Top Cop Keep It Safe

This past year has seen a huge increase in damages brought on by unwatched pets, including cats, dogs, cows and bulls. In response, Chief of Police Frank Columbovitch has issued strict safety guidelines:

“Pet owners are responsible to pay for damage their animals cause. Secure your animals or hire a reliable watchman,” warned Mr. Columbovitch. “Safety is our number one priority!”

As a further safety measure, Mr. Columbovitch added, “Oh... one more thing. Do not dig pits in public property. Oh... and one more thing... Extinguish all barbecues and campfires completely after use. Oh... and one more thing... [3 minutes later] Oops. Sorry... can’t seem to recall..”