he was real about: אֵּין עוֹד מִלְבַדוֹ there exists nothing other than Hashem! It’s all Min HaShamayim and all L'tovah. He is now stuck with a plan B that he tried so hard to avoid.
In my shul on Shabbos, I bentch Rosh Chodesh; and as soon as I came to shul, I thought of a new Niggun for: יְחַדְשֵּהוּ. I was excited over it, and I kept Chazzering (reviewing) it. In the end, I forgot the Niggun, and instead I had a plan B Niggun, but I accepted my disappointment. Hashem rewarded me for my acceptance of the plan B Niggun, and recently my Vaad sang an unusually Geshmake warm Niggun, which never happened before.
Hashem Gives Us Tremendous Schar When We Accept All Kinds of Disappointments
An old Novardoker wanted a certain Chashuva Bachur for his daughter, and despite all his Tefilos and coaxing, she insisted on another Bachur who seemed much less Chashuv. I remember how he kept repeating how it’s all Min HaShamayim, and he worked hard on being Davka satisfied with the “plan B” Bachur. In the end, this plan B Bachur started Shteiging, and he became the pride of the family.
I would venture to say that the reason why Yaakov was Zoche to the: י"ב שִ בְ טֵּ י קָ ה twelve holy Shevotim, the biggest giants and Tzaddikim in Klal Yisroel, was because he was so accepting to plan B (the surprise of Leah). The same with all of us who are often tested with all kinds of plan B’s; our family, our Parnasa, our level of growth. Hashem gives us tremendous Schar when we accept all kinds of disappointments and turn a Bedi’eved into a Le’chatchila, as if we really want our depressing and painful plan B’s.
There is no end to the Schar בָּזֶה וּבַבָּא (in this world and in the next) of a person who is M'vatel his Ratzon to the Ratzon of the: בּוֹרֵּא עוֹלָם Creator of the world, and the more he decides (with a Shtoltz) that “I love my plan B”, the more He is relaxed, and Hashem is M'vatel the Ratzon of others to his Ratzon.
If You Are Undergoing Sin'ah, Hashem Surely Has Rachmanus on You, And You Will Receive Lots of Goodness from Shamayim
Hashem heard )?( that Leah was: שְנוּאָה hated? It also says: וַיַרְ א ה' כִי שְנוּאָה לֵּאָה ויצא כט
לא Hashem saw that Leah was hated. He saw that she experienced Sin'ah? There is no doubt that Yaakov Avinu, the: בְּ חִ יר שֶ בְּ אָ בוֹת greatest of all three Avos, had no Shaychus with that lowlife Midda of hating humans. (Ohr HaChaim). Sin'ah is strictly Eisav’s territory and his specialty. Or Hamas terrorists, who love having a “hate-mode” so they can feel good and important about their “extremely vital” activities. But Yaakov Avinu is a person who enjoys loving people, even to perfect strangers, to whom he says: אַחַי מֵּאַיִן אַתֶם כט ד “My brothers, from where do you come”, and when he said: אַחַי “My brothers”, he sincerely felt like a brother.
It says: וַיֶּאֱהַב גַם אֶת רָחֵּל מִלֵּאָה כט ל Yaakov loved Rochel “more than” Leah, meaning that he also loved Leah. So the “Sin'ah” (dislike) towards Leah was: דַ קֵּ י דַ קוּת microscopic and impossible to understand. (R' Chaim Shmuelevitz Zatzal).
Similarly: וַיַרְ א ה' כִי שְנוּאָה לֵּאָה ויצא כט לא
The Eidele Yid speaks with Eidelkeit, and is warm and loving, full of goodness and peace-loving
“Hashem saw that Leah was hated” must be: בְּ דַ קֵּ י דַ קוּת microscopic. Besides, Yaakov was surely not O’ver (transgress) on: לֹא תִשְנָא אֶת אָחִיךָ בִּלְבָבֶךָ קדושים יט יז You shall not hate your fellow Jew in your heart. A: לַ או דְ אוֹרַ יְ יתָ א law of the Torah! Yet, Hashem is: מָלֵּא רַחֲמִים full of compassion on poor Leah, who is undergoing microscopic “Sin'ah”, therefore וַיִּפְתַח אֶת רַחְמָהּ ויצא כט לא so He gave her children. The lion’s share of Klal Yisroel descend from Leah!
