ויתרוצצו הבנים בקרבה ותאמר אם כן למה זה אנכי
“And the children agitated inside of her and she said ‘if so, why should I be (pregnant)’?”
Chaza”l teach that when Rivka would pass a place of Torah study, Yaakov would kick as though he was trying to go out. When she would pass by a place of Avodah Zarah, Eisav would kick as though he wanted to go out. Unaware that she was pregnant with twins, Rivka was distressed because she thought that the child that she was carrying was spiritually confused, gravitating towards both the service of Hashem and idolatry.
Once she was told that she was carrying two children, each with their own nature, her mind was set at ease. Yaakov and Eisav in the womb, represent the two souls in conflict, that rest within us. Like Yaakov, our G-dly soul desires holiness and connection to Hashem through Torah and Mitzvos. Like Eisav, our animalistic soul inclines towards the path of materialism and sinfulness.
This is why we may experience moments of inspiration and a powerful desire to Daven, learn Torah or keep Mitzvos, and in the very next (or perhaps even in the same) moment, we have thoughts or desires of sin. Without the awareness that these two polar drives are coming from two different sources within us, a person could feel that this must be a sign that service of Hashem is not genuine and that it they are a fake. Alternatively, a person may feel shameful and unworthy of serving Hashem.
Chassidus teaches that since each of these drives comes from a different soul, our moments of inspiration and our service of Hashem is 100% true and real, and nothing can take it away from us.
At the same time, we also have an Eisav within, that we can now identify and work on trying to control.
