This week's Parsha, Ki Teitze, contains 74 Mitzvot, and begins with the issue known as א ֵ שׁ ֶ ת י ְ פ ַ ת ־ תּ ֹ א ַ ר:
When you should go to war against your enemies, and Hashem, your G-d, puts them in your hand, and you capture prisoners from them; and you see among the captives a beautiful woman and you desire her and would take her into your household as your wife.
The Torah teaches us that when a person is outside their familiar environment, they are at greater risk. As long as a person is within their private setting – within their home – they are more cautious. There, they have many protective measures surrounding them, such as family, home, and the shul they regularly daven in. However, when a person goes to war, naturally, those protections that surrounded them in their private setting disappear, and thus they are at greater risk. Therefore, the Torah warns us that the Yetzer Hara lurks outside our private environment – it presents itself as a beautiful captive woman and tries to entice you to sin.
The Torah says, know that such marriages will not last. Do not think that such marriages have any hold in reality, and this is why it says וּבָ כְ תָ ה אֶ ת אָ בִ יהָ וְ אֶ ת אִ מָּ הּ יֶרַ ח יָמִ ים ו ְ י ָ שׁ ְ ב ָ ה ב ּ ְ ב ֵ י ת ֶ ך – she will remain in your home and weep for her father and her mother a full month. Rashi explains that the Torah informs you that in the end, you will hate her, and therefore, the connection will not last. Why specifically יֶ רַ ח יָ מִ י ם and not simply ח ֹ דֶ שׁ?
The Chida answers using the context of what is written in a ketubah and get. In a ketubah they write חֹ ו דֶ שׁ as it is written ח ֲ דָ שׁ ָ הַח אִישׁ אִשָּׁה כִּי יִק, whereas in divorce they write יֶרח, as it is written גֶ רֶ ש יְ רָ ח י ם. This is also why here it is written יֶ רַ ח יָ מִ י ם, informing you that in the end, you will hate her.
Of course, the subject of the beautiful captive woman is to be understood literally. Even David HaMelech took a beautiful captive woman – Maachah, the daughter of Talmai, king of Geshur, and from this marriage, Avshalom was born; Avshalom went on to pursue David in an attempt to kill him.
The Gemara (Sanhedrin 107a) discusses this story and concludes by pointing out how the Pesukim regarding the א ֵ שׁ ֶ ת י ְ פ ַ ת ־ תּ ֹ א ַ ר are adjacent to those of the בֵּן סוֹרֵ ר וּמוֹרֶ ה. While the Torah permits marrying the beautiful captive woman, it is teaching us that anyone who marries such a woman will have a rebellious and wayward son.
Chazal – both the Rishonim and the Acharonim – stand on several questions, the order of which begins already in last week's Parsha. The first question is, why does the Torah begin in the singular – כִּי תֵצֵא לַמִּ לְחָמָה, continue in the plural – עַל אֹיְבֶיך, and then return to the singular – בְּ יָ דֶ ך ל ֹהֶ יך-וּנְתָנוֹ ה' אֱ? If the intention is for a war against enemies, it should have said: בְּיָדְכֶם לֹהֶיך-כִּי תֵצְאו לַמִּלְחָמָה עַל אֹיְבֶיכם וּנְתָנָםֹ ה' אֱ, because a person does not go to war alone; rather, an entire army goes to war. Furthermore, why is it said לַמִּלְחָמָה עַל אֹיְבֶיך? Does one ever go to war against someone who is not their enemy?
Rabbeinu Bachya profoundly explains, and sets up the focus of our shiur:
On the Intellectual Level: The Yetzer Hara
On the intellectual level, this parsha contains an awakening and a hint about the Yetzer Hara, for the Yetzer Hara constantly accuses and causes a person to sin, coming to them in the guise of a beautiful captive woman to deceive and ensnare them in all the desires of the world. This is the language of Chazal in Kiddushin 21a, who said the Torah spoke only against the Yetzer Hara, explaining to us that the matter of this parsha of the beautiful captive woman is a hint to the Yetzer Hara. And what is a person's remedy to be saved from its harm? To completely remove its harsh power from them, this is "and she shall shave her head," for a person's hair is their strength, as it is written (Shoftim 16:17): If my hair were cut, my strength would leave me; Therefore, it mentions the language of cutting hair, meaning that one should not follow it at all but remove it entirely.
