The children were running within her. (Bereishis 19:29)
“Were running” – Chazal interpret that when Rivkah would pass by the entrances to the places of Torah of Shem and Ever, Yaakov would run and squiggle to get out. When she passed by the entrances of places of idol worship, Eisav squiggled to get out. (Rashi)
We see from this teaching of Chazal that Yaakov and Eisav had different characters even when they were still in their mother’s womb. If so, how could we expect Eisav to be anything other than wicked? We see it was ingrained in his nature.
This question brings us to a basic principle that we all need to know. Everyone sometimes finds himself in a situation that is spiritually challenging. When this happens, people often feel it is not fair they were put into such a situation.
But we need to know that no situation is intrinsically good or bad. It all depends on what the person does with it, and this is what makes it good or bad.
For instance, let’s say a person has a poor head. His memory is terrible. It’s difficult for him to think things through. Is this a blessing or a curse? It depends what he does with this head that he has.
Let’s say he works hard, again and again, putting in great effort to understand a few lines of Gemara, until in the end, he grasps the sugya. He should thank Hashem every day for making him so untalented, and nevertheless granting him the ability to become a masmid, and be connected to Hashem, and accept upon himself the yoke of Torah and mitzvos.
Let’s say he doesn’t try to toil in Torah. He decides that it is too hard for him to learn, and he has no chance to succeed, and he might as well give up already. Then his poor head is a curse.
Either way, it’s not his poor head itself that is good or bad. He decides what he is going to do with his head, how he is going to handle the situation, and this determines whether it is a blessing or a curse.
Here’s another example. Somebody lives his life among people who are distant from Torah. His home is in an area where observant Jews are few and far between. Is this a blessing or a curse? Good or bad? I know people who lived in neighborhoods like this, and it actually caused their children to grow up into fine Jews and outstanding talmidei chachamim. Because the parents watched over them carefully and learned with them all the time. They invested greatly in their children, and as a result, their children came out diamonds.
But someone else who lives in such a neighborhood might have children who hang out in the street with bad friends and just end up wasting their lives.
So, is a neighborhood like that good or bad? A blessing or a curse? It all depends on what a person does with it. He can make the situation either positive or negative, but on its own, it is neither.
Some people wish they were born two hundred and fifty years ago, and lived next to the Vilna Gaon. They think that then, everything would have been different.
Who says it’s better to be born and grow up next door to the Vilna Gaon? Maybe yes and maybe no. It might be better to grow up in Nebraska. It depends what you do with it. If it makes you become a fine Jew and a real talmid chacham, it is the greatest blessing you could possibly get.
There is a wonderful allusion to this principle in the teaching of Chazal that says when a person is created, Hashem decrees in advance whether he will be smart or stupid, strong or weak, rich or poor. But Hashem does not determine whether he will be tzaddik or rasha. That part is left up to the person himself.
Some people have a hard time with this idea. They think that if Hashem decided they will be poor, stupid and weak, the probable outcome is they will also be rasha. But this is a mistake. A person can take his stupidity, his poverty and his weakness, and make himself into a greater tzaddik than if he had been born with every positive quality.
This answers the question we posed regarding Yaakov and Eisav. We asked if Yaakov had a predilection to the beis midrash before he was even born, and Eisav had the same but for avodah zarah, how is that fair? Isn’t the outcome predetermined?
The answer is each of them definitely started from a different point. But Eisav, with his negative traits, could have grown to be many times greater, if he had so desired.
And Yaakov’s innate kedushah could have tripped him up. Someone else in his place, on his madreigah, might not have felt a drive to learn fourteen hours straight when he came to the beis midrash of Shem and Ever, to give up sleep, to sweat and toil over Torah learning and avodas Hashem. Why should he, when he is naturally a genius and endowed with all positive character traits? What’s so terrible if he sleeps a little? Will he turn into a rasha because of that? He already knows the entire Torah, which he learned from his father Yitzchak!
But no. Yaakov used his situation to grow further. He toiled and toiled until he grew to be one of the Avos Hakedoshim. Until he became the pillar of Torah.
Nothing determines whether a person will be tzaddik or rasha, good or bad. It all depends on what a person makes out of his situation.
