Of course, he goes to visit 770 as often as he can, and he knows that he derives strength from there to continue. But afterwards, he returns “home”.
But Yaakov, at the end of the 14 years, after all of the progress he had made during that time, was unequivocal. I am here for an important purpose, I had a crucial mission that I needed to carry out there. But never did I become comfortable here. This is not my place and not my land. After 14 years (and surely the same was true later as well), I know that I am only here by necessity, and the moment I can, I will return to Eretz Yisroel, to Yitzchok, which is the only place that I can call my place and my land.
At no point did Yaakov become, ch”v, desensitized or indifferent. He was always conscious that his standards were the standards of “geder kedusha”, - of holiness, chassidishkeit and emess. He never forgot that the glamour and glitter of the world, of olam hazeh, was the antithesis of everything that he stood for, and – regardless of how much he needed to work with it – it could never become his place. He knew that the moment he would be able to leave, then and only then could he be going to his land and his place.
R’ Heschel Ceitlin a”h was a chassidishe Yid living in Montreal. When the Rebbe spoke (one of the times) about the importance of owning a home (rather than renting, - something the Rebbe frequently advocated), he wanted to carry out the Rebbe’s wish, as a chosid, and planned to purchase a house (in place of the one that he was renting).
But (I heard) here, R’ Heschel faced a dilemma: You see, to buy a house (unless you have all the cash up front, which most people don’t), you need a mortgage. And in order to apply for a mortgage, the applicant needs to have a checking account. Which is actually one of the simpler criteria.
But R’ Heschel didn’t have a checking account. Because he had never entered a bank. As a matter of principle, he would not go into a bank. To him a bank, which was all about money and the obsession with material pursuits was the antithesis of everything that he stood for and dedicated his life to, and it was not a place where he would willing be seen.
On the other hand, it is (probably) impossible to open a checking account without going to the bank. And then again, without a checking account he couldn’t apply for a mortgage, and thus be unable to fulfill the Rebbe’s directive. On the one hand there was the Rebbe’s urging to own a home, but on the other hand were his principles.
Not knowing what to do, and as a true chosid, he wrote to the Rebbe about his dilemma. (I don’t know exactly what the Rebbe responded, but, apparently, he ended up acquiring his house).
Possibly, we need to feel that aversion to the bank and all that it represents (or whatever would be for us a deviation from our expected standards of kedusha). And only then can we truly use the bank (and – especially – all of the money in the bank...) for the sake of building a mishkan and making the world into a dira lo yisborach. We need to constantly remember that our standards, our place, are the standards of a chosid, of a tomim, of a shliach. No matter how much time we, necessarily, may spend with a world that is decidedly removed from that, we never stop yearning for our true place. ארצי, our true desire and yearning (ארץ שרצתה לעשות רצון קונה), is for G-dliness and holiness.
This approach ensures our success in saving the neshomos that we set out to save, and in being worthy of the Rebbe’s reassurance that we will emerge unscathed, and even better than before.
In a more general sense, this is true about our sojourn in golus. Regardless of the important achievements that we need to do here, this can never become, ch”v, our comfort zone. At every moment it has to remain crystal clear to us that this is not our place, and we have to cry out to Hashem (לבן-לובן העליון) with all of our hearts שלחני ואלכה אל מקומי ולארצי! Our only place is together with our Father, at His table, and our only land, our home, is back in Eretz Yisroel, with Yitzchok (when we will say to him ki atoh avinu), in the rebuilt beis hamikdosh NOW!
L’chaim! Let us dedicate ourselves and our kochos to save every neshomo that we can, together with the realization that our only place and our only home is with the geulah hoamitis vehashleima, and may the Eibishter immediately remove us from the cesspool of golus and restore us to מקומינו וארצינו, with the immediate hisgalus of Moshiach Tzidkeinu NOW!!!
Rabbi Akiva Wagner
