And there was a quarrel between the herdsmen of Avram's cattle and between the herdsmen of Lot's cattle, and the Canaanites and the Perizzites were then dwelling in the land. And Avram said to Lot, "Please let there be no quarrel between me and between you and between my herdsmen and between your herdsmen, for we are kinsmen. Is not all the land before you? Please part from me (13:7-9).
There are many major difficulties in these Psukim: The first difficulty is that Posuk 7 states that there was only a quarrel between the herdsmen. Why does Avram tell Lot in Posuk 8 "Please let there be no quarrel between me and between you" when there was no quarrel between Avram and Lot mentioned? Another difficulty is: Why does the Posuk 7 have to mention “and the Canaanites and the Perizzites were then dwelling in the land?" What is this relevant to the quarrel of the herdsmem? Another difficulty is in Posuk 8 when Avram says to Lot, Please let there be no quarrel between me and between you and between my herdsmen and between your herdsmen, for we are kinsmen. What does being Kinsmen have to do with quarrel?
To understand the Psukim, It quoted from the Shela Hakadosh the difference between the words ai À¦x and Æd ̈ai ¦x §n. ai À¦x is a minor quarrel, and Æd ̈ai ¦x §n is a major and fiery quarrel.
There is also a difference when simple people have a quarrel, which is perceived as normal. However, when prominent people quarrel, everyone talks about it. Based on this introduction, we can now explain: Posuk 7: i ́¥r x oi ¥μA ai À¦x i ¦d §i«©e hF ®l d¥p §w ¦n i ́¥r x oi−¥aE m ½ ̈x §a ©` d«¥p §w ¦n A quarrel between the herdsmen; the Torah uses the word ai À¦x, a minor quarrel.
Avram knew that a minor quarrel, if not stopped soon enough, evolves into a major one and is very difficult to control. Therefore, he said, Æd ̈ai ¦x §n i³¦d §z ` ̧ ̈p l ©`, stop and squash the quarrel among the herdsmen now, before it would evolve into a fiery quarrel and we and the herdsman would get involved in the dispute.
That is why Avram says i³¦d §z ` ̧ ̈p l ©`, a futuristic term; it shouldn’t come to a quarrel. Hence this answers the first difficulty of the quarrel between them. Avram tells Lot we are kinsmen, Anashim. We all know the famous Rashi in Bamidbar 13:3: zeaiyg oeyl `xwnay miyp` lk -miyp` mlk .eid mixyk dry dze`e that Anashim means prominent people. (Rashi states this point 15 times in Tanach.) When Avram tells Lot that we should avoid a dispute between ourselves, Avram has a deep intent here. Lot then asks Avram, What are the consequences of a dispute among us? Avram answers: Anashim Achim Anachnu; we are prominent people. When prominent people have a quarrel, it is noticed and talked about!
To answer the Posuk 7 that relates that the Canaanites and the Perizzites were then dwelling in the land. Here, Avram was concerned about Chillul Hashem if a quarrel would occur between him and Lot. Chazal tells us that Avram would preach Emunah in Hashem. He would reach out and convince people. Shlomo Hamelech tells us in Koheles 9:17: .mi®¦r ̈n §W ¦p z ©g−©p §A mi ½¦n ̈k£g i ́¥x §a ¦C The words of the wise are heard when spoken softly. In order to have people listen, one must speak in a pleasant manner.
Avram was a humble person and always pursued peace. Hence, if he got involved in a quarrel with Lot, both being prominent people, the news of this dispute would become the talking point. Then people would wonder how Avram, the humble and peace seeker, could get involved in a quarrel, and this would cause a Chillul Hashem. It would also affect Avram’s preaching Emunah, as people would have second thoughts about him. Therefore, in order to avoid all this agony, Avram was very careful and spoke with wisdom to Lot. Hence in Posuk 9, Avram begs Lot. Is not all the land before you? Please part from me.
This is a lesson to be learned for all: Never quarrel with anyone, even a minor one, as a minor quarrel, if not stopped, would evolve into a major one and become fiery, and it is almost impossible to quell and extinguish it.
