Torah Tavlin
The story is told of a young widow who entered the study of R' Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l in an obviously distraught state of mind. In addition to the loneliness and pain she experienced since the passing of her husband, a sense of urgency seemed to be all about her. She had recurring pangs of guilt: she wanted to do something spiritual to memorialize her dear husband. Perhaps, she suggested, she should establish a free loan fund or contribute books to the Yeshiva library. Or perhaps there was an act of spiritual self-improvement that she should perform. She continued on and on for some time, occasionally letting out small sighs and sobs as she continued to talk about her husband's untimely passing and the tikkun - upliftment - she felt she should do on his behalf.
R׳ Shlomo Zalman, in his unique and inimitable way, waited patiently until she finished and then instructed her to listen to his advice very carefully. "I understand your need to do something spiritual as a tikkun for your husband's soul. This is my advice to you. Go out and buy some toys for your children, take them to the park and enjoy life with them. All this is a wonderful thing you can do for your late husband."
The woman, however, could not understand the meaning of the Rov's advice and once again, insisted that she would feel much better if there was something that she could do to memorialize her husband.
R' Shlomo Zalman shook off her suggestion and began to explain. 'The Torah instructs the Kohen Gadol to wear a מעיל - a four cornered blue-wool garment adorned with an array of gold bells and small pomegranates, when he enters the mishkan. If, however, he dares enter the sanctuary without that bell adorned garment, he is subject to a decree of untimely death. The bells teach us all a great lesson. Upon entering the Holy of Holies, the Kohen’s thoughts may become so focused on attaining the high level of spirituality that he may forget simple courtesy. Our Sages explain that the Torah is teaching a moral lesson: one should announce himself before entering any room. The search for spirituality can never supersede simple etiquette."
R’ Shlomo Zalman continued after a moment. "Forget the quest for the great spiritual tikkun and help your children rejoice in life. That will bring the greatest tikkun for your husband!"
