כי אם החרש תחרישי בעת הזאת רוח והצלה יעמוד ליהודים ממקום אחר ואת ובית אביך תאבדו ומי יודע אם לעת כזאת הגעת למלכות
“For if you will persist in keeping silent at a time like this, relief and deliverance will come to the Jews from another place, while you and your father’s house will perish – who knows, if perhaps this was the reason you were appointed as the queen.” (Esther 4:14)
There was a certain Jew who gave the shirt off his back to any and all comers. This person went to see the Rebbe Reb Bunim of Pishische. The Rebbe told this person that he should not act that way. The Rebbe explained that such behavior only demonstrates that he does not have the ability to say “no”. Such an attribute is not characteristic of gemilas chasodim. Gemilas chasodim is when a person makes a conscious decision: This person “Yes”; this person “No.” Some people are undeserving. When a person cannot say “no,” all it says about him is that he is not in charge of his emotions. That, per say, is not an admirable quality.
The Rebbe told this person a vort from the Chozeh of Lublin. The pasuk says that Yaakov was an: איש ת ם ישב אהלים (Bereishis 25:27). “Ish Tam” is normally translated as a “simple person” or a “naive person”, a person who knows no shtick, a man who does not know how to cheat – that is how we usually picture an “Ish Tam “!
And yet Chazal say that Yaakov Avinu said about his uncle, Lavan, “I am his match when it comes to trickery.” The Chozeh of Lublin asked – which is it? Was Yaakov an “Ish Tam” to whom one can sell the Brooklyn Bridge or was he:אחיו אני ברמאות - “Lavan’s match in trickery”? The Chozeh of Lublin answers that the description “Ish Tam” means that Yaakov had control over his temimus [his naiveté]. When the situation demanded temimus, Yaakov was a tam; but when the situation demanded that he not let a conniver run circles around him, he could be as full of tricks as the best of them.
This is why the Baalei Mussar say that when we describe a person who is a mensch, we call him a Baal Middos. The word baal means the person is the master. He is the “baal” [owner] over his middos. He can choose as necessary. Sometimes he will employ this characteristic and other times he will employ that characteristic. There is a place for humility and there is a place for being proud. There is a time and place to be forgiving and there is a time and place to stand up for one’s rights. There is a time to be a man of peace and there is a time to be a man of war.
We need to know when to employ each human attribute. Yaakov was an “Ish Tam” – he had control over his “temimus” but when the situation demanded it, he could act the other way as well.
If a person’s nature requires him to feed anyone that comes to him, no matter what, he has lost fulfilment of the specific mitzvah of hachnasas orchim. It tells us that his kindness and generosity do not stem from the fact that he is a true Baal Chessed. They stem from the fact that he has the type of heart that can never say no.
Based on this idea, the Bei Chiya (Rav Elisha Horowitz) explains the above pasuk. Mordechai tells Esther HaMalkah:כי אם החרש תחרישי בעת הזאת רוח והצלה יעמוד ליהודים ממקום אחר ואת ובית אביך תאבדו - “For if you will persist in keeping silent at a time like this, relief and deliverance will come to the Jews from another place, while you and your father’s house will perish”. This is the time to go to Achashveirosh and plead for your people. If you keep quiet now, you and your family will be wiped out.
The question is, what is meant by the expression: בעת הזאת – “At a time like now”? What does it mean “At a time like now”? Of course it is “now”! It is always “now”. What was Mordechai emphasizing by this expression?
Chazal say that Esther HaMalkah possessed the middas hashtikah [the attribute of remaining silent]. She had the capacity to keep quiet. Some people cannot keep quiet, Esther had an inborn capacity to remain silent. The Medrash (on the words “And Esther revealed nothing of her kindred and her people” (Esther 2:20)) says that Esther received this strength of character from her ancestress Rochel. Rochel kept quiet. She did not reveal to Yaakov the secret that it was actually going to be Leah under the chupah. Esther inherited Rochel’s middas hashtikah. Chazal point out that Binyomin, the son of Rochel, possessed this family trait as well. He knew the secret of the sale of Yosef and he refused to share it because of the cherem [ban of excommunication] the brothers imposed on anyone who revealed it. Likewise, Shaul (who also came from shevet Binyomin and descended from Rochel) also kept quiet. Finally, by Esther as well it is written that, “Esther did not reveal her national origin.”
The middah [attribute] of silence is a great thing. However, Mordechai tells Esther there is a time and place for everything. Yes, you possess the middas hashtikah, but if you will remain silent AT THIS TIME, tragedy will occur. NOW is not the time for silence. Now is the time to speak up. If you, Esther, are really in charge of your middas hashtikah then you will demonstrate that ownership.
There are people who keep silent because they are shy. There are people who are quiet and introverted. They cannot open their mouths. “Esther, now is the moment of truth. Why are you a “shosekes” [silent one]? Are you silent because that in fact is your middah, which, in this situation demands that you do not keep quiet, or are you merely shy and introverted? Esther, show your true colors: Are you in charge of your middas hashtikah, or is it in charge of you?”
[With this concept, we can explain the following idea: All the shevotim had a unique stone in the choshen worn on the Kohen Gadol’s chest. The stone of Binyomin is yoshpeh. The word yoshpeh (ישפה) is made up of two words: יש and פה, meaning “There is a mouth.” Binyomin had the middas hashtikah. Why did he possess the middas hashtikah? Was it because he was too shy to open his mouth? Chazal say, no. His trademark stone was, יש פה - “I have a mouth.” I am able to speak when the situation demands it, BUT when the situation demands me to keep quiet – if they tell me do not reveal the secret of the chet of selling Yosef – then I am able to keep quiet. Someone who has a mouth, but can keep it closed, demonstrates that he is a baal of his shtikah.]
This too may be the interpretation of the end of Mordechai’s warning:ואת ובית אביך תאבדו - “You and your father’s house will be destroyed.” Why is Esther’s father’s house brought into the picture? It is because Mordechai is telling her that if you go ahead and keep quiet now, this will retroactively reveal that your whole genealogy – Rochel, Binyomin, Shaul – did not keep quiet because they controlled their “attribute of silence”, they kept quiet because they were naturally shy people.
Show me by speaking now, Mordechai told Esther, that the middas hashtikah that is part of your genealogy, part of your heritage, part of your family, does not come from the fact that you have introverted genes. Show me that your entire mishpacha [family] had the ability to control their silences, based on the needs of the moment. (R’ Frand)
