Understanding the True Meaning and Purpose of Prayer
Reconciling Bitachon and Tefillah
As we have noted in the past, the Chovos HaLevavos emphasizes that the only way we can truly rely on the Ribbono shel Olam is when we internalize the feeling that “The Ribbono shel Olam knows better than anyone what is good for me.” No one in the world knows it—including the person himself—only the Ribbono shel Olam truly understands what is good for him.
When we hear such a yesod, we may think: If so, what’s the point in davening? The Ribbono shel Olam knows far better than I do what I need. He knows how much this pains me. He’s most merciful and compassionate, and He wants to help me more than I want to help myself—because He’s truly the embodiment of good. Thus, if, as a person davens, he knows that Hashem is doing the best thing for him regardless of what he wishes or says, this may take away some of the meaning in his davening.
To understand the entire concept and the interplay between tefillah and bitachon, let us examine the words of the holy tzaddikim who have taught us the tremendous yesodos in tefillah in a way that directly addresses this question—so that there’s no longer a question at all!
A Mature View on Tefillah
It is important to know that tefillah is just like any other aspect of Torah: If we don’t study and analyze it when we mature, we will retain the same appreciation and understanding of it that we had when we were children. A person who learned a pasuk in Chumash when he was five years old—even if he has learned it many times since then—may never have actually learned it through an adult lens. He never invested in understanding this part in Torah with mature lenses.
The same applies to tefillah. A person may have davened for dozens of years with a broken heart, and he truly means it. He thinks about what he’s saying, and he means what he’s saying—but he has never stopped to think about one question: What is davening in the first place?
A Deeper Meaning
The reason this person never contemplated it is because it was always so simple to him. What’s the question? Davening means asking Hashem for all our needs! The world was designed so that we can speak with the Ribbono shel Olam through tefillah, to praise Him through tefillah, and to ask Him for our needs through tefillah.
And because it’s so simple, people may never feel the need to stop and think: Maybe I don’t know at all what tefillah is really about? I want to study the institution of tefillah so I will really understand it and appreciate it.
The Mesilas Yesharim addresses this dilemma in his introduction to his sefer. Sometimes, he says, we think that something is very simple, when it’s in fact very deep. People don’t think about the depth of it, because they’ve already told themselves that they understand it. With tefillah, most of us have an impression that we know what it’s all about.
Simple Supplication
The truth is that when a person davens with the approach and the understanding of a five-year-old child, it is wonderful and very precious in Shamayim. When a Yid gets up to daven with purity and earnestness—a child speaking to his father about his needs: “Tatty, I need bread and tomatoes... I need to marry off my child... I need money... what will happen to me?”—this is precious and pure.
This is a true tefillah, and we should never minimize one who davens this way. In fact, precisely regarding tefillah, this purity is especially valued, and it is wonderful when a Yid remains with the pure temimus of a young child—and woe is to one who begins to approach his tefillah with sophistication and calculations. Tefillah should always be simple, direct, and pure... speaking to the Ribbono shel Olam in one’s own simple language, as we find with Dovid HaMelech in Tehillim as well as in Chazal regarding tzaddikim throughout the millennia.
Deepening Our Understanding
But this is no contradiction to the importance of understanding the concept and the idea of tefillah with more depth and understanding. When we learn the pesukim in Tehillim, and we see the way Dovid HaMelech speaks with such vulnerability and simplicity to Hashem, it doesn’t mean that this was the extent of his understanding, chas v’shalom. Surely his tefillah was on far higher a level than anything we can comprehend. Similarly, when a Yid davens with a simple understanding, he has certainly touched the real thing. But this doesn’t mean that he must remain at that level.
In ruchniyus, it always works this way. If we touch the tip of the truth, we have a connection to it. But we can always grow and advance. The Ribbono shel Olam gave us the Torah, which even a child can learn and understand according to his wisdom—and this is true Torah! But it’s a shame when we remain at that level for our entire lives. This child has learned truthfully and rightly—but he has only understood one of the millions of levels of depth that lie in every pasuk.
Similarly, it’s a shame to remain at a basic level of understanding in tefillah.
If We Understand Bitachon, We Must Understand Tefillah...
When we understand the sugya of bitachon on a deeper level, we have no choice but to analyze and study the sugya of tefillah on a deeper level, as we will explain.