Allow me to note on the words of Rabbeinu Bachya, that hair symbolizing the Yetzer Hara can also be found in the story of Yosef. Immediately after he curled his hair, Potiphar's wife arrived and tried to lure him into sin. Like hair, nails also share a similar aspect. However, nails are more connected to forces of impurity than to evil inclination. We can take note that hair and nails are two things that continually change in a person's body; once a person reaches the age of 18 or so, they do not grow anymore – they remain the same height and remain in the same frame, except for two things: hair and nails. These two items constantly change, and this is meant to show a person that this world is transient; therefore, a person who sits shiva grows their hair and nails – to express the essence of this world that is transient.
If so, an אֵשׁ ֶת יְפַת־תֹּאַר – a beautiful captive woman, is not necessarily literal, but rather a description of a situation. We find that Chazal refer to the Yetzer Hara in many places as a beautiful captive woman. The meaning of this choice of language is – the Yetzer Hara beautifies things for a person and thereby causes them to sin. And why did Chazal specifically choose the title א ֵ שׁ ֶ ת י ְ פ ַ ת ־ תּ ֹ א ַ ר? There are many explanations.
Chazal and the Creation of the Yetzer Hara
Chazal teach in the Midrash (Bereishit Rabbah 17:6) that when Chava was created, the Satan was created with her. This implies that before Chava's creation, the Satan did not exist. As is well known, woman was created to be a helper for man to overcome all his inclinations and desires, since Chazal say there is no guardian against illicit relations, and no one can withstand these trials. Furthermore, they said in the Gemara (Makkot 23b): גָזֵל וַעֲרָ יוֹת שׁ ֶנַּפְשׁ וֹ שׁ ֶל אָדָם מִתְאַוָּה לָהֶן וּמְחַמַּדְ תָּ ן – Theft and illicit relations, which a person's soul desires and covets.
Let's take an example from the Gemara (Yoma 86b): הֵיכִי דָּמֵי בַּעַל תְּשׁ וּבָה? אָמַר רַ ב יְהוּדָה: כְּגוֹן שׁ ֶבָּאת לְיָדוֹ דְּ בַר עֲבֵירָ ה פַּעַם רִ אשׁ וֹנָה וּשְׁנִי ַל הֵימֶנָּה. מַחְוֵי רַ ב יְהוּדָה: בְּאוֹתָהּ אִשָּׁה, בְּאוֹתוֹ פֶּרֶ ק, בְּאוֹתוֹ מָקוֹם.
With regard to Teshuva, the Gemara asks: What are the circumstances that demonstrate that one has completely repented? Rav Yehuda said: For example, the prohibited matter came to his hand a first time and a second time, and he was saved from it, thereby proving that he has completely repented. Rav Yehuda then demonstrates what he meant: If one has the opportunity to sin with the same woman he sinned with previously, at the same time and the same place, and everything is aligned as it was that first time when he sinned, but this time he overcomes his inclination, it proves his Teshuva is complete, and he is forgiven.
In short, when something he previously failed in before his Teshuva comes his way again, and now he withstands it and does not fail – this is a sign that he has truly performed Teshuva!
Stories of Rabbi Meir and Rabbi Akiva
The Gemara in Massechet Kiddushin (81a) tells a story: Rabbi Meir used to mock sinners and would say that if one truly wants to overcome his Yetzer Hara, it is easy to do so. One day, as Rabbi Meir was walking by the river, the Satan appeared to him as a woman on the other side of the river. Rabbi Meir's inclination was aroused upon seeing this woman, and he wanted to cross to the other side to be with her, but there was no ferry to cross the river. So, he grabbed a rope stretched from one bank to the other above a narrow wooden plank, and he began to cross. When he reached the middle of the rope, meaning after he had crossed half the river, the Satan left him, and his desire for sin vanished. The Satan said to Rabbi Meir: “If not for it being announced in the heavens, ‘Beware of Rabbi Meir and his Torah!’ and they do not allow me to cause you to sin, I would have made your life worthless, as I would have caused you to sin and thereby diminish your value.”
The Gemara then presents another similar story, this time regarding Rabbi Akiva belittling sinners. One day, the Satan appeared to him as a woman at the top of a palm tree, and Rabbi Akiva's inclination was aroused upon seeing this woman, and he grabbed the palm tree and began to climb towards her. When he reached the middle of the palm tree, the Satan left him. The Satan said to Rabbi Akiva: “If it were not announced in the heavens, ‘Beware of Rabbi Akiva and his Torah!’ and they do not allow me to cause you to sin, I would have made your life worthless.
Rabbotai, when the Yetzer Hara tries to cause a person to sin, the most common sin is illicit relations, which is why Chazal used the example of the beautiful captive woman. Therefore, our Parsha opens with the plural אֹיְבֶיך – your enemies, since the Yetzer Hara has seven forces. Corresponding to this, the Kohen Gadol on Yom Kippur sprinkles the blood of the bull אַ חַ ת לְמַ עְ לָה וְ שׁ ֶ בַע לְמַ טָּ ה – one above and seven below.
