Part III. The Grateful Nazir
Animal Torah
In Mesichta Pesachim (49b) the Gemara states, הֵ מָ ה וֹ רַ ת הַ בְ זֹאת ת – This is the torah of a beheima (Vayikra 11:46). So the Sages ask, what kind of Torah does a beheima have? For us there’s a Torah, but what’s this toras ha’beheima all about? It may not sound like a very big kasheh to you, but you’ll see from the answer that it’s an important thing.
The Gemara says like this: There is a toras ha’beheima, rules for eating a beheima. It means that in order to have a right to eat the meat of living things so you must qualify. Am ha’aretz assur le’echol basar – An ignoramus cannot eat meat. Which means when your wife sends you to the butcher shop to buy some meat, so the butcher should say, “Say over something; let’s hear something. I can’t give you meat unless you have some Torah with you. Say over a piece of Ketzos Hachoshen or a piece of Nesivos or at least some ha’arah in the Biur Halacha. At least quote something from the Gemara.”
Get Used to Spinach
So you tell him, “What do you mean? I’m giving you money!”
“Money?” he says. “Money can’t buy everything. That’s the teaching of the Gemara – there’s a toras habeheima, a Torah connected with a beheima. This steak has an Owner and He says it’s not for everybody. It’s only eligible for those people who study Torah. I’m sorry, but there’s a vegetable man across the street. Go across the street and buy some spinach. For meat you have to be a Torah learner; you have to have a head filled with Torah attitudes.”
So next time you sit down and eat a piece of chicken – it doesn’t say chicken there but probably it means chicken too – if your wife puts some chicken on your plate you have to first consider if you’re eligible. Maybe you should leave it over and suffice with the potatoes.
There’s a great lesson here. The world belongs to Somebody! There’s an Owner. You can’t stretch out your hand and take at will! Forget about the butcher! There’s a bigger Owner and He yields His rights only to someone who learns Torah. Kol haoseik baTorah muttar le’echol basar – Anybody who engages in Torah, he – it means he and his wife – is permitted to eat meat! If the husband does not study Torah, he and his wife have to live on spinach!
The Learning Boy’s Shidduch
Another example. In Mesichta Shabbos (25b) it says like this: Isha mekushetes l’talmid chacham – A woman that’s all dolled up—she’s wearing makeup and jewelry—she’s for a talmid chacham. It’s a remarkable statement; maybe you don’t want to hear it, but it’s the Gemara speaking. It means you’re listening to the words of Hashem now: the isha mekushetes is for the learning boy.
You know, to us it seems that for a talmid chacham, you should bring him a wife that’s as plain as could be. It’s the grubbe yungen, the ignorami, they’re the ones who should have women who come out of the beauty shops and wear the most expensive things.
No; it’s just the opposite. For them, their wives have no right to put on any cosmetics. An am haaretz should be happy that he gets any wife at all — it’s more than he deserves. A plain ragdoll with frazzled hair is good for him. She doesn’t have to wear high heels; no fancy wigs either. A girl as plain as could be, that’s all. And he has to be happy that he has even that. If you see that the resho’im or amei ha’aretz also have dolled up wives, then you have to know that it’s robbery. It’s the same as if he had kidnapped the woman! They have no right! Only the man who devotes his days or part of his days in the pursuits of Toras Hashem – he sacrifices himself, he gives away his leisure to master the wisdom of Hakodosh Baruch Hu – this man is given the luxury of isha mekushetes.
So if you have a good looking wife and you’re not a talmid chacham; if you have a beautiful home and you’re not a talmid chacham – could be you have beautiful furniture too. All these things, the Gemara says are appropriate for a talmid chacham because it encourages his mind, it stimulates his mind. But some people, their minds don’t have to be stimulated because what are they using their minds for anyways? And so, as you walk into your beautiful home and sit down on a beautiful chair and you see your beautiful wife walking through the room, make sure you remember the Owner. And then, when you smell the meat cooking from the kitchen – that’s something too – you have to remember Him again.
Using It Right
A talmid chacham who is busy with the Torah, he’s busy filling his mind with knowledge of the Owner of this world, so he’s not going to be spoiled by the fact that he’s eating tasty meat. He won’t allow himself to be spoiled because he married a beautiful kallah. On the contrary, when he sits down to supper and his wife, an isha mekushetes, brings him a plate of food and he sees that it’s not only broccoli and spinach – there’s some meat in there too – so he reminds himself about what the Owner of this world is giving him.
“Look what Hakadosh Baruch Hu is giving me! A bracha is not enough!” And although he is weary from his efforts in learning, he encourages himself to learn another couple of hours before going to sleep, to make up for it. “I don’t deserve it otherwise – I’ll be a ganav!”
The Fear of Tzaddikim
And that’s why Yaakov Avinu said, ל י מִ כ ֹ קָ ט ֹ נְ תִ ך ל הָאֱ מֶ ת אֲ שֶׁ ר עָשִׂיתָ אֶ ת עַבְדֶ מִ כָ הַחֲ סָ דִ ים ו – “I am too little for all the kindness and all the faithfulness to your promises that you did for me.” Yaakov was really worried about that. It wasn’t a form of speech the way we say it – “I don’t deserve it” – just to show off. Katonti – that’s the fear of tzaddikim.