How happy we have to be about all the antisemitism (which is real Sin'ah). Without a doubt, it brings us tremendous: הַ שְ פָּ עוֹת טוֹבוֹת goodness from Shamayim. How thankful we have to be to those many anti-Semites, who promote more and more Rachamim for Klal Yisroel!
There Is a Time and Place Not to Be a Pushover, And Be Well Aware of Your Self-Worth
Yaakov tells Lavan openly that he owed him a “thank you”, since all his success was because of him. There is a time and place where a person can praise himself, and give himself credit for the success of others. Yaakov also elaborates on what a good and honest job he did for Lavan. אַתָה יָדַעְתָ אֵּת אֲשֶר עֲבַדְתִיךָ ל כט You know how I served you with dedication.
And later on, he describes his Mesirus Nefesh in working for Lavan. “In the 20 years that I worked for you, no ewe (sheep) miscarried. I would bear the loss of any that were stolen or mangled. By day, the heat consumed me, and frost by night, and without sleeping. Yet you switched my wage 100 times, etc.” Look how Yaakov elaborates in defending himself, and putting Lavan in his place.
Similarly, we find Avraham said to Melech Sedom: וְלֹא תֹאמַר אֲנִי הֶעֱשַרְ תִי אֶת אַבְרָם יד כג You will not take credit for my financial success (and to: עֶפְרוֹן Efron also). The Avos were great Anavim, but they weren’t pushovers, and they were well aware of their self-worth.
Being On Fire in Avodas Hashem Puts the Yetzer Hara Totally Out of The Way
Yaakov shmeared the stone with oil. The Meforshim say that this was a forerunner of the Mizbeach and the Kelim (vessels) of Bais Hamikdash which needed to be shmeared with oil. Oil is the source of fire, and on the Mizbeach there was a Mitzva of: אֵּש תָמִיד תוּקַד עַל הַמִזְבֵּּחַ לֹא תִכְבֶּה צו ו ו preserving a constant fire. This could be a Remez to Yaakov Avinu, who was entering the Treife world of Lavan. Tricky Lavan symbolizes the “tricky” Yetzer Hara, which tricks us by making it seem like a Mitzva when it's really an Aveira. And just like the: וְהַנָחָש הָיָה עָרוּם בראשית ג א sneaky “snake” was “cunning”, Chazal teach us to be: עָרוּם בְּיִרְ אָה ברכות יז א shrewd and cunning in Yiras Shamayim!
The oil symbolizes fire, to teach us that a Yid needs always to be on fire in Avodas Hashem (like R' Ahron Kotler Zatzal, whose Yahrtzeit was this Tuesday, 2 Kislev) which puts the Yetzer Hara out of the way entirely. Although oil is itself not fire, only potential fire, yet if a Yid shows a connection even with “potential” fire, it will also give him much Siyata Dishmaya.
Yaakov is the symbol of Milchemes HaYetzer, since he had the Yetzer Hara with him in the same belly (Eisav), and he had to literally fight with the Malach of Eisav.
The true way to conquer the Yetzer Hara is with the fire of Torah, or Mussar B'hispa'alus (or both). For good reason Yaakov was the Torah-part of the Avos, and he learned 14 years before going to Lavan. Lots of Torah is the best preparation for the Yetzer Hara!
A Special Ayin Tova Type of Person Can Insist on Seeing Good Even in The Worst People
When Yaakov came to Aram, he saw Rochel bas Lavan, “the brother of his mother”, and the sheep of Lavan “the brother of his mother”. Rivka is mentioned again and again. Rivka was the one who first suggested that he go to Lavan. And it was: וְרִ בְקָה אֹהֶבֶת אֶת יַעֲקֹב Rivka who loved Yaakov. Perhaps she already knew that he would end up with Lavan, and she was experienced in dealing with the Yetzer Hara called Lavan. Look how Rivka sends him to such a Rasha, whom she was happy to leave. When Eliezer asked her, she said that she would leave, even without her family’s consent. Yet, despite her knowledge of the evil of Lavan, she still told Yaakov to go there!