The sefer Torat HaOlah, and as brought in the name of the Belzer Rebbes, writes: The Yom Kippur sprinklings – one above and seven below – symbolize the battle between the Yetzer Tov and the Yetzer Hara. The Yetzer Hara is described with seven names, while the Yetzer Tov is called by only one. The Kohen Gadol therefore sprinkled seven below and one above, counting each lower sprinkling together with the upper one, to show that when the inclinations are joined, they can both serve good. The single sprinkling above represents the Yetzer Tov’s power to overcome the sevenfold Yetzer Hara, as alluded to in Yechezkel’s words: וְזָרַ קְתִּי עֲלֵיכֶם מַיִם טְהוֹרִ ים – I will sprinkle pure water upon you.
The Battle with the Yetzer Hara
In this manner, we can find in the words of the Ohr HaChaim Hakadosh in Parshat Shoftim. There, the Torah says: לֹא תִירָא וְרָאִיתָ סוּס וָרֶ כֶב עַם רַ ב מִמְּך כִּי תֵצֵא לַמִּלְחָמָה עַל אֹיְבֶך מֵהֶם כִּי ה' אֱ - מֵ אֶ רֶ ץ מִ צְ רָ יִ ם׃ הַ מּ ַ עַ לְ ך עִ מּ ָ ך ל ֹהֶ יך
When you go out to battle against your enemies and see horses and chariots, a people more numerous than you, do not fear them, for Hashem your G-d is with you, who brought you up from the land of Egypt.
The Ohr HaChaim writes – the Pasuk hints at the battle of man with his Yetzer Hara, and it comes to remove fear from his heart, saying that when you go out to the known battle, which is greater than any other, there are two difficult things for a person that weaken his strength. One is that he is not trained in battle as his Yetzer Hara is trained nor accustomed to this type of battle as the evil inclination is. The second is that the composition of man embraces the words of the Yetzer Hara in all that it tells him regarding the prohibition to steal, rob, be arrogant, and eat all that his soul desires, etc. and this prevents him from listening to the words of the Torah and Mitzvot. Moreover, after he has failed in many sins, the forces of evil that were born from his evil deeds increase, and he is seemingly helpless among them. Therefore, the Torah comes and says not to fear the configuration one is up against, for it is Hakadosh Baruch Hu and His strength that will do battle for you, to save you; for when a person comes to purify himself, Hakadosh Baruch Hu will subdue his adversaries. And what is the proof of this? מֵ אֶ רֶ ץ מִ צְ רָ יִ ם הַ מּ ַ עַ לְ ך – This is the essence of Yetziat Mitzrayim, where Hakadosh Baruch Hu separates the klipa – the spiritual shell or obstructive covering – from the holiness and refines it.
Rabbeinu Yona writes in Shaarei Teshuva: Among the goodness that Hakadosh Baruch Hu bestowed upon His creations is that He prepared for them the way to rise from the pit of their deeds and to flee from the snare of their sins, to save their souls from the grave and to turn away His anger from them...
However, Rabbotai, it is vital to point out that in order to merit this outcome, a person is obligated in one thing first – to go out to battle against his Yetzer Hara!
The Soul as the Beautiful Captive Woman
The Ohr HaChaim writes that the term woman here refers to the soul of a person. The Yetzer Hara does not have control over the soul until it descends and enters a person, at which point it is taken captive. The soul is called a woman, and it is described as beautiful of form because the soul is indeed beautiful in its original state, but it becomes defiled through evil deeds. But when a person overcomes the Yetzer Hara, they realize how beautiful and pleasant their soul truly is. The Pasuk states ו ְ ח ָ שׁ ַ קְ תּ ָ ב ָ ה ּ – and you desire her, meaning that the desire one had for the words of the Yetzer Hara and its temptations can be redirected to adorn the soul with eternal goodness. The Pasuk continues: בֵּיתֶך וַהֲבֵאתָהּ אֶל־תּוֹך – and you shall bring her into your house, indicating that through the temptations of evil, the soul distances itself from the body, and an evil part dwells in its place. When one conquers their Yetzer Hara, they bring their soul back into their body, becoming a master of the soul. The soul must be purified of the evil clinging to it – symbolized by shaving the head, trimming the nails, and removing the garment of captivity – through Teshuva and cleansing of sins. It should then dwell in the Beit Midrash, weeping in confession for straying from its Father – i.e., Hakadosh Baruch Hu – and Mother – i.e., Knesset Yisrael. Finally, the “month of days” refers to the time needed for this Teshuva, especially the month of Elul.
