A good surgeon knows all about it. But suppose he has some worry on his mind. Or suppose for a moment something happens; he loses his awareness. The slightest movement of his hand in the wrong direction can chas veshalom mean that he closes up the body and he turns to the rest of his colleagues and assistants and he says, “Sorry. I did my best.” Or, as they report in the hospital records: “The operation was successful but the patient died”. That’s how it’s reported; the operation is always successful. The review board after all are kindhearted people and they think you can’t make the man alive again anyhow so they might as well be charitable.
Afraid of What?
And therefore a man must be afraid when he’s faced with a danger. But what should a man be afraid of when he’s lying on the operating table, that’s what Dovid asked. He’s afraid of the surgeon cutting the wrong artery?
“No,” said Dovid. “עון עקבי יסובני – It’s the sin of my heels that’s going to surround me and give me tzaros. That’s what I’m afraid of.”
What does that mean, ‘the sin of my heels’? So there are two kinds of sins. There are some sins that are up to your head; you know they’re big sins because you're sinking up to your head in them. And then there are some little ones; they’re only up to your heels.
The Big Small Sin
Now, why is a small sin so big, so important, that it should cause Dovid to be afraid? It’s small after all; a small sin should be only a small worry.
The secret of the greatness of an aveirah, of why there’s no such thing as a small sin is because every sin is against Hakadosh Baruch Hu. It’s not the sin; it’s who you’re sinning against. Because suppose a man goes into Windsor Palace, into the palace of the king of England and he makes a small sin against the King. He doesn’t make a big expectoration on the palace rug; just a little bit of spittle he hacks on the palace rug. You know what happens to him?
Potshots at the President
They have bouncers there in the background. Up front you have polite butlers, but behind the wings they have tough fellows too. And if they see that you're collecting in your throat a good shot at the king’s rug, before you can do it they already have spotted you. Not like American secret service who fall asleep and people can take potshots at the president and only then they wake up and start running. In Scotland Yard there’s no such thing. They’re on the job; they’re wide awake.
And you’ll get it! It’s not a big insult that can make a man lose his head for insulting the king. A little sin against the king is also a sin against the king. And therefore Dovid said, “The sins that are up to my head I'm not worried about because I know about them; I'm frightened about them already. I repented. But avon akevai, it’s the sin at my heels that's going to be my trouble. שאדם דש בעקביו בעולם הזה – It’s the sins that a man tramples under his heels; he thinks they’re nothing, ליום הדין מסובין לו – they are the ones that rise up and surround him on the Day of Judgment (Avodah Zara 18a).
The operating table, that’s a day of judgment. As soon as a man is on the operating table, that’s his Rosh Hashanah; immediately the Beis Din shel Malah, the Heavenly Tribunal, convenes. It could be on Chanuka, Purim, immediately they convene because they have to pass judgment on this man now. It’s a time of sakanah.
The New Year’s Surgery
Now, when it comes to Rosh Hashanah everybody is on operating tables. Rosh Hashanah is a time of great sakanah, of great danger. Whatever happens throughout the year is settled on Rosh Hashanah. If you see any weddings during the year, they were all settled on Rosh Hashanah. And if you pass the Parkside Funeral Parlor on Coney Island Avenue in the middle of the year and you see a hearse parked in front you have to know that the appointment was also made on Rosh Hashanah. And in many cases those appointments, for good and chas veshalom for the other way, was made because of avon akeivai, small things.
Now Dovid there is talking about aveiros but the same is true with mitzvos. Because it’s not different. Just like an aveirah is always big because of the One Who commanded it, same thing with a mitzvah. And therefore on the Day of Judgement – whether it’s the beginning of the year or the beginning of your stay in the Next World – those small things will be very very important.
Tilting the Scales
You know when the time comes, in the Next World, and a man is standing all alone, frightened before the Great Tribunal; on the Day of Judgment, on the final Day of Judgment, a man is judged for everlasting life if he has more mitzvahs or whatever he has more.
And they have a big scale there and they’re weighing; the malachim are putting his mitzvahs on one side, the scale goes down. Other malachim come in with big black bags and they put on the other side and it goes down this side. And each time his heart goes up and down. His heart is in his mouth. And finally the malachim stand aside and the scale is teetering up and down and it finally comes to a rest.
Oh, it’s exact! It’s exact!
“Why didn’t I learn that one minute that I had?! That one minute could have made all the difference!”
And standing there he sheds tears of fire, tears of remorse, burning tears: “Why didn't I put in that one penny? One more penny could have changed everything! If I’d come one more minute earlier it would have changed everything.”
The Rosh Hashanah Scales
And that’s how we have to be ready for Rosh Hashanah too. You don’t need big things. לא הלכתי בגדולות ובנפלאות ממני – I didn’t aspire for things that are too big, things that are beyond me (Tehilllim 131:1). Of course, like I said in the beginning, big things are important; absolutely they are. But תפסת תפסת מרובה לא – If you try to grab too much all at once so you’ll be left with nothing; it’ll fall out of your hand. And therefore it’s the pennies, the golden pennies, that you have to be picking up.
And if we save these last pennies before Rosh Hashanah, we put them on the scale we’ll be surprised how heavy these pennies weigh. On the Yom Hadin when Hakadosh Baruch Hu is sitting in dread judgment on mankind, if you’ll have a few more golden pennies to put on the side of zechus you’ll be a very fortunate fellow.
Small Shabbos
You know this next Shabbos is the last Shabbos in the year. The last Shabbos! What a great thing it would be if we took this lesson and made our Shabbos just a little bit better. Everybody here of course is a strict observer of Shabbos, but if we made up our minds that this Shabbos we’re going to honor and understand a little more than ever before.
You have to remember what Shabbos is when you sit down to eat. Not just to eat in honor of Shabbos, although that’s a very good idea. But we’ll add a little more this Shabbos: When you sit down and eat so you’ll say or think, “I’m eating now in honor of the fact that Hakadosh Baruch Hu created the world out of nothing, that in six days He made the universe out of nothing.” Ah! And then you eat that piece of challah, piece of fish, piece of meat to celebrate that great event; that's the way to celebrate Shabbos.
The Grand Finale
And sing on this Shabbos too. If you don’t sing all year round, you have no voice, you're a monotone, sing anyhow. Honor this last Shabbos in the year.
You’ll say, “It’s nothing. It’s only small things.”
Absolutely not! That’s what we’re learning now; that there’s no such thing as small mitzvos. And we’ll take that lesson into the last week of the year too. The last few days of the year let’s remember the little things!
And if you will keep that in mind after Rosh Hashanah and make everything important, mah tov, very good! Because that means you learned the great lesson of ובחרת בחיים – Life is for the purpose of choosing to live successfully! And one of the most valuable choices you can make is to collect golden pennies!
Have A Wonderful Shabbos
let’s Get Practical
collecting Golden PenniesDuring this final week of the year I will make it my business to constantly “choose life” and collect “golden pennies”. Every day I will bli neder stop 3 times and spend ten seconds collecting another “small” mitzvah. I will also spend 30 seconds each day thinking about the “sins of the heels”, tiny aveiros which could cholilah make all the difference for my next year.
This week’s booklet is based on tapes:
87 - Golden Pennies | 113 - Bargains
425 - One Thousandth of a Defending Angel | 625 - Perfecting the Mitzvos
Listen: 718.289.0899 Press 1 for English and 2 for Thursday Night Lectures