Rivka also knew the wickedness of Eisav, and this is why she insisted the Yaakov steal the Brachos. Yet, she thought: עַד אֲשֶר תָשוּב חֲמַת אָחִיךָ כז מד that Eisav would cool off of his Sin'ah; which still hasn’t happened! And she said: לָמָה אֶשְכַל גַם שְנֵּיכֶם יוֹם אֶחָד כז מה Why should I lose both of you in one day! Look how she could love and hate the same person! This is similar to Dovid, who trusted Shaul even after Shaul tried to kill him 3 times.
When A Person Has Ayin Tova and Sees Good in People, Hashem Uplifts Him
Chazal say that if a person has Ayin Tova and sees good in people, Hashem uplifts him. It takes a special Ayin Tova type of person to insist on seeing good even in the worst people! Eliezer picked her, because he felt she would fit into Avraham Avinu’s house. Avraham Avinu was known for Ayin Tova (עַיִן טוֹבָה מִתַלְמִידָיו שֶל אַבְרָהָם אָבִינוּ אבות ה יט). The Chesed these people did, wasn’t just a dry action. It was proceeded by having a high opinion of humans. Avraham Avinu stood up for Sedom! And he became: נְשִ יא אֱלקִ ים אַתָה בְּתוֹכֵּנוּ כג ו a prince, and Rivka was Zoche to his family. These people were like Hashem, who said: מַעֲשֵּה יָדַי טוֹבְעִין בַּיָּם וְאַתֶם אוֹמְרִ ים שִ ירָה מגילה י ב My handiworks (the Mitzri'im) are drowning in the ocean, and you are singing Shira?
Novardok: The Weakling Shall Say: I Am a Gibbor!
A couple told me how their cute tiny kids are giving them a “run for their money”, and are running the house. The parents are both sweet and gentle people, who desperately need to work on their Middos and become strong, happy, tough, assertive, and fearless; not sensitive, or worrisome, or apprehensive, and all kinds of weaknesses. הַחַלָש יֹאמַר גִבּוֹר אָנִי יואל ד י The weakling shall say: I am a Gibbor!
Especially Novardok (and Slabodka) is perfect for them. But not working on Middos is a big Yetzer Hara, since working on Middos saves you from all kinds of Ruchaniyus and Gashmiyus problems. People can change if they cared enough, and realized how working on Middos can give them a much happier and pure life.
A Yid has to feel strong like a soldier (including women, who are indeed called Eishes “Chayil”). Being sensitive and petty about careless remarks that people give you can ruin a person’s life, Chas V'shalom. Instead, be strong and unsensitive B’shita (officially), and look down at getting involved in low-life stupidities.
When you follow the Velt of Daas Baalei Battim who say: “You take that from him”, you don’t know how to laugh off other people who “hurt” you. “How can you live with a critical spouse? Nebach!” If you have no backbone, and you don’t value breaking Middos, then everything is hard. אֵּין הַתוֹעֶלֶת וְהַנֶזֶק מִן הַנִבְרָא אֶלָא מִן הַבּוֹרֵּא חובות הלבבות שער הבטחון פרק ד People cannot help you or harm you; only Hashem can; who sends people (including spouses) to test you, so you can become great and strong.
We also see how strong Moshe was. After breaking the Luchos, he smashes the Eigel. The Anav Mi'kol Adam was super tough, and no “pushover”! A Yungerman asked me advice about going to a Simcha where many people will besiege him to raise Tzedaka for them, and he can’t say “No”! And the magnitude of his involvement in Tzedaka causes are hurting his Ruchaniyus...
So I told him to Davka go to the Simcha, and to work on being a “mean” person. It is known that R' Elyashiv Zatzal was very strong in closing his doors to people who were disturbing him. He said that he liked Novardokers for this reason; i.e., that people couldn’t push them around.
