Leading out of the mikvah, I discovered that I was just centimeters away from the stairs, only I didn't realize it.
The lesson is that a person is very close to the path of teshuvah, perhaps just centimeters away, but he thinks he is in total darkness and loses hope. Suddenly, his neshamah hears Hashem's footsteps walking in Gan Eden. He just has to pour out his bitter heart and to say before Hashem, "I don't know the way out of the darkness!" "Just a moment," replies the voice. He stretches out His arm to me and takes me to a good place. We then discover that we were just centimeters away from the light, foolishly thinking we were lost.
A person just has to begin the teshuvah, and then Hashem will help him succeed. As Chazal say, "Open up for me the size of a needle loop, and I will open for you an opening so wide that carriages and animals can drive through."
7. Before reciting the thirteen attributes, we say a tefillah. Most of the time, the tefillah is כסא על יושב מלך ל-א רחמים, "G-d, King, sits on the throne of compassion..." However, each day of selichos, before the first time we say the thirteen attributes, we say a different tefillah. This tefillah begins with ארך ל-א אפים. This is because when we start the selichos, Hashem isn't yet sitting on the throne of compassion. That only occurs after we say the thirteen attributes of rachamim. Therefore, the first time we say the thirteen attributes, we begin with the tefillah כמוך ל-א מי, and we say the thirteen attributes. And now we can say כסא על יושב מלך ל-א רחמים, that Hashem sits on His throne of compassion.
When we say selichos on Yom Kippur, we say רחמים כסא על יושב מלך ל-א also the first time. This is because on Yom Kippur, Hashem sits on His throne of compassion even before we say the thirteen attributes of compassion.
Rabbeinu Yonah (beginning of Shaarei Teshuvah) writes, "Hashem helps those who want to do teshuvah, but aren't able to. Hashem gives them a new, pure spirit from Above, so they can attain His love." This means that when a person tries to do teshuva, Hashem helps him succeed with it.
Chazal (Psikta Shuvah Yisrael, ch.9) say: "A mashal of the son of a king who was distant from the king for one hundred days. His friends said, 'Return to your father.' The son said that he can't. The father sent a message. 'Come as far as you can, and I will meet you midway.'" The Psikta says that Hakadosh Baruch Hu says אליכם ואשובה אלי שובה, "Return to Me, and then I will return to you." Hashem tells us to return as much as we can, and then Hashem will help us complete the teshuvah.
3] The Gemara (Rosh Hashanah 17:) states, “If the pasuk hadn’t said it, we wouldn’t be permitted to say it. Hakadosh Baruch Hu wrapped Himself like a shaliach tzibbur (chazan) and showed Moshe [the thirteen attributes of mercy]. Hashem told Moshe, ‘Whenever Yidden sin, say this before Me, and I will forgive them...’”
The Gemara says, של מדות ג"לי כרותה ברית ריקם חוזרות שאינן רחמים, Hashem made a bris (pact) with the מדות ג"י, that they will always be effective. They will always arouse Hashem's compassion, and Hashem will be willing to accept our repentance.
Rabbeinu B'Chayei (Shemos 34:6) writes, "Whoever knows the translation of the thirteen attributes, and says them with kavanah, his tefillah will be answered – unless he has aveiros that prevent it. Now that we are in galus, we don’t have a kohen gadol to atone for our sins. We don’t have a mizbeach to bring the korbanos. All we have are our tefillos and the thirteen attributes of mercy."
Shaarei Teshuvah (581:1) writes, “One must say selichos ובכוונה ובמיתון בנחת, pleasantly, without rushing, and with kavanah. It is forbidden to say the thirteen middos without kavanah.”
The Rebbe of Gustenin zt'l said it is a mitzvah to review the tosfos (Rosh Hashanah 17, in the agadata), which explains the meaning of the thirteen attributes of rachamim. Tosfos writes there, "חנון means Hashem has mercy on those who are going through hard times. [Hashem says], 'I am compassionate and can't see them suffer. חנון also means חנם מתנת, an undeserved gift." Hashem says, “I can't bear to see My children in pain," therefore, Hashem forgives us even when we don't deserve it.
