Dear Alumni Sheyichyu!
Sholom U’Brocho!
Mazel Tov to Dovi Perelman on the occasion of his engagement. Mazel Tov to Moshe Hyman on the occasion of his engagement. May they use out the special period of Yokor Mikol yokor to its’ utmost! Mazel Tov to Rabbi & Mrs. Levi Rabiski on the birth of their daughter. Mazel Tov to Rabbi & Mrs. Zalman Bendet on the birth of their daughter. May they bring them up lTOveCHuMAA”T mitoch harchovo, and to be true chayolos! (If anyone is aware of any mazeltov’s that I omitted please let me know).
Thank you as always for the feedback, it is much appreciated.
The following incident is from a recent letter by R’ Sholom Mordechai Rubashkin, in which he shares a recent experience that he had. May he very speedily be able to share it with us in person:
In order to be able to use a room designated for children, that is brightly decorated and separated by glass from the regular visiting area, a parent (in prison) must first undergo a parenting program that takes place in the ‘Education area’ of this prison. Being that my small children would like to sit in that room (when they visit me), I needed to enroll and go to the Program. That is how I found myself sitting in a room with about 21 other inmates ready and willing to be taught how to be a parent.
The coordinator of the program was sitting there while everybody was signing in, and I naturally assumed that this bright woman would be the one who would be instructing the class for the 12 required lessons. Yet, when the class started, the one who was talking was none other than . . . a fellow inmate, who introduced himself as . . . . but that was from his previous life and now he likes to be called GIFTED!
‘WOW’, I thought to myself, ‘what a genius, when the students will be addressing him with questions, they will address him as GIFTED, and then whatever thought he offers will be coming from a man whose very name and being is GIFTED’.
Well, he begins to lead the class on parenting, and starts by telling everyone that he was never married. He further informs us that he has 4 children, and that he has been in prison for a very very long time, YET he has experience with children, and he is here to share his knowledge on parenting. He informs everybody that everybody’s opinion is a good one and that he wants to hear what they have to say. ‘Gifted’ gives a one and a half hour class by way of introduction and getting to know each other, and the first class is over.
Last week was the second class, the first actual learning class, and the subject matter of the first learning class on PARENTING is . . . . DIVORCE! Gifted has an opinion about DIVORCE and the children that are involved in the DIVORCE, and he is ready to teach it to us! He passes around the books that are to be read by the class as their sourcebook, along with some papers that have questions that we need to answer.
There is the quiet time associated with people studying the questions and then writing down their answers. After that is over, he says that he thanks everybody for their answers and for sharing their perspective on PARENTING, and proceeds to teach his answers. He acknowledges that the answers that he is proposing are not those that are presented in the textbook he gave. “BUT that is ok”, says GIFTED , “because the Book has its perspective, and we are entitled have our own opinion to the matter”.
Thus, the system endorses a course in PARENTING to be lead by GIFTED, in which, although a textbook about PARENTING is used, we are told NO MATTER, DONT PAY ANY ATTENTION TO THE BOOK, YOU HAVE YOUR OWN WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR WORLD AND THAT IS WHAT MATTERS. As a matter of fact GIFTED has risen from ??, has no qualifications in education, no qualification in Parenting and no qualification in DIVORCE (which – generally speaking – can only take place after being MARRIED). Yet he declares himself (and names himself) GIFTED, and now all of us 21 students will hear all the wisdom that GIFTED has to share with us. And if we see in the book something different, we now know that the books are just a bunch of professors, who studied in schools, and have had wisdom passed down to them from generations.
BUT that all is old stuff that our outdated parents have given us, it’s old fashioned from the 19 century, we are told in full glory, IGNORE THE BOOK, IGNORE THE KNOWLEDGE IGNORE THE EXPERIENCE, it’s what WE feel is the right way that matters! Have no worries or doubts, after all GIFTED himself says so!
Every story and occurrence has a crucial message and lesson for us in our avodas Hashem, and I think that there may be a simple and basic point that can be derived from the above experience (see separate attachment for additional analysis by R’ SMR):
Chazal tell us (Menachos 65B) that Rabi Yochanan ben Zakai (in a debate with a tzeduki regarding the time for sefiras ha’omer) exclaimed (to the tzeduki ) “Fool, isn’t our holy Torah as meaningful and weighty as your drivel?!”
