When we hear historical stories about the Spanish Inquisition, the Crusades, and so on, we realize that we don’t understand, and we are able to accept the Creator’s decree, because it is so far removed from us. When the story is about a grandfather who went through the Holocaust, we still remember his words of emunah, and this helps us. And how do we react when we hear that the Saba lost a huge amount of money in an unsuccessful business deal, and because of this Abba lost out on a large inheritance that would have enabled him to marry us off easily and buy us an apartment?
This is already a nisayon, but nonetheless, the pain of the actual loss is my grandfather’s, not mine. We can also accept Hashem’s decree for our friend or neighbor. But a nisayon that actually affects us personally — that’s where we need kochos. That’s where we need preparation. That’s why it’s so important to constantly practice, through the small nisyonos of the spilled coffee, missed busses, and broken air conditioners, to think along the lines of, “It is for my good that my cow’s leg broke. Everything is for the good!”
Naturally, we tend to run away from pain and difficulty. Even when we know that everything happens according to Hashem’s will, we want to get out of “narrow straits.” A person needs special wisdom, along with tefillah for a yeshuah, to be agreeable to the current situation as well, the situation that the all-merciful King brought upon him. In order for us to truly be able to think about this, we should thank Hashem for all His goodness, and through emunah in His goodness, we should also give thanks for this current situation. If this is for my good, it means that until now it was not shayach for anything to be better than this. There is some advantage, some hidden good, some type of tikkun, inherent in this situation, and if so, then this is what I want. These are the words of Rabbenu Bachyai at the end of the fourth perek of Shaar Habitachon: One who strengthens himself in bitachon “wants His decree,” and this is the polar opposite of refusing to accept one’s yissurim. Accept the hanhagah of Hashem with submission.
I heard from Harav Hechassid Rav Moshe Rotman shlit”a, who was the attendant of the heilige Tosher Rebbe for two decades, about the holy ways of the Rebbe, how the Rebbe reached the highest possible level of “wanting His decree.”
It was on Friday, the 18th of Teves. Reb Mordechai, the Rebbe’s son, along with his wife, had been making all the Shabbos preparations in the Rebbe’s house over the course of many years. On that day, Reb Mordechai was wrapped in tallis and tefillin, and after reciting Krias Shema, his heart gave way. He rose in a storm to the Heavens, without any prior signs of what was to happen. He was only in his fifties at the time.
One of the relatives had the job of informing the Rebbe. At first he told him that his son, Reb Mordechai, wasn’t feeling well. The Rebbe immediately opened a sefer Tehillim in order to daven for his refuah. The relative stood by, frightened and confused. How was he to now inform the Rebbe that the Tehillim he was saying were actually l’ilui nishmas his beloved son?!
When it came time for the levayah, there was no longer any alternative, and he told the Rebbe the truth. The Rebbe’s face had a special radiance as he justified the din and said, “Hashem gave, Hashem took. May Hashem’s Name be blessed!” His son was buried just before Shabbos was to begin.
Immediately after the levayah, when it was time to light Shabbos candles, the Rebbe saw that his newly widowed daughter-in-law was weeping uncontrollably. He reminded her calmly and serenely that Shabbos is a time when we stop crying, and it was the will of Hashem yisbarach that we bring in Shabbos with joy. There were many guests that Shabbos, and everyone saw how the Rebbe acted as happy and serene as on any other Shabbos of the year, except for one difference: At the conclusion of “Mizmor shir l’yom HaShabbos,” which we say in Kabbalas Shabbos, the Rebbe lifted his voice like the roar of a lion in a special, heart-piercing tune when he said the words “For Hashem is completely fair; He is my Rock, and there is no injustice in Him.” And all those who were present sensed the exalted acceptance of Hashem’s decree by a father suddenly bereft of his son.
During the shivah thousands of people came comfort the Rebbe. One of them said, “Hashem metes out good in greater measure than He metes out bad. May Hashem help that you have only good from Him from now on...”
This upset the Rebbe, and he said, from the purity of his heart, “He meets out bad? Why bad? Everything is chassadim and mercy from our merciful Father!”
These were the words of a Rebbe who had endured the horrors of World War II, lost his parents, siblings, and entire family. He was engaged at the time, and his kallah also went up in flames along with the rest of the kedoshim. After the war, he reestablished his home and was zocheh to have two sons and three daughters, and now his righteous, holy son was suddenly taken from him in the prime of his life, yet the Rebbe still called everything mercy and chassadim.
This is what it means to “want His decree.”
May these words be l’ilui nishmas the pure neshamah of the Tosher Rebbe, Rav Meshulem Feish ben Rav Mordechai Halevi Segal of Tosh zt”l, who was taken from us on 27 Av, 5775. May his merit protect us; amen.
(In honor of the yahrzeit, which is on Shabbos Parshas Re’eh.)
