In the 5710’s, it was customary for the Rebbe to serve as mesader kiddushin for Lubavitcher bochurim learning at the 770 yeshiva.
When a certain bochur asked the Rebbe to have this zechus, the Rebbe responded that he would agree if the kallah’s father begins to grow his beard. Upon receiving notification of the Rebbe’s request, the kallah’s father obliged, and the Rebbe served as mesader kiddushin.
When the kallah’s father entered yechidus before the chassuna, his beard had already started growing. The Rebbe said to him, “I hope you have no resentment that I wanted you to grow a beard.”
“When the Rebbe commands one to do something,” he responded, “I obey!”
But the Rebbe wasn’t pleased. “Is it my requirement?! It is the Shulchan Aruch’s requirement!”
Likewise, in a different instance, the Rebbe wrote to someone before making a chassuna: “It would be a wonderful thing for you to grow a beard... not because I want you to, but rather because the Almighty wants you to.”
(Footnotes to Igros Kodesh – Milu’im, Adar 5760; Mekadesh Yisroel p. 248)