An allegory is brought in the name of the Chafetz Chaim: Why is it that when a child reaches the age of Mitzvot, they are called a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, but someone who commits transgressions is called a Ba’al Aveirah? The explanation is that "Ba’al" refers to a husband, who can be divorced through a get. A person who sins can separate from the aveirot, hence they are called Ba’al Aveirah, but Bar Mitzvah means "son of the Mitzvah," and a son can never be divorced from their father.
The Thought of Teshuva
There is something called הִ רְ הוּר תְּ שׁ וּבָה – the thought of repentance, or reflection of Teshuva, as Rabbeinu Yona brings in sefer Shaarei Teshuvah, listing twenty principles for the process of Teshuva. The Agra D’Pirka writes that it is known that everything a person does in this world is not in vain; even a thought is not nullified. If a person did not perform Teshuva but merely thought of repenting, even that thought is not nullified; it descends to She’ol, chirps, and ascends. And if a thought is not nullified, how much more so speech, and even more so action! What is the proof? If a man says to a woman: “הֲרֵ י אַתְּ מְקֻדֶּשׁ ֶת לִי עַל מְנָת שׁ ֶאֲנִי צַדִּ יק גָמוּר – Behold, you are betrothed to me on the condition that I am a completely righteous person" – she is betrothed, as the Rambam says, she is betrothed out of doubt, as perhaps he contemplated Teshuva in his heart.
Rabbotai, keep in mind that this is not talking about a yeshiva bochur from the Chazon Ish Kollel! It’s dealing with someone sporting a long ponytail, twelve earrings in one ear, a nose ring, and tattoos across his shoulders with all the teachings of R’ Yehuda ben Teima: עַז כַּנָּמֵר וְקַל כַּנֶּשׁ ֶר וְרָ ץ כַּצְבִי וְגִבּוֹר כַּאֲרִ י! And moreover, he just finished eating a sandwich from Mizra [Israel's largest producer of nonkosher meats] without washing hands or reciting Birkat Hamazon. At that very moment, he says: הֲרֵ י אַתְּ מְ קֻדֶּשׁ ֶת לִי עַל מְנָת שׁ ֶאֲנִי צַדִּ יק גָמוּר. One thing here is certain – he is גָמוּר, as in finished; but how did he suddenly become righteous?!
Thus, we see that the thought of Teshuva is effective. True, the Torah says בְּ פִ יך וּבִ לְ בָ בְ ך לַעֲשֹׂתוֹ – In your mouth and in your heart to do it, meaning that for Teshuva, one needs confession, regret, and resolve for the future. So, what does a mere thought help? The answer is that הִ רְ הוּר תְּ שׁ וּבָה is the opening to the process of Teshuva, after which come the other elements like confession, regret, and resolve for the future.
Principles of Teshuva
Rabbeinu Yona writes that the fourth principle is צַעַר בַּמַּ עֲשֶׂ ה – sorrow for the deed, and the fifth principle is דְּ אָ גָה – worry. One should worry and fear the punishment for their sins, as there are sins for which Teshuva only suspends atonement and suffering (יְ ס ו ּ רִ י ן) cleanses. Additionally, one should worry that perhaps they are falling short in the obligation of Teshuva with sorrow, bitterness, fasting, and weeping. Even if they feel much sorrow and weep greatly, they should tremble and fear that perhaps they have much guilt. They have not completed their duty with all their affliction and weeping in fasting their soul.
Skipping ahead, the twelfth principle listed by Rabbeinu Yona is: שׁ ֶיַּחְקֹר וְיֵדַע וְיַכִּיר גֹדֶל הָעֹנֶשׁ לְכָל אֶחָד מֵעוֹנוֹתָיו – To investigate and know the severity of the punishment for each of their sins. Which of them result in lashes, which carry a penalty of karet, and which result in a death penalty by the court; all in order to know the severity of their sin in their confession, and to increase humility and fear of their sins; for with severe aveirot, Teshuva suspends Kapara and Yisurin cleanse.
The Meaning of Names in Chazal
In several of his writings, the Maharal says that the names of people referenced by Chazal are not always the names given to them at their Brit Milah. For example, the well-known party guests קַ מְ צָ א and בּ ַ ר קַ מְ צָ א. It is most likely that Kamtza was not the name given to him at birth, so why does the Gemara refer to him by this name? It is because the name קַ מְ צָ א indicates a separation and division, from the language of קְ מִ יצָ ה – the act of separating a fistful of flour from a Mincha offering, which symbolizes separation and sanctification for Hakadosh Baruch Hu.