When we see hanachos ha’olam , the worldly perspective, feel comfortable enough to take a particular stand – especially with the halachik backing of dina d’malchusa dina – in manners that we can clearly see amount to nothing more than foolishness, then we should at the very least be no less comfortable taking a comparable position that represents our holy Torah and G-dly ideology.
You see, in actual fact we strongly resemble ‘Gifted’ of the story. In the world out there, they’ve done years – centuries – of research. They had professors and scientists and scholars with college education and the most extensive training. And they put together the most advanced ‘textbooks’, with the results of their collective efforts; - they now can instruct us on how to achieve success. They can give us educated instruction on how to be happy and satisfied. And billions of people believe in their conclusions religiously.
They preach that you need to have a good job, and make a large salary, and relax, and chill out, etc. etc. It’s all spelled out very clearly in the ‘textbook’ of the world; it is irrefutable facts, who can argue. Countless big-time executives and professionals follow their formula, and when they feel something is missing, they pay top dollar to their psychiatrists/trainers etc. to help identify what is missing – according to the ‘textbook’ (that is the indisputable last word on the subject).
Then, one day, in walks a little 15 year old boy, a shnook. College education? Forget it! The kid didn’t have a day of formal secular education in his life, and the way he speaks English reflects that fact! Cool? No way! He dresses like someone who’s clueless, no idea about styles or anything. Not only that, but he’s pretty ignorant about anything important in the world. He’s got no idea (in most cases . .) who’s about to win the playoffs, nor could he even care less!
So, what does this pathetic teenager want in the fancy office? Well, you see, he’s ‘Gifted’, and he’s here to teach the wealthy 50-year-old executive how to run his life, and what he needs to do to attain success and satisfaction. He preaches to him about teffillin and Shabbos and Kashrus etc.
“Hey, kid, look at me. I went through high school, college, and then a prestigious law school. I built myself up into a successful career, with a fancy house and a good life. I have my picture in the papers, and my name is reckoned with. I am the proof of the ‘textbooks’ formula for success. I made it in life. You never experienced a thing yet in your short life, and you think you are going to teach me about success?!”
But the kid is undaunted. All of that is irrelevant. He actually expects you listen to him, because he speaks the truth. He says ‘disregard everything you’ve learned, everything you’ve read in all of your books, what you’ve been taught by your professors and professionals’. He is telling you what G-d wants (‘come on, you think I haven’t learned in the textbooks what G-d is in what it means’)
His position is illogical; it is even arrogant and insolent. And what is most maddening, is that the bochur couldn’t care less. He remains absolutely convinced of his position, and doesn’t even see the ridiculousness of it! You can have your years of education, your eloquent language and stylish dress (pierre cardin underwear . .), but he’s going to tell you in his broken English, politely (or not) and persistently, what you have to do. Until, ultimately, the businessman has to admit that – all of the above facts notwithstanding -, the young bochur does have a thing or two to teach him.
When it comes to life, the bochur is indeed “Gifted”, he’s learned things that all of the colleges and Universities (somehow) neglected to teach. So, the businessman finally rolls up his sleeves, and start getting a new perspective on life.
There’s nothing new there, we’ve all experienced it personally countless times. Yet, sometimes, hanachos ha’olam creep in, and start hacking away at our conviction. A little insidious voice starts whispering “come on, what are you so sure about, can the whole world really be wrong?”
And, when the 15 year old kid becomes a 22 – 23 year old chosson, and then a 25 year old husband and father, he suddenly finds himself wondering “indeed, how could I possibly be “happy” and “successful” without a decent salary, and the basic comforts (not luxuries ch”v but at least necessities) of life? Of course no question ch”v about teffillin or Shabbos or kashrus, but when it comes to a question of shlichus (where the facts just don’t add up, the salary just isn’t viable etc.) or business, he suddenly wonders “how, indeed, can I be so sure of myself, is the whole world wrong?”