If we place a strong emphasis on bitachon, and if we learn constantly that Hashem knows what’s good for us—He conducts the entire world, and it’s of no use to argue with Him, neither through segulos nor through tefillah, or other measures—then, viewing tefillah through our childish lens, this may seem like a contradiction. On one hand, the matter of bitachon became clearer, but the role of tefillah has become more obscure and complicated.
Let us therefore delve into the essence of tefillah as it has been explained to us by the tzaddikim—against the backdrop of a firm and grounded bitachon—and we will see that the two work perfectly together.
Davening Is a Reminder of Our Reliance on Hashem
Why We Thank Immediately
The Gemara (Berachos 34a) states that Chazal instituted the berachah of Modim immediately after all our many previous requests in Shemoneh Esrei because we’re akin to a servant who received a gift from his master and slowly backs away from him as he gives effusive thanks to his master for the gifts. The Mabit (a 16th-century sage who lived in Tzefas at the time of the Beis Yosef and the Ari HaKadosh) discusses this Gemara in his sefer Beis Elokim, and he asks: What kind of comparison is this?! After we have asked Hashem to fulfill our requests, can we be likened to a servant who has already received his gifts?!
Perhaps the Ribbono shel Olam will answer “no” to our requests. Why, then, are we considered like a servant who has already received a gift from his master? In fact, the Gemara a few dapim prior to this specifically states that it’s improper to assume that our tefillos will be answered in the way that we have asked them—for someone who does so will certainly experience heartache and disappointment.
Nothing Is Certain
Suppose a person is entertaining a shidduch for his child. He’s done some shidduch research, and he now meets with the parents of the other side to see if this is a fitting shidduch, and it’s beginning to seem serious. During the conversation, he says to the father, “Would ‘the mechutan’ like to do such-and-such?” Appalled, the other father says, “Excuse me! When did we become mechutanim?!”
When a Yid completes Shemoneh Esrei, and he thanks Hashem for the good that he has already received, isn’t he doing the same thing?! In fact, we might ask this person, “Where is your humility? You asked Hashem to send you parnassah, and He surely heard your prayer, but shouldn’t we wait to see how things turn out? If you’re thanking Him already, you make it seem like a done deal.” Thus, why have Chazal instituted that we give thanks before any yeshuah has arrived?
The Purpose of Prayer Isn’t for It to Be Answered
Explains the Mabit that the reason we can give thanks immediately after issuing our request is שייענה כדי התפילה תכלית היתה לא כי, because the purpose of prayer never was for it to be answered! If a Yid gets up to daven because he wants something from Hashem... he has made a big mistake.
If a person travels fifteen minutes just to knock on someone’s door to ask him for a favor, and we ask why he came here, he will say, “Because I hoped that this person will grant my request.” And if you know that he will have reasons not to grant it, would you still have come? Of course not. No one treks all the way just to get a no.
Says the Mabit. Don’t come to shul with this attitude—because it’s a big mistake. The purpose of tefillah isn’t so you get a “yes.”
Tefillah Tells a Story
What is the purpose of tefillah? Says the Mabit: it is solely שאין להורות ואין ,העולם בזה וכל מכל חסר שהוא ולהכיר ,יתברך לקל אלא להתפלל שראוי למי בעולם יתברך הוא אלא חסרונו לו שימלא מי, “To instruct [us] that there is no one in the world worthy of being prayed to except Hashem, and to recognize that a person is entirely lacking in this world, and that there is no one who can fill his deficiency except Him, blessed be He.” The purpose of tefillah is so that a person should internalize—at least three times a day, morning, noon, and night—that he lacks everything in this world, and that without the Ribbono shel Olam, he would be in very deep trouble.
We say דעת לאדם חונן אתה, we’re blessed with a good mind—but the entire enterprise is at risk. In one instant, I can be like the people whose brilliant sechel was taken away for a moment... and they lost everything they had with one silly mistake! How many young people do we know who are, R”l, losing their minds... remember this when you daven!
The same applies to the berachah of רפאנו. You’re healthy? Baruch Hashem for that! There are, unfortunately, so many people who are ill with such frightening and debilitating illnesses, may Hashem spare us. During every Shemoneh Esrei, we ought to give thanks that we don’t know of this, and we ought to acknowledge that we’re dependent on the Ribbono shel Olam for our health. Remember that we have nothing in this world if not for the grace and the mercy of the Ribbono shel Olam.
