Yosef said to his brothers, "I am Yosef. Is my father still alive?" But his brothers could not answer him because they were agitated in his presence. (45:3) The commentators ask that the whole episode of Yosef acting as a stranger to his brothers is perplexing. Besides, the fact that Yosef knew that his father was grieving over his supposed violent death; so why did he not send word to his father that he was alive and thereby save him endless anguish? Another difficulty arises when the Torah states
They told Yaakov "Yosef is still alive," and he rules over the entire land of Mitzrayim, (45:26) was it not sufficient for the brothers to tell Yaakov that Yosef was still alive? Why did they have to add that he ruled over Mitzrayim? The heilige Ramban (42:9) explains that Yosef knew that his dreams were not simply dreams but were prophetic visions, that would chart the course of the future history of Klal Yisroel, which needed to be actualized. The prophecy consisted of eleven brothers bowing before him, as well as his father and Bilhah, who had raised Yosef as a mother. The realization of the dreams hinged on his being elevated to a royal position. Only then would the eleven brothers bow down to him as the eleven precursor wheat bundles had bowed to his bundle in the dream. When the brothers first appeared without Binyamin, Yosef realized that before he could reveal his identity he needed to find a way to force Binyamin to descend to Mitzrayim – to complete the number of eleven supplicants, in accord with the fateful dream. His plan bore fruit when Binyamin was finally sent to Mitzrayim and all eleven brothers bowed to Yosef. Now after the bundles had bowed down, the second dream about the sun, representing Yaakov, and the moon representing Bilhah, could be fulfilled. Yosef was now able to reveal his identity, triggering the journey to Egypt of Yaakov and the entire family, and thus bringing about the fulfillment of the second prophecy. Therefore Yosef couldn’t reveal to Yaakov earlier that he was alive, since he was bent on having the dreams come true in every detail, as he discerned the wishes of Hashem. By contacting Yaakov earlier, the dreams would not have been fulfilled.
Based on this insight, we now understand why Yosef tells Yaakov that he is a ruler over Egypt: Surely Yosef, a humble ruler, was not interested in letting his father Yaakov be aware of his glory merely for his own sake, to enhance his standing in his father‘s eyes. Rather referring to what happened after Yosef recanted his dream, So his brothers envied him, but his father awaited the matter. (37:11) Rashi explains: He was waiting and looking forward in expectation of when the fulfillment would come. Yosef conveyed to his father two messages. One that he maintained his personal righteousness, and through his temporal power he had enormous spiritual influence on the lives of the people in Mitzrayim. Secondly, he recanted the plan of Hashem with the dream, and how it was unfolding with the bowing of the brothers to him. Now it was time for the whole dream to come forth.
When Yaakov heard of Yosef’s great accomplishments, his spirits were lifted not only because his son was alive but also because of his son’s spiritual impact. This is why the posuk teaches two messages to Yaakov about Yosef: 1. Yosef is physically alive and 2. that Yosef ruled Mitzrayim in the spiritual sense. These two aspects were equally important to Yaakov, and he was rejuvenated and envigorated and ready to undertake the arduous descent to Mitzrayim in order to fulfil the chart that Hashem had prepared.
(Yehuda Z. Klitnick)
