The Difficulty of Introspection
We all know the Gemara’s statement, ,עליו באים שיסורים אדם רואה אם במעשיו יפשפש, if one sees that suffering comes to him, he should search his deeds (Berachos 5a). This principle is likely predicated on our Zohar HaKadosh, which tells us that the sole purpose of yissurim is to send us a message to introspect and rectify our deeds.
We have previously explained that many people learn this Gemara through the wrong lens.
An Improper Understanding
Let’s say that someone invested 100,000 in the hope that it will double in value, but in the end, the entire investment went to ground, and now he’s in debt. He’s in a quandary. He was smacked upside the head, and often this is accompanied by great humiliation as well.
Now, he can soothe himself by saying that it was surely bashert; it’s really good; I have surely spared myself a much worse fate; Hashem will repay me in other ways; etc. Thoughts like these are surely reassuring and will soothe a person in his agony.
When this person learns the Gemara in Berachos about introspection when yissurim come to a person, he may feel broken and denigrated from Above—as though he’s being told: “Can you attest that your shemiras einayim was the way it was supposed to be for the last ten years?! This is what happens when you’re not careful! Now you will pay for your misdeeds, with interest!”
Confused Thoughts
This person understandably becomes perturbed. Is this payback?! They’re going to take revenge from me?! Yes, I’m not perfect... I struggle with certain things... so, now I will have to suffer for this?!
Instead of thinking encouraging thoughts which will strengthen him through his ordeal, he thinks, “Of course, the Ribbono shel Olam is far stronger than I am, and now is the time that He’ll begin smacking me around.... But am I the worst offender?! What about my neighbor in shul who can’t stop talking during davening, and everything works out for him just fine? Doesn’t he deserve any of this?!”
Such thoughts prevent a person from focusing properly. He can’t think clearly about what he needs to repair and rectify. He is hurt and pained, and he can’t collect himself in order to be מפשפש in his deeds.
A Reminder That You’re Not the Boss
According to the yesod that we have learned in the Zohar HaKadosh, we derive tremendous chizuk when we search out and account for our actions—not with sadness or bitterness, but with joy.
If a person transgresses one specific mitzvah, he is sure be jolted from Above with a reminder that he has strayed—and that is the mitzvah of אלוקיך ה' אנכי, I am Hashem, your G-d. The mitzvah of emunah is to believe that the Ribbono shel Olam runs the world and conducts every event within it, and that we cannot do a thing to change the plan. No matter how much you invest, no matter what you try and do, you will be powerless—because you don’t have the ability to improve your situation or to extricate yourself from it.
Even when we do hishtadlus, it is only because we were commanded to engage in efforts, but this doesn’t change anything practically—the only way we can change things is by turning to Hashem!
Someone who thinks that he can improve things on his own—“I’ll do something... I’ll come up with an idea...” —transgresses the mitzvah of אלוקיך ה' אנכי, to believe that it is only the Ribbono shel Olam Who runs the world. If one engages in hishtadlus with the attitude that he’s thereby doing or changing things through these actions, he has committed an aveirah!
We All Need Chizuk for Complete Emunah
The reality is that we find ourselves in a world where everything seems contrary to the truth of our emunah. It is thus very difficult to remember it, and it is almost impossible to perform the mitzvah of emunah with perfection. There’s almost no one who can go without needing to be reminded periodically that he has moved away from this pure belief.
Tzaddikim would say: were the sefer Reishis Chachmah (which speaks at length about the horrors of Gehinnom) in the streets and the yetzer hara on the shelf, our avodah would be far easier. The reality is, however, that the yetzer hara is here, in our faces, constantly working so that we will forget אלוקיך ה' אנכי.
And since the entire purpose and success of a Yid in This World and in the Next World is dependent on this very belief, and the Ribbono shel Olam knows that the world is a dark place which conceals the truth, causing people—even those who work on their emunah and bitachon—to forget the truth—and when people forget their emunah they fall away from success ובגשמיות ברוחניות, spiritually and materially.
Therefore, out of His great compassion and mercy, He will remind us of it! He places us in situations where we have no recourse, and it becomes clear to us that we cannot help ourselves—and then we’re reminded of the truth that we’re completely dependent on the Ribbono shel Olam.
Finding the Measure
According to this, we can understand the conclusion of this Gemara, which states, “If one has searched his deeds and hasn’t found anything for which he could have deserved these yissurim, he should attribute them to bittul Torah.” People may ask: There are a million things that I must repair... where do I begin?
Rashi clarifies that a person must search for misdeeds that correspond to the yissurim that he incurred—מידה כנגד מידה.
“Bittul Torah” vs. Strengthening Emunah
Therefore, Chazal tell us that if he searched for things that could have brought the yissurim and didn’t find any, he should attribute it to the most basic tenet in the Torah: emunah! It’s like a rebbi whose students isn’t grasping the Gemara from one angle, and he explains it to him from another vantage point so he will get the main idea.
The same applies here: Sometimes, a person can find the root of his yissurim by searching מידה כנגד מידה, measure for measure. But sometimes, he isn’t successful in identifying it. In this case, go to the root of everything: the nekudah of emunah upon which all mitzvos are predicated! For the reason a person commits any aveirah is because he’s lacking in the אלוקיך ה' אנכי, his firm emunah in Hashem.
As Long as We’re on This Earth
When a person doesn’t see why yissurim came to him, he should know that the Ribbono shel Olam wants to strengthen his emunah. As long as a person finds himself on This World, he can use chizuk in emunah—to know with clarity, “I cannot do anything on my own; only the Ribbono shel Olam can help me!” This is the true meaning of תורה בביטול יתלה, to attribute it to bittul Torah—for all the 613 mitzvos are merely offshoots of this primary mitzvah of emunah. If you don’t find the offshoot, go to the root and strengthen your emunah and bitachon.
This is a tremendous principle for life: The Ribbono shel Olam places us regularly into situations wherein we have no recourse and no way out of them. This will happen to all of us, there will be יסורים עליו באים. And when this happens, you should know that this is a great act of compassion from Hashem so you will internalize אלוקיך ה' אנכי.
When you find yourself in this situation, it means that the Ribbono shel Olam wants you to abandon everything and rely only on Him. Then you have properly executed במעשיו יפשפש and תורה בביטול יתלה. You have taught yourself אלוקיך ה' אנכי, and this is indeed the greatest form of upholding the Torah.