The Story of Rabbi Elazar ben Durdaya
The Gemara in (Avodah Zarah 17a) tells an unflattering story of Rabbi Elazar ben Durdaya, who was so promiscuous that he did not leave one prostitute in the world with whom he did not engage in relations. Once, he heard that there was one prostitute in one of the cities overseas who would take a purse full of dinars as her payment. He took a purse full of dinars and went and crossed seven rivers to reach her. Just when they were engaged in the act, she passed wind and said: “Just as this passed wind will not return to its place, so too Elazar ben Durdaya will not be accepted in Teshuva, even if he were to try to repent.” Shocked upon hearing this, he went and sat between two mountains and hills and said: “Mountains and hills, pray for mercy on my behalf, so that my repentance will be accepted.” They said to him: “Before we can pray for mercy on your behalf, we must pray for mercy on our own behalf.” He then said: “Heaven and earth, pray for mercy on my behalf.” They too replied: “Before we can pray for mercy on your behalf, we must pray for mercy on our own behalf.“ The same repeated itself for the sun and moon, and then the stars and constellations. The Gemara states what came next:
He said: The matter depends on nothing other than me. He placed his head between his knees and cried loudly until his soul left his body. A Bat Kol emerged and said: “Rabbi Elazar ben Durdaya is destined for life in Olam Haba.” When Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi heard this story of Elazar ben Durdaya, he wept and said: “There is one who acquires his share in Olam Haba only after many years of toil, and there is one who acquires his share in Olam Haba in one moment – וְיֵשׁ קוֹנֶה עוֹלָמוֹ בְּשׁ ָעָה אַחַת.
The Maharal asks, what kind of name is Durdaya, which is the language of wine dregs, the psolet (waste) of wine?
Turning to the Heavens for Mercy
To properly understand this Gemara, we need to delve into the topic. Among some Ashkenazi communities, there is a debate about whether to say the piyyut מַ כְ נִ י סֵ י רַ חֲ מִ י ם before concluding the Selichot; some hold it should not be recited because it involves addressing the ministering angels and asking something of them – הַ כְ נִיסוּ רַ חֲ מֵ ינוּ לִ פְ נֵי בַּעַ ל הָ רַ חֲ מִ ים. Why should we address the ministering angels; do we pray to Hakadosh Baruch Hu or to His angels?! Those commentators support their position with the words of the Yerushalmi (Berachot 9:1) which states that one should not turn to the ministering angels but directly to Hakadosh Baruch Hu!
I've always wondered, where did R' Elazar ben Durdaya get the idea to turn to his surroundings and ask for mercy?! Imagine a person in some distress sitting outside a hospital, suddenly deciding to ask for mercy: "Grass and sprinklers, awaken heavenly mercy upon me!" Where did he get this crazy idea from?! A normal person doesn't turn to birds nor stones, but rather to Hakadosh Baruch Hu! I searched through the commentators but did not find an answer to this question. But what I did find was who the originator of this idea is!
The Midrash says (Tanchuma, Va'etchanan 6), Moshe Rabbeinu davened 515 prayers, attempting to annul the decree that he would not enter Eretz Yisrael. When he saw that his Tefillot were not being heeded, he went to the heavens and the earth and said to them: "Seek mercy for me." They replied, "Before we seek mercy for you, we should seek mercy for ourselves.” Moshe Rabbeinu then went to the stars and constellations and asked the same, but their reply was identical. Then to the mountains and hills, and then to the great sea, and finally to the ministering angel of the sea (after the sea reminded him of what he had done to it years earlier, hitting it and dividing it into twelve paths). Upon being denied by all, Moshe Rabbeinu placed his hands on his head, cried and wept: "To whom shall I go to seek mercy for me?"
If so, we find here that Moshe Rabbeinu turned to the ministering angel, and this is the proof brought by those who believe the piyyut מַ כְ נִ י סֵ י רַ חֲ מִ י ם should indeed be recited – if Moshe Rabbeinu himself asked for mercy from an angel, why shouldn't we?!
The question arises, why didn't R' Elazar ben Durdaya ask for mercy from the sea, as Moshe Rabbeinu did? Sefer Neveh Shalom (Avodah Zarah) answers: It can be said that since the Dor HaMabul (the generation of the flood) were destroyed by water because they corrupted their way on the earth – שׁ ֶהִשְׁחִיתוּ אֶת דַּרְ כָּם עַל הָאָרֶ ץ – and Elazar ben Durdaya had this
