But as we said, these are also days of mourning, and we are obligated to minimize our joy. So, how does a Yid do both? How can he mourn and, at the same time, be happy?
Rebbe Shmelke of Nickelsburg zy'a answers with a mashal: A king was forced to run away from his palace. He arrived at a distant land and stayed at a good friend's home. The king noticed that his host sometimes appeared happy and sometimes seemed sad and asked him about that. The host replied, "I am happy, and I am sad. I am sad because the king had to leave his palace and come here, but I am also happy because I have the privilege of hosting the king in my home."
Reb Shmelke of Nickelsburg explains that this describes our emotions during the Nine Days and the Three Weeks. We cry bitterly and mourn because the Shechinah is in galus, but we are also happy because the Shechinah is with us.
Rebbe Dovid'l of Tolna zt'l once came late to his tish and explained that he was delayed because he had the privilege of meeting with Moshiach. Moshiach asked Rebbe Dovid’l whether he should come immediately to redeem the Jewish nation or wait until all Yidden were ready. Moshiach explained the question: "If I redeem the Yidden now, some neshamos will never be rectified." Rebbe Dovid of Tolna advised Moshiach to wait until all neshamos were ready.
One of the chassidim at Rebbe Dovid’s tish asked, "Rebbe, isn't it better that Moshiach comes now? Why should we wait for those few shleppers and unfortunate souls?" The Tolna Rebbe replied, "You are one of those souls. If Moshiach comes now, you will never be rectified.”
Reb Shalom Keshenmacher wanted to divorce his bickering wife, but his Rebbe, Rebbe Asher of Stolin zy'a, opposed the divorce, so he held out as long as he could. But it came to a point that he couldn’t cope any longer, and he divorced her. He understood that having done so, he couldn’t return to his Rebbe.
Reb Shalom Keshenmacher, however, couldn’t bear to watch his children suffer, so he remarried his first wife. He returned to his Rebbe. Rebbe Asher Stoliner said, "Reb Shalom? What brings you back here?" "I remarried my wife." "You did? Why?" "I couldn’t bear to see my children suffer." Rebbe Asher turned his eyes heavenward and said, "Ribono Shel Olam, Shalom Keshenmacher took back his wife, whom he doesn’t love because he couldn’t bear to watch his children suffer. Woe to the children [the Jewish people] who were banished from their Father's table."
