Question: Asking for forgiveness is a big deal. It is humbling and one needs to mean what they say. Now we are in the time of Slichot and on our way to Rosh Hashana, the 10 Days of Teshuva and Yom Kippur. Day after day we will tell Hashem about our transgressions and ask for forgiveness. But I feel like we are all just reading the words and there is little true feeling. It’s like we are just “checking the box” that we did it and then can go back to life. Why do it?
Answer: A well-know mashpia in Eretz Yisrael said, half-joking: why is there a break on Yom Kippur (after Musaf, before davening Mincha)? To give people a chance to do teshuva!
When a person transgresses one of the commandments, his sin creates a spiritual body and soul of klipa (impurity). The body is formed from the action of the sin and the soul is formed from the desire and delight in doing the sin. As it says in Tehillim, “my sin is always before me.” This body and soul of klipa causes obstacles, challenges and difficulties in our lives.
However, Hashem gives us teshuva and vidui (confession) to enable us to uproot and destroy this impurity.
Teshuva is comprised of: 1. resolving not to do the sin again (azivat hachet) and; 2. feeling remorse (charata). True remorse expresses an inner transformation. The person has uprooted their previous desire to do the sin. This change has the effect of destroying the soul of the sin, which was created from their desire. When a person learns Chassidus and gains a deeper awareness of Hashem’s greatness, his feelings of remorse intensify: “how could I have gone against the will of the Creator!”
Vidui is the utterance of the confessional prayer. Our physical words have the power to destroy the body of the sin. While it might seem we are just saying words, these words are an important part of the teshuva process. True, we want to feel remorse, yet saying words does have power.
About 30 years ago, I was frequenting Rabbi Posner’s Chabad House in Boston. I was beginning to become observant, but wasn’t fully on board. One evening, I confided to Rabbi Posner, “I haven’t put on tefillin for two days since I don’t even know why I am doing it.” I will always remember his response, “when you do not put on tefillin, you are like a nail in the drawer in the hardware store. When you put on tefillin, you are the nail that has been hammered into the building. You can now begin to understand how the whole structure fits together.” I never missed another day of tefillin.
True, we should strive for intentionality. Yet, as long as we are doing, we can come to feeling and understanding.
Aharon Schmidt, marriage & individual counseling, [email protected]
