(Beraishis 12:18)
When there was a famine in Canaan, Avram and Sarai traveled to Egypt where there was food. Sarai was kidnaped and brought to the king as a wife. In next week’s Parsha, a similar thing would occur when they went to the land in the south after the cities of Sodom were destroyed, and once again, Sarah was taken to the king.
However, when the Torah describes the incidents, there are notable differences.
When she was taken by Avimelech in Parsha Vayera, Hashem appeared to him in a dream and told him to stay away from the woman as she was married. Avimelech protested his innocence and Hashem said, “That’s why I did not allow you to touch her.” We don’t find that Hashem appeared to Pharaoh, yet Pharaoh asks Avram why he didn’t tell him Sarai was his wife. How did Pharaoh know?
The Ramban says that when Pharaoh and his household were suddenly afflicted with plagues, he asked himself, “Why is G-d doing this to us?” He spoke to Sarai and she told him she was married. That’s why he called Avram and took him to task for misleading him. Even though he understood why Avram would have told the general populace she was his sister, when it came to the Pharaoh, it would be beneath him to take a married woman for himself. Since Avram didn’t say anything, Pharaoh surmised she was really his sister. This is also why Avram didn’t answer Pharaoh or explain himself now. It wasn’t necessary.
Therefore, in order to distance himself from shame, and not have people say, “That’s the married woman Pharaoh took,” Pharaoh sent Avram and Sari from his land. Hashem didn’t need to appear to Pharaoh because he was honest enough with himself to recognize his own mistakes and rectify them. Not so Avimelech.
He played the innocent card over and over, and refused to acknowledge any wrongdoing. Though he was certainly not “intentionally” taking a married woman, he was slyly careful to remain ignorant and thus blameless. This was a calculated decision and shows that though he didn’t actually know Sarah was married, he could have known. Thus, he was not as pure as he claimed to be.
The contrast between these two should give us pause. Are we Pharaohs or Avimelechs? Do we seek to be honorable and above board, using our best judgment and trying to avoid sin, or do we merely seek to absolve ourselves from blame? We should hold ourselves to a higher standard, wanting to be good because it’s right, not just because we don’t want to be blamed. If Pharoah could do it, certainly we all can.
R’ Asher Zelig Rubenstein z”l related the story of a benefactor who had promised to send a large donation to his Yeshiva. As days turned into weeks and the check was not forthcoming, R’ Asher Zelig and his finance office were starting to get agitated.
Suddenly, the donor was arrested and charged with fraud. Everyone affiliated with him in any way was investigated and publicized; their names and organizations posted, causing untold embarrassment to innocent people who had simply received charity from him.
It was at that point they finally realized how kind Hashem had been to them in not letting the donor send the check. What they thought was a loss, was a tremendously valuable kindness from Heaven.
©2025 – J. Gewirtz