You say the Torah prescribes this path, the Rebbe says that this is what he expects of us, therefore it is surely what will lead to ultimate success and happiness etc. But on the calculator, in the ledger, the numbers just don’t add up.
Suddenly, the conviction that we’re Gifted, that we have the truth, and nothing that goes on with the billions of people in the world can have any impact on that, becomes weakened. Indeed, how can it work, it really doesn’t seem viable?
But, just as we were sure of ourselves back then, so too we should be just as convinced now.
[Today was the Yohrzeit of my father a”h, R’ Refoel Menachem Nochum b”r Yitzchok Eizik z”l. My father was a businessman, who ran a successful furniture business for many years. Yet, his life was a reflection of his unmovable priorities, his conviction about what really counts.
Although he himself had gone to University, where he received a degree in engineering, and sent his children to English, in which he encouraged us to try hard and to excel, he did not hesitate to allow us to discontinue them if it would enable us to reach a higher standard in learning. Thus, for example, he gave his blessing for me to switch to a mesivta that was exclusively limudei kodesh (resulting in my becoming a high school dropout after tenth grade).
He told me (in his later years) that looking back he can now say assuredly that the degree that he received in University did not end up making any difference in his future livelihood. But the way he lived his life – his office over the years turned into a miniature beis midrash, where he devoted much of his time and energy to intellectual pursuits – reflected the conviction that the worldly formulas in general are not the key to success, and a persons path in life is dictated solely by the yearnings of his neshomo!]
The issue needs to be addressed more at length, I don’t want to risk simplifying it by a too short answer, so for today I will conclude with a story from the haorah of this week:
“The Jews were enduring a time of hunger. They were loyal to Hashem, they were steadfast in their Yiddishkeit, but it didn’t seem to be viable for them financially. The numbers just didn’t add up, they couldn’t make ends meet.
Along came Elisha, the Novi, and shared with them the Words of Hashem; - that tomorrow things would improve drastically. That by tomorrow they would see how everything worked out, not only were they not worse off than the heathen nations around them, but they would be immeasurably better off, experiencing unimaginable plenty in place of the horrible hunger.
Surely most people were encouraged by this prediction. But one person, a guard, was skeptical It just didn’t add up. He checked and double-checked the numbers, he figured out the greatest miracle that Hashem could perform (making windows in the heavens from which would rain down an abundance of food), and did his calculations.
And he voiced his conclusions: It doesn’t work. There’s just no way that our present situation should lead up to what Elisha has promised. It’s not an issue of faith or anything, it just doesn’t work mathematically.
Well, the rest is history.
The words of the Novi came to pass, to the last detail. And we have to derive the eternal lesson: We are Gifted! As long as we base ourselves on Torah, on G-dliness, on the directives of our Rebbe, then we can act with total conviction and should not entertain the slightest doubts. Not only are we treading the path that’s true and just, but it is the path that will ultimately bring us not only happiness, but success, and not only spiritually but materially as well.
It doesn’t make a difference what comes up in our calculators or quicken books, or what the executives (or our psychiatrists) insist. We can disregard all of that (because we are Gifted), and continue with certainty and conviction that the only truism are the words of the Novi – the word of Hashem -, that a life of Torah uMitzvos, of serving the Eibishter, of shlichus, is the sure path to “ VaHarikosi lochem brocho ad bli dai” – “Ad sheyivlu sifsoiseichem milomar dai dai dai !”
L’chaim! May we all work on retaining the temimus’dige belief in our “giftedness” that we had when we were young bochurim, and may the Eibishter do His part to bring about the actualization of all of the promises of the Nosi Hador – the Novi hador – in a speedy and revealed way “Ad sheyivlu sifsoiseichem milomar dai dai dai !”, and especially the main promise and nevuah about the immediate revelation of Moshiach Tzidkeinu TUMYM!!!
Rabbi Akiva Wagner
Lzchus 'r sholom mordechai halevi ben ,rivka lgeulah vyeshua krova ,vshleima yitom mamash
nulei r'amo 'r refael menachem nachum r'b yitzchak aizik lz