Now, when a person is not well founded in the fundamental principle we’re speaking about now – when he doesn’t sense clearly that the world has an Owner and that his taking from the world therefore requires justification – so that person will never say katonti. The truth is, he’s always thinking the opposite: “It’s too small what I’m getting.” He won’t say it out loud because he’s embarrassed to admit what he’s thinking – boruch Hashem; at least that. But Yaakov Avinu was well founded in this principle and when anything came his way he was so overwhelmed with awareness of Who was giving it to him that he said, “Katonti – I don’t deserve it.” Because he understood the world has an Owner and that you cannot take unless the Owner is satisfied to yield it to you. And he was afraid that he had not fulfilled the conditions.
The Deficit is Rising
Now, all of this is based on the great principle that we learned from the shepherd boy: It’s an olam she’eino shel’cha – “The world does not belong to you.” And therefore those people who take from this world without thinking about that must know that they are ignoring a fundamental Torah principle.
We must know that the true tzaddikim are constantly worried about that subject. They’re concerned lest they don’t deserve what they’re getting – and that’s only because they’re always thinking about the Owner they’re taking from.
Now, the tzaddikim, because they always recognize what they’re getting from the Owner, so they’re always trying to pay up a little bit. They know they can never fully pay, but they’re always trying to increase their avodas Hashem – what more could they do already?!
But the rest of us are in the red and we’re not doing too much about it. Now, what can we do about it? Of course I can tell you “You can become a tzaddik,” but that’s a little too difficult. You can’t make yourself a Nazir; that you can’t do. What do we do?
Act Guilty
So, I’ll tell you an easy way out. One thing we can do right away. And so we say to Hakadosh Baruch Hu – of course if you can do better than that, you should. Don’t be satisfied with saying the words; get busy and do something. But at least we should keep in our minds always this thought, a fundamental teaching that the world has an Owner and that whatever we take, even if we’re not justified – after all you’re going to eat meat anyhow even if you won’t learn Torah – but at least have a sense of guilt about it. “I’m taking from Hakadosh Baruch Hu.”
You’re like a man who walks into the butcher shop; he knows he owes the butcher five hundred dollars and so he walks in b’boishes panim, with his head hanging. And he says, “Please extend a little more credit to me.” The butcher is a kindhearted man so he does it and now this man can eat but at least he does it with an awareness of the largesse of the owner. He’s eating the chulent meat, but he knows who is really the owner of the meat. But at least it’s better than the holdup man who walks in with a knife or a gun and forces the butcher to give him meat.
Unemployed Butchers
By keeping in mind this principle that the shepherd boy enunciated, that it’s an olam she’eino shel’cha, that’s already a big hatzlacha! We’ll continue taking what we’re not justified in taking – how can everybody abide by that Gemara, not to eat meat unless he’s osek by Torah?! All the kosher butchers would go out of business. And if you made a wedding, you’d have to have special seating charts for the guests – most guests would sit at the milchige table; only one or two could sit at the fleishige table. So what could we do? So we take anyhow; we’re taking from the Owner all day long – we’re not lamdanim, we’re not oisek baTorah sufficiently and yet we have meat every day on our tables. But not just meat – expensive meat. Amei ha’aretz are sitting and splurging every day on expensive cuts!
But it’s not only meat; basar is something special but everything belongs to the Owner. We’re taking from this world from the minute we open our eyes in the morning until we go to sleep – and all night too. The air we breathe, the sunlight that warms us and the cooling breeze, it’s all His. Even our bodies – our hair, our teeth, our fingers – belong to Him. And so we’re taking and taking and taking without end.
The Achievement of Decency
And therefore, the least we can do is take with the knowledge that we’re taking what belongs to Hashem. We should cry out to Him and say, “It’s all Yours, Hashem! You’re the Koneh Hakol, the Owner of everything.” If we’re taking, at least we know from Whom we’re taking it. If we’re stealing it, at least we know from Whom we’re stealing. Before we take, at least we should bow our heads in embarrassment and say, “Ribono Shel Olam, I know I don’t deserve it. Katonti, I’m too small for this but at least I recognize that it’s Yours.”
Recognize that it’s His. You can’t help yourself; you must take, so at least you should say, “Hakadosh Baruch Hu, katonti. I don’t deserve it. It’s all Yours. It’s an olam she’eino sheli, a world that doesn’t belong to me.” And Hakadosh Baruch Hu will say, “This man is at least a decent fellow.” And that’s a very big achievement! If Hakadosh Baruch Hu thinks you’re a decent fellow it means that you’re on the right path.
And so, if we came here tonight merely to realize katonti; just to understand we’re taking from Someone all the time and that we don’t even deserve it, that’s already a tremendous achievement! We should walk out tonight happy that we understand that! We should really walk out singing “katonti” because that’s the beginning of the Torah; it’s the foundation of everything! It’s רָ א רֵ א שִ ׁ י ת בָ בְ קִ ים אֱ ל and that’s the bedrock on which all the other teachings and doctrines of the Torah are founded. All kinds of accomplishments and achievements of shleimus stand on this yesod, this foundation that the world has an Owner!
Have A Wonderful Shabbos
Let’s Get Practical
Remembering the Owner
One of the important lessons of nezirus is that we live in a world that is not ours. Hashem is the owner and our recognition of this Truth makes us great. At least once every day this week I will bli neder stop for a moment before I eat or drink something and reflect on the lessons learned and consider whether I am truly deserving of all the benefits I am receiving. I will try to express my gratitude to Hashem for all the good He gives me.
This week’s booklet is based on tapes:
58 - Borrowing and Not Repaying | 84 - The World Has an Owner
271 - Tenants In This World | 703 - Repaying the Benefactor
890 - Battle Against Materialism | E-33 - Cohanim, Nezirim, Secret Tzadikim
