am standing lifnei Hashem, in the presence of Hashem, so certainly I must be humble.” No, nothing like that. He is being clubbed over the head! He is humble because he is forced into it. But humility is such a sheleimus, it’s such a perfection that even a man who is forced into it becomes more beloved by Hashem; so beloved that the Shechina is willing now to come down to him and rests above his head.
Now, don’t think you have to wait for it to happen to you chas veshalom. You can learn the lesson anyhow. That’s the best way. Next time you see an ambulance running in the street don't think there's no connection with you. Someone in that car is lying down; he’s being humbled right now. Why should you be any different? Are you any better than him? Probably not. And so if you’ll stop for thirty seconds and think about humbling yourself, you’ve accomplished a great thing today. A little bit, you’ve been humbled. You’ve lived successfully!
Taking Small Doses
Now, once we understand that achievement, the perfection that even a little humility brings to a person, so we have to be mindful always of using even the little things, the small doses of tzaros, the small makkos, to humble ourselves. Because is there such a thing as a person who has everything goes his way? Never! Impossible!
Here’s a man who made plans for something— whatever it is, a trip, a business deal, a shidduch— and it turns out not the way he planned, not the way he wanted. He was careful and he arranged this and that and he tied all the loose ends and then nothing – it all fell apart. What’s that about?
Who’s The Macher?
The Chovos Halevavos in Shaar Habitachon says that Hakadosh Baruch Hu sometimes does that to teach you a lesson. You thought that you are the author of your fate, that you’re in charge here. So although you made a certain arrangement, and you planned, and you hoped that it would turn out a certain way, Hakadosh Baruch Hu says “I’m going to do you a favor and teach you a very valuable lesson; the lesson that I am in charge, not you.”
So instead of being disappointed, you should say, “I thank You, Hashem, for that. It’s worth money, that lesson. I really should have to pay for that lesson. Because otherwise, I was thinking that I’m the boss. I thought I was the whole macher here and now you reminded me that I’m not the macher at all. You’re the Macher, with a capital M.”
You’re getting a valuable lesson—it’s worth a lot of money—and Hakadosh Baruch Hu is not charging you for it, so be happy.
Take Advantage of Your Wife
Another opportunity to learn to be humble: You know, husbands call me up on the phone sometimes and they tell me that their wives are always criticizing them, always putting them down. Now, I’m not saying it’s true—I imagine that if I would speak to her I would hear a different story altogether—but let’s imagine it’s true.
Now, the first thing to understand is that no matter what, a man has to learn to appreciate his wife. This is not the subject but a wise man understands that no matter what, his wife is a gift. She cooks for him. More or less she keeps the house clean. She gives him children. She raises the children and fulfills her duties in the house as a mother and wife. Together they’re bringing up a family and therefore the wise man always appreciates the great benefits of having a wife despite the criticism.
But even when a wife criticizes a husband, you should know that she is doing him a big favor. Outside the house, nobody tells him anything – it’s uncomfortable. And after a while he begins to think, “Maybe I really am great.” So he comes home and right away his wife deflates him. She puts a pin in his balloon and it bursts. That’s a tremendous achievement, a perfection that he won’t acquire outside the home. It’s a shleimus to be put down to size once in a while.
Elkanah’s Purpose
But let’s imagine now that somebody has no trouble. His wife is an angel, a malach min haShamayim who never says a mean word to him. Also he never gets sick and everything he plans, it works out. Nothing ever happens to humble him. Of course it’s impossible, but let’s imagine so for a minute. So what’s he going to do? How does he humble himself in front of Hakadosh Baruch Hu? Listen to this eitzah because everyone should use it.
Everyone knows there was a man named Elkanah, the father of Shmuel Hanavi. Elkanah used to go three times a year to Shilo where the Mishkan was. And it explains there what his purpose was. Why did he go to Shilo? He went to bring offerings? Yes, he did that; absolutely you have to bring offerings when you go to the Sanctuary. He also had to speak to the sons of Eli. It's important to consult with the Sages and therefore three times a year he went up to the central place of the Sages and he spoke to them and he got advice from them. But one of the most important purposes, the Navi says, was lehishtachavos laHashem, to bow down to Hashem. You hear that? That's how important it is. He traveled to Shilo to bow down to Hashem, lehishtachavos.
Now listen to the word hishtachavos. In Hebrew you'll understand it better from the word shach. Shach means low, and hishtachaveh is called reflexive hispael; it's a form of grammar, “to make yourself low.” In lashon kodesh you don't say bow – you say “to make yourself low to Hashem.”
For that alone it was worth going to the Sanctuary. It was worth making a big journey just to fall down on the ground on his face; to feel that he is low before Hashem.
Take Advantage of Prayer
“Oh,” you say, “it's superfluous. I don't have to bow down. I know already that Hashem is bigger than I am.” But that's the human hypocrisy of self- deception; all people are subject to the great temptation of ani v’afsi od, that there's nobody in the universe but me. And unless you take the trouble to work on yourself and to recognize there's Somebody bigger than you are, you’re going to remain very arrogant.
That’s one of the most important functions in our prayers that most people ignore and overlook. You're standing the amidah, you're beginning saying Shemoneh Esrei, so you give a peremptory bow. The bow, you think, that’s not important. It’s just an introduction; the words you’re about to say, “Baruch Atah Hashem” that’s what’s important.
No, you're missing the whole point. The most important thing is the bowing down! The bowing down and acknowledging that there's Somebody higher than you, that’s the most important part. So don't be in a hurry. While you're bowing, take your time and get the full benefit of that. It's a law in the Gemara. You must bow down at the beginning of Shemoneh Esrei because that’s the first lesson. Gaavah is the beginning of all sin, and therefore the first thing is to uproot that arrogance.
And therefore bowing in Shemoneh Esrei, a few times in the beginning, and then by Modim too, is so valuable. It’s so important to prepare beforehand and to make use of that. Because even though with your lips you may say words of pious hypocrisy, “I bow down to You Hashem,” but in your heart you’re bowing down only to yourself. man is so great that he doesn't even back down even before Hashem. That's human nature.
World of Understanding
The Gemara says when a man is arrogant what does Hakadosh Baruch Hu say? He says “‡ הו¿ו יƒנֲ‡ ין≈‡ „ָח∆‡ םָלֹעו¿ ב ר ו‚ָל יםƒלֹכו¿י — This man and I cannot live together in one world.” The universe is too small for both of us. He wants to crowd Me out of the world. If he could, he would swell himself up like a big balloon and fill up the whole space, the whole universe. That's human nature because he's so great, he's endlessly great. And that's why a man must work on himself to be humble to Hashem. It takes work, effort, for a man to learn to be humble towards Hashem.
And so when people will come to the Next World and they'll realize what a benefit it was for them the sufferings they had in this world they’ll be sorry they didn't have more sufferings. They’ll complain, “Why did other people get more opportunities than we did? Why did he have that cold that kept him laid up in bed for almost all winter and me, I was fine? Why did he have those bumps in life that humbled him into perfection, while for me everything was smooth sailing?”
And therefore the wise person learns to make use of all the opportunities that Hashem plans for him. All of the difficulties, he understands that he’s being “hit in the house of his friend – his Best Friend.” And even when the sailing is smooth he never forgets his obligation to lower himself in front of Hashem. He always bows before Hashem and he’s always thinking, “As great as I am, as tremendous as my capabilities and potential are—actually just because of Gadlus Ha’Adam—that’s why I’m always lowering myself in front of You.”
Have A Wonderful Shabbos
