“For you are a special nation to Hashem, your G-d, and Hashem has chosen you to be His special nation from all the nations on the face of the earth.” (Devarim 14:2)
The Torah warns us not to gash ourselves over the dead, nor to tear out the hair on our head out of grief. The reason for this is that we are a nation set aside to be Hashem’s people, and He chose us. Simply understood, since we are the chosen people, it is unseemly for us to be physically brutalized and damaged.
Since we represent our Heavenly Father, we must be whole and beautiful. The world is watching. This applies not only to physical completeness and pleasantness, but to the same aspects spiritually. Our bodies and souls do not belong to us alone, but to Hashem, and we must live accordingly.
The prohibition here is not merely to not copy the ways of the non-Jews around us. Rather it is a recognition of a fundamental difference between them and us. When they mourn excessively, they are stating that an irretrievable loss has occurred. As Jews, we believe and are to understand that everything comes from Hashem.
Therefore, when we suffer loss, an expression of grief would negate the perspective that it was Hashem’s will for whatever reason He had. That said, mourning according to the Torah’s guidelines would be appropriate, and also an honor to Hashem’s will. Too much, though, would be a chillul Hashem.
Our lives are to be lived as an extension of Hashem’s presence in the world. Not because He needs us to live that way, but because we have been given the opportunity to resonate at this lofty frequency.
It came because our forefathers Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov worked on themselves and their connection with Hashem. This created the initial connection which we inherited. Further, though, we have the ability to connect in the same way, and Hashem has chosen us to continue what our Avos began.
They were able to bear all the challenges they did without questioning Hashem, or even being concerned that things were amiss, and this was something Hashem cherished. Their faith was born of their efforts to trust in Hashem and they bore fruit. This is what we are to strive for no matter what we go through.
When we conquer our doubts and trust in Hashem, we will be able to say, “My actions have approached those of my forefathers,” and the world will witness the greatness of stature of the Jewish People. There will then be no doubt that we are the chosen people, or why.
A wealthy fellow came to R’ Aharon Leib Shteinman zt”l with a problem. He had a Kollel he supported, but he was struggling in business and it was challenging to afford everything. R' Aharon Leib told him to add another 20 scholars to the Kollel and everything would be OK. It was hard, but the fellow accepted this advice. Within a few months, things had turned around in his business and he was doing very well. He asked, “Perhaps I should add more members to the Kollel now?”
R' Aharon Leib said, “No. That would be bad. You’d be unable to afford it.” Seeing the man’s confusion, he explained, “When you came to me last time, you realized Hashem was your only hope. Now, you think you’ve got the “magic formula,” and it won’t work.”
©2025 – J. Gewirtz