Salvation Is a Byproduct
The Mabit adds that the primary purposes of davening are 1. To help us internalize how reliant and dependent we are upon the Ribbono shel Olam, and 2. To serve as an opportunity for us to speak directly with Him, to unburden our hearts to Him.
The salvation and the shefa that we attain from Hashem listening to our tefillah, he says, is merely a byproduct—but it isn’t the purpose of our prayer. As an intellectual exercise, the Mabit urges us to think the following: If you were told in advance that your tefillah will not get you what you want, would you still daven and plead? If the answer is no, then you haven’t grasped what tefillah is—because the purpose of tefillah is not for us to be granted our requests. It is so we should internalize something—independent of whether the Ribbono shel Olam will later fulfill our request.
Always Thanking
The avodah of tefillah is to cement within our hearts the awareness of these two things: How reliant we are upon Hashem, and that only He has the power and the ability to help us. This is why we get up to daven. Later, the Ribbono shel Olam will decide what to do with our tefillos and how He will respond to them.
According to this important yesod, we understand why we recite Modim immediately after issuing our requests. We’re indeed not giving thanks for what we have just requested. We’re thanking Hashem for all the good we have in our life—since we have just emphasized to ourselves how much we have from Hashem. Tefillah is an exercise in awareness, and we have just internalized how much we have from the Ribbono shel Olam—so, of course, we must say Modim!
Pleading Incessantly?
There’s another question regarding tefillah that is answered through this understanding, says the Mabit. One may wonder, is it befitting and proper to ask for the very same thing hundreds and thousands of times? We daven three times a day, seven days a week, and we ask and ask, again and again. If we would try this with a king of flesh and blood, we would surely arouse his ire—for if he had wanted to, he would have fulfilled our request the first time.
If we ask a friend for a loan one time, and then another dozen times, he may become extremely annoyed with us. “I heard you the first time. I will think about it!”
If so, why do we daven to Hashem for the same thing thousands of times? What is this exercise in repetition all about?
A Reminder for Us!
But if we understand that the purpose of tefillah is to remind ourselves that there’s no one to rely upon but Hashem, then it makes perfect sense to do so over and over and over. Tefillah is made to remind ourselves that we have no parnassah—even when it seems that we do! It is designed to remind us that we have no health—even when we think that we do! For no one can provide our needs and rescue us from our troubles except the Ribbono shel Olam, and we ought to cast onto Him our entire burden.
The idea of repetition is to remind our feeble selves of these truths!
We must remember that the Ribbono shel Olam knows what we need even before we come to daven, and He needs no reminders. We don’t need to inform Him of our needs. We daven so we will remember how dependent we are on Him. And if so, no amount of reiteration will be enough.
We Have Nothing but for Hashem
This isn’t just a nice vort.... All the Rishonim and Acharonim teach us the same yesod: Tefillah is meant for us to remember, again and again, that even the things we think we possess aren’t really ours. We have nothing, and we’re dependent upon Hashem’s continued mercy every moment. An ehrlicher Yid understands that we don’t need to convince the Ribbono shel Olam to give us something. He knew—even before we davened—what we need, and He is good, and He will give us what is good.
The Mabit concludes with the pasuk (Divrei HaYamim I 16:35) ואמרו ישענו אלקי הושעינו, say, “save us” O G-d of our salvation. We come to daven before Hashem, knowing that we have nothing. But we have a G-d of salvation—a Creator of yeshuos— Who constantly extends to us mercy and kindness. This Yid remembers that there’s no one to whom to daven but Him, the G-d of salvation, Who can help, and He is the only One worthy of prayer and supplication.
Only the Ribbono shel Olam helps me always.
A Pure Prayer to Remember the Truth
Calling Often
The same yesod is also taught to us by HaChassid Rav Yosef Yavetz (a 15th-century sage) in his commentary on Tehillim regarding the pasuk באמת יקראוהו אשר לכל קוראיו לכל ה' קרוב. “Those who call out to Him” refers to those who have faith and trust in Hashem, and they know that there’s no salvation but for Him—and thus, they call out to Him constantly. This is the primary purpose of prayer: to remember and reiterate that no one and nothing can help us but the Ribbono shel Olam.
