כי יקח איש אשה חדשה לא יצא בצבא ולא יעבר עליו לכל דבר נקי יהיה לביתו שנה אחת ושמח את אשתו אשר לקח (דברים כד, ה)
When a man takes a wife who is new (to him), he must no go out (to war) in the army, and no (military) duty may be imposed upon him; he must remain free for his (own) house for one year and make happy his wife who he has taken.
In Parshas Shoftim, the Chumash lists many that are exempt from going out to war (one who builds a new home, or a new garden, or becomes engaged to marry, etc.). These types are exempt from the army but are required to help fix the roads and provide supplies for the army.
In contrast, the newlywed is completely exempt for the entire first year from any such obligations. The newlywed must engage for the first year in making his new wife happy.
What is the reason behind this mitzvah of making the newlywed wife happy?
- The Chinuch: The main purpose of this mitzvah is to develop love and harmony to his new wife and prevent the man from desiring other women. This complements the mitzvah in the Ten Commandments not to desire the wife of another (and is not applicable to the other category of exemptions for the army).
- Chasam Sofer: During the first year, a newlywed is so drawn after his new wife that he would be completely distracted if involved in a war that he would only be a detriment to the army. To a lesser degree, a person with a new house or a field also is distracted and thus exempt.
- Rabbenu Bachya: All Jewish marriages are a reflection of the wedding bond between HaShem and the Jewish people that was forged at Har Sinai, where the “groom” and “bride” remained together for a year.
- Taamei Mitzvos: A newlywed needs the first year to accustom himself to the ways of a wedded couple, the ways of tahara and kedusha that is obligatory for a wedded couple. Similarly the other category also needs time to understand and practice the laws of a new house (mezuzah, maakeh, etc.) and a new field (maaser, kelayim, etc.).
- Rabbi Shimon Raphael Hirsch: A state of communal peace and lack of animosity is a development from the richness of peace and prosperity of individuals of the community. Thus, a peaceful and contented individual is dependent on the establishment of a successful and prosperous family unit, and to a lesser degree on the success and prosperity of the individual’s material belongings (house and property). Community abilities to establish a just society (court systems, helping the poor, etc.) are dependent on the success and prosperity of the majority of the individuals within the society. Thus, a person with a newlywed wife or a new house or field, needs the extra concentration during the first year to establish these basic units as successful.
How many Mitzvos in the above verse?
- One Mitzvah (Sefer Mitzvos Katan): Positive Mitzvah to rejoice together for one year.
- Two Mitzvos (Saadyah Goan, Chinuch, Rambam): Positive Mitzvah and one negative mitzvah not to go out to war.
- Three Mitzvos (Ramban): Positive Mitzvah and two negative Mitzvos of not going out to war and not leaving one’s spouse for any reason
Allusion: (Rabbenu Gershon) השנ ולבית היהי ינק final letters the four-letter name of HaShem
The verse continues that one should rejoice with one’s spouse. This teaches that the Divine Presence only dwells in the midst of happiness and contentment that results from actions that are for the sake of Heaven.
A dear friend told me about a terrible mistake he made in Shana Rishona. There is a custom that during that first year a husband gets permission from his wife before he goes out – away from home. This fellow was very dutiful and precise about this all during the year. As the sun set on the first year of marriage and “Shana Rishona” was concluding, he stood by the door and declared, “I don’t have to tell you where I’m going now and when I’ll be back.” He coolly left. Of course, he was joking and he was just going out to pray Maariv.
When he came home, he found his wife surrounded by a puddle of tears. She was saying, “You didn’t want to be here with me this whole year!” He called his Rebbe in a panic wondering what he could do to repair the hurt. The Rebbe told him, “You have to do “Shana Rishona” all over again. It’s not a time period. It’s, whenever and however long it takes."
