It states in this week's parashah (21:13), לידו אנה והאלקים, "And Hashem brought it upon his hand." This pasuk discusses someone who accidentally murdered his fellow man. Who did it? Was it the person's negligence that caused the death? The Torah states clearly that Hashem caused it to happen. This reveals that even when someone harms another person, it is from Hashem. There is no one to be angry at because it was destined. It was from Hashem.
It states (21:19) ירפא ורפא, and the Gemara (Bava Metzia 85.) says, לרפאות לרופא רשות שנתנה מכאן, "From here we learn that doctors are permitted to heal the ill."
Why would we think that doctors may not heal? Why do we need the Torah to tell us that healing is permitted?
Rashi explains that a doctor might say, "If Hashem smote him, I should heal him?" The wound is from Hashem; how do I have permission to go against Hashem's will? Therefore, the Torah tells the doctors that they may heal.
But when we look at the pasukim, it is easy to mistakenly think that it wasn’t Hashem Who hit the deceased. It seems that a human being hit him. For it states (21:18-19), ורפא ...באגרוף או באבן רעהו את איש והכה אנשים יריבן וכי ירפא, "If men quarrel and one strikes his fellow with a stone or a fist... He shall provide for healing..."
The Chofetz Chaim zt'l uses this pasuk as further proof that even when a human being harms his fellow man, it is from Hashem. It is so clearly from Hashem that the doctor would think he couldn't heal him, for it would be like going against Hashem's will.
It states in this week's parashah (22:8), על זה הוא כי יאמר אשר אבידה כל. Devarim Achadim (p.11) explains, יאמר אשר, people say, הוא כי, that this person is responsible for what occurred. Or they say זה, this other person is guilty. The Torah corrects them and says, עד שניהם דבר יבא האלקים, attribute what happened to Hashem. Instead of blaming others, recognize that it was bashert.
Yosef was sold to Mitzrayim, but he was never angry with his brothers for doing so. Instead, Yosef told his brothers (Bereishis 45:8), האלקים כי הנה אתי שלחתם אתם לא ועתה, "And now, you did not send me here, but Hashem."
When Shimi ben Geira cursed Dovid HaMelech, Dovid said (Shmuel 2, 16:10), אמר 'ה כי דוד את קלל לו, "Hashem has surely said to him, 'Curse Dovid.'כן עשיתה מדוע יאמר ומי, Who then shall say, 'Why have you done so'?"
Tanya explains that Shimi was punished for being the shaliach, but what happened was destined by Hashem's will.
Once, Reb Michoel Ber Weismandl zt'l cried to Rebbe Yosef Yitzchak of Lubavitz (the Riyatz) zt'l that he could have saved thousands of people from the Holocaust, but evil people prevented him. The Lubavitzer Rebbe said, "And who did all of that?" He reminded Reb Michoel Ber that everything is from Hashem. Reb Michoel Ber said that the Lubavitzer Rebbe's words turned around his entire perspective.
When we recognize that everything is from Hashem, we won't take revenge. The Chinuch (Mitzvah 241) writes, "One of the reasons for the mitzvah of תקום לא (to not take revenge) is so people should take to heart that everything that happens to them – the good and the bad – was destined by Hashem. If someone harms you or causes you distress, believe it is because of your aveiros, and Hashem decreed it. Don’t take revenge. Your fellow man isn’t the cause of your suffering. The cause is your aveiros."
The Chozeh of Lublin zt'l (הנהגות) writes, "It is good to remember, always, that everything is from Hashem, as Chazal (Chulin 7:) say, 'A person doesn’t hurt his finger unless it was decreed in heaven.' Even when a person is hurt by a human being who has free will, this was also from Hashem. When a person lives with this emunah, it will be easy for him to overcome his anger because he knows it wasn’t the person who hurt him.
"And even when a person harms himself, it wasn't because of his negligence or anything like that. It was destined from above. Keep these thoughts in mind, and you will always remember Hashem."
These final words of the Chozeh reveal an important lesson. Even when one harms himself, it is from Hashem. So, what others do to you, and even what you do to yourself, are all from Hashem.
People are upset with themselves when they make poor financial decisions or other foolish choices in life. The Chozeh reveals that these errors were also decreed in Heaven. Don't beat yourself up with regret because this is what was destined to be.
