When People Don’t See Their Blessings in the Torah
A Slander Against the Torah
Our parashah speaks of the case of the רע שם מוציא, in which one acquired a wife and slandered her out of hatred.
The Ohr HaChaim HaKadosh, however, goes a layer deeper; he explains that this parashah actually refers to those who acquired the Torah but exhibit hatred toward it—complaining that the Torah doesn’t give them sufficient blessing, and he must thus engage in excessive efforts to earn money at the expense of Torah learning. But, says the Ohr HaChaim HaKadosh, the “father and the mother” (i.e., HaKadosh Baruch Hu and Knesses Yisrael) will avenge the shame of the Torah (just as the parents of a woman do in our parashah).
It Depends on You
The Ohr HaChaim HaKadosh goes on to explain that this is comparable to what takes place in interpersonal dilemmas. When we enter into disagreements with a person close to us, there’s a vicious cycle. One person doesn’t give the relationship what he needs to, and therefore the second person doesn’t do his part either. This brings dislike and hatred between them, and then comes blame, and so it goes, around and around. Says the Ohr HaChaim HaKadosh: This precisely is what takes place in our relationship with the Torah.
A person may lament: The pasuk tells us עושר בשמאלה בימינה ימים אורך וכבוד, length of days is at its right; at its left wealth and honor (Mishlei 3:16). There are many benefits that come to one who engages in Torah study—but it’s not happening for me.” This person alleges that he was assured of something, and that assurance hasn’t come to fruition.
Reneging on Your Part, and Complaining
In order to understand the two sides of this matter, let us take as an example a father who enrolls his son into a yeshivah for special-needs students which charges exorbitant tuition. Why do they charge so much tuition? Because there’s a low staff-to-student ratio, and the students are given much more individual attention. The yeshivah operates many special programs and extracurricular activities, providing for their students’ spiritual, physical, and emotional needs, which also includes many trips and getaways.
After a while, the father approaches the yeshivah with a complaint. “I have done my part. I enrolled my son here, and I paid every dime that was asked of me. But I don’t see you holding up your part of the bargain. My son isn’t happy here, and I don’t see any evidence of anyone working with him as promised.”
We understand this father’s pain, and we hear his complaint. But then we investigate a bit, and it turns out that we must get to know this boy in order to understand what’s happening here. The boy is a “free spirit” who barely makes it to yeshivah, and when he does come, he ignores everything that he’s told. And so, who’s really at fault here? And the complaint against the father is: Why are you slandering the yeshivah? Why are you alleging that they aren’t doing their job when it’s your own son who isn’t doing his part? Most egregiously, why are you going around telling the whole world that the yeshiva isn’t good and isn’t holding up its side of the bargain?
Why Isn’t it Working for Me?
Disputes between business partners always work this way: One partner doesn’t do his part in the partnership and that is why he doesn’t receive the benefits he expected.” And when we’re speaking about the Torah, we’re dealing with the source of all blessing and benefit in the world—for the world was created through the Torah, and thus, all blessings in the world are really derived from the Torah.
But this person comes along and says, “I’m beginning to doubt the truth of this. For me, this bargain isn’t working.” And the Torah comes back with a tremendous complaint: You should understand on your own the foolishness of your words. You should ask yourself, “Why is there so much blessing and shefa in the world and I don’t have access to it? Perhaps the problem is with me and my connection to the Torah?”
There’s a great foolishness in this thinking, and the Ohr HaChaim HaKadosh tells us that the Ribbono shel Olam will stand up for the shame of the Torah. Sadly, many people get caught up in thinking like this. Sometimes, we find a Yid who’s sad and bitter. “I don’t know about all this,” he says. “All these assurances and blessings... I’m not seeing it. They’re not working. I’ve davened... I’ve done such and such... to no avail. I’m left with a bitter peckel of suffering.”
This is an extremely sad situation—and were this person in a calm state of mind, we could explain to him the error of his ways. “We hear your pain. We see that you’re enduring terrible suffering, and we feel along with you. But you’re wagging an accusing finger at the Torah, claiming that the promises of blessing aren’t materializing.... Given that we know that the Torah is the source of all blessing—of salvation and of healing, of parnassah and of happiness—doesn’t it occur to you that perhaps the problem is with you, and the strength of your connection to it?!”
You’re Still Finding Your Way
But the truth is that there’s tremendous chizuk as well in the words of the Ohr HaChaim HaKadosh.
People may take these words as a terrible rebuke, and they therefore gravitate to melancholy and despair. They’ve already left yeshivah decades ago... and they don’t have the hasmadah of their youth. And now you’re telling them that all their ills are due to their lack of commitment to learning.
But when we look deeper at the words of the Ohr HaChaim, we will see that he says, עשה לא לעשות לו שראוי כמו, he has not done as well as he
