Havoc at Funeral

Upon the arrival of Yaakov’s funeral procession at Me’aras HaMachpeilah, the mourners were met by Yaakov’s evil twin brother, Eisav. He claimed that this burial place rightfully belongs to him.

As we go to press, TNS reports that the speediest son of Yaakov, Naftali, is racing back to Egypt to retrieve the contract proving his father’s ownership of the burial plot.

Meanwhile, one of the grandsons, Chushim son of Dan, who is deaf, was extremely agitated, “Outrageous! Eisav is delaying my holy grandfather’s burial! I can’t believe everyone is standing here doing nothing! I’d better take matters into my own hands!” What will happen next is anyone’s guess. Stay tuned for updates...