Public Modesty Between Couples
By Rabbi Aryeh Citron
The Torah portion of Toldot tells about Yitzchak and Rivkah’s sojourn in the land of the Philistines. When they arrived there, Yitzchak announced that Rivkah was his sister, similar to what Avraham said about Sarah when they came to Egypt and (later) when they came to the land of the Philistines (see Gen. 12 and 20). Both Avraham and Yitzchak feared that if they would say they were married, the local officials would kill them and take their wives.
The verse (Gen. 26:8) says, “And it came to pass, when he had been there for many days, that Avimelech, king of the Philistines looked out of the window and saw... וְהִנֵּה יִצְחָק מְצַחֵּק אֵּת רִ בְקָה אִשְתּוֹ Yitzchak was jesting with his wife Rivkah.”
Let us examine the exact meaning of this verse:
“Many Days”
What is the significance of the “many days” that led to the incident described in the verse?
- No Danger
Rashi and the Rashbam explain that since Yitzchak and Rivkah were there for a long time and no one had threatened Rivkah, they decided it was no longer necessary for them to pretend to be siblings. - Staying Single
According to the Yeri’ot Shlomo (by the Maharshal of Poland, 1510 - 1573), when Avimelech realized that a long time had passed and the (supposed) siblings Yitzchak and Rivkah were not marrying anyone, he began to suspect that they were married to each other. He started paying attention to their behavior in order to confirm his suspicion. - After the Mourning
The Midrash (Bereishit Rabbah 64:5) says that the verse is referring to the fact that the mourning period after the passing of Avraham was over. (This seems to be referring to Yitzchok’s personal mourning period rather than the halachic mourning period which is only seven days. See Pirush Maharzu on the Midrash.)
“Jesting”
As far as what the word מְצַחֵּק/metzachek means , the commentaries have different opinions:
- Showing Affection
The Ohr HaChaim (first interpretation) writes that they were being affectionate in a manner that indicated they were married. - Playing
The Chizkuni explains that the word מְצַחֵּקis not referring to the act of intimacy but rather to the affection usually shown before intimacy. He cites the verse in Gen. 39:14 to prove his point. There it says רְ אוּ הֵּבִיא לָנ וּ אִיש עִבְרִ י לְצַחֶק בָנוּ בָא אֵּלַי לִשְכַב עִמִי וָאֶקְרָא בְקוֹל גָדוֹל. The word לְצַחֶק can mean to show (improper) affection. (I.e. The wife of Potiphar was saying that her husband had brought Yosef who was now behaving inappropriately by assaulting her.) While לִשְכַב עִמִי is referring to forbidden relations. He writes that the word מְצַחֵּק cannot be referring to actual intimacy since Yitzchak and Rivkah would not be intimate in a situation where they could be seen by others. - Intimacy
Rashi (based on the Bereishit Rabbah ibid) says that they were engaged in marital intimacy. This opinion needs further explanation for several reasons, as explained below:
During the Day
The event described in the verse seems to have happened during the daytime hours since Avimelech was able to see them through a window. As such, we need to understand how Yitzchak and Rivkah could be intimate during the day when this is forbidden according to the halacha (see O.C. 240:11). (Please note that this is only a question according to Rashi who translates מְצַחֵּק as intimacy but not according to the Ohr HaChaim and Chizkuni who translate it as “being affectionate.”)
The commentaries offer several explanations:
- As a Torah scholar, it was permissible for Yitzchak to be intimate with his wife even during the day, under certain circumstances (Ohr HaChaim, see Ketubot 65a and O.C. ibid).
- The room in which Yitzchak and Rivkah were located was completely dark. In such a situation it is permissible for a couple to be intimate even during the day (see ibid). The verse which says that Avimelech looked through the window should be understood to mean that Avimelech noticed Yitzchak closing the window of his room and understood that he was doing so in order to be intimate with Rivkah (Riva - Isaac ben Asher HeLevi, a student of Rashi).
Modesty
The commentaries also wonder how Yitzchak could have been intimate in a manner which could be seen in public as this seems inappropriate. Several explanations are given:
- Closed Window
Some say (see above) that the window was closed and that Avimelech realized what was going on when he saw Yitzchak close the window. - Sorcery
Others say that when it says, “Avimelech looked through the window,” it means that he looked through a special window which he would use to gaze around the world with his powers of sorcery. Through this window he perceived a male and female demon which he took as a sign that Yitzchak and Rivkah were married (Tzror HaMor by Rabbi Avraham Saba of Spain and Morocco 1440–1508).
