I was recently involved in the process of hiring a new menahel for a certain cheider, and was pleased to observe that the most important consideration for the selection committee was finding someone of good character who has an instinctive ability to connect with students. Naturally they also wanted a menahel who is a talmid chacham and has a number of other credentials, but his middos were more important to them, and this is as things should be.
That said, students should also have a sense of awe toward their menahel to some extent. A menahel isn’t just someone who hands out lollipops with a smile. However, especially in our generation where so many children are sensitive in many areas and also need more encouragement, the awe should be properly balanced with affection.
It’s also very important that parents properly appreciate the pressures that teachers are under (as the mother writing this letter clearly does). Keeping a large class of children under control and also teaching them is no easy feat. If a melamed is so intimidated by parents threatening him with dire consequences if he so much as raises his voice against a student, he won’t be able to teach at all.