How do we know that a person isn’t reliant on anything but Hashem? When we see that he calls out often to Hashem, again and again. Such a person is called ",קוראיו" and then we are assured that Hashem is close to those who call out to Him.
Starting Over
He cites Rabbeinu Yonah, who says that there’s a great segulah when we have kavannah during chazaras hashatz, when the chazan repeats Shemoneh Esrei. If a person does so, it is assured that his tefillah will be accepted.
What is the essence of this segulah? He explains that when a person has just completed his personal Shemoneh Esrei, it may be challenging to start over again and have the same concentration and hope as we repeat it. If a person does so, it stems from the awareness and understanding that everything depends upon the Ribbono shel Olam—and he wants to remind himself this truth again. Even if he has just davened, he knows that there are never enough reminders! And so, he concentrates on the words of the chazan as he repeats Shemoneh Esrei.
Such a Yid has properly understood the essence of tefillah, and such a Yid will have his tefillah answered.
Repeat Requests
Rav Yosef Yavetz relates that there are countless stories of great tzaddikim who davened once—for rain, for example—and they weren’t immediately answered. But on the following day they davened again, and then their request was granted. Why is this? Because they understood how tefillah works—that it is designed for us to remember the truth. And this is why they davened again and again, for if we want to internalize the truth, we must daven again and again.
Right Where You Left Them
He explains that if a person stops davening when he isn’t immediately answered, this is a sign that he hasn’t understood the concept of calling out to the Ribbono shel Olam.
A mashal to this point is a person who has lost a valuable object, and he searches his entire home for it—beginning with the most likely places—but he still doesn’t find it. What does he do then? He begins looking in the most unlikely and far-fetched places.
But then, after this, too, doesn’t turn up the object, he thinks to himself: Don’t be silly. It’s not in any of these places. It must be exactly where I left it last night. But I didn’t find it the first time! Look again... look better. And indeed, looking a little better, he finds it exactly where it was meant to be. The glasses simply fell to the side of the bed... They were there all along. He simply needed to look a bit better.
That is, if we know clearly that the item is where it belongs, we will concentrate our efforts on finding them there. Even if we haven’t found it the first time, we will look again—because we’re confident that it’s here.
Only Hashem Is My Address
The same applies to tefillah. When a Yid believes wholeheartedly that the Ribbono shel Olam runs his entire life, he won’t turn anywhere else but to Him—even if he hasn’t seen instant results.
Then there’s a person who says, “Yes, I davened... but now it’s time to make practical efforts.” This person is essentially saying, “Apparently, my davening isn’t being accepted... I’ll go take care of the matter myself.”
Of course, we must do hishtadlus. But the ba’al bitachon does all this with aloofness and detachment—never forgetting to ask Hashem for help every step of the way, repeatedly, because he knows that everything is dependent upon Him.
The 100th Prayer Attests to the First 99
This is essentially the same yesod as the one made by the Mabit: When a Yid davens incessantly, continuing to daven hundreds of times, even after it seems that he hasn’t been answered—this reveals that the first 100 prayers were likewise not focused on getting what he wants, but on reminding himself that he’s dependent on Hashem.
Conversely, if a person becomes exhausted and discouraged when he sees that he didn’t get his desired results—this means that he never understood the concept of davening. It was always a means to his end. He very much wanted something, and this is why he davened. Had he known that his desire wouldn’t be granted, this person wouldn’t have davened even once. It’s a utilitarian exercise for him. He never grasped the real essence of davening.
Remembering Our Reliance
These early tzaddikim are teaching us that we never daven for the fulfillment of our desires, for how can a person ever know what’s good for him? How can we ask for something when that thing may be detrimental to us? The real purpose of prayer is for us to internalize—in our hearts and minds—that we’re reliant solely on the Ribbono shel Olam. The ba’al bitachon doesn’t daven with the attitude of: “I know what’s good for me, and I’m sure that the Ribbono shel Olam will give it to me.” Rather, he says: “I am completely dependent on Hashem, only He can help me, only He knows what’s good for me, and I plead with Him for my shefa.”
Such a Yid doesn’t stop davening his entire life—because he doesn’t daven for the fulfillment of his desires. He davens for the sole purpose of internalizing the truth that he’s reliant on Hashem.
